Talking Turkey - Revision history

SolarBot: replaced: … → ... (6)

2026-01-04T15:53:36Z

replaced: … → ... (6)

Solar Dragon at 14:25, January 4, 2026

2026-01-04T14:25:07Z

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Talking Turkey |image = x100px |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Cold Turkey}} |requirements = |characters..."

2026-01-04T14:09:23Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Talking Turkey |image = x100px |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Cold Turkey}} |requirements = |characters..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = Talking Turkey
|image = [[File:Tapped Out Talking Turkey Sidebar.png|x100px]]
|level = 5
|update = {{TOCU|Cold Turkey}}
|requirements =
|characters =
|optional =
|internal = TalkingTurkey
|id = 274001 - 274005
|previous = [[The Hunting Homer]]
|next = [[Them's the Breaks]]
|event = yes
}}

'''Talking Turkey''' is an event-exclusive questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Cold Turkey}} content update.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing [[The Hunting Homer]]|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Guilty}}
{{TB|C'mon, Apu. You gotta help me out. You must have a turkey somewhere…}}
{{Tapped Out Apu Icon}}
{{TB|I am sorry, Mr. Homer, but we've been cleaned out. But I do have a large vat of turkey chili…which is actually hamburger…which is actually sawdust.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|{{*}}points to rollers{{*}} How about these turkey hot dogs on the rollers?}}
{{Tapped Out Apu Icon}}
{{TB|Those are the rollers. Decades of built-up grease.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Pained}}
{{TB|Why do my bad decisions always have consequences?!}}
{{Tapped Out Apu Icon}}
{{TB|There is hope. You can try to get a turkey from Mendoza Tower. That's where we order our wholesale turkeys. Perhaps you can get one directly.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Scared}}
{{TB|Mendoza Tower? Senator Mendoza? The notorious drug kingpin and murderer?}}
{{Tapped Out Apu Icon}}
{{TB|Yes.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Relieved}}
{{TB|Thank goodness. I thought you meant Ernie Mendoza from the nuclear plant. I owe him five bucks.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Gravy Boats|155}} {{Task/Job|Make Apu Finally Sell Some Turkey Chili|4 hours|a {{TOG|Kwik-E-Mart}}, [[Springfield Grocery Store]], [[Cost-Mo]], [[Try-N-Save]], [[Quick & Fresh]], [[Sconewall Bakery]], [[Swapper Jack's]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Hello, my name's Homer Simpson and I'm here to buy a turkey. Preferably, a tur-turk-turk — that's a turkey inside a turkey inside another turkey.}}
{{Tapped Out Wolfcastle Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Sit down, you dumbkopf, before you get someone killed and all of these things.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|What in the world are you talking abo—}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|What the—? How did you get in here?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|I walked through the front door. Are you the guy I talk to about getting a turkey?}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|That's the last time I outsource my henchmen positions to moonlighting mobsters.}}
{{Tapped Out Louie Icon}}
{{TB|Hey, there was nothing about locking the door in your job listing on Craigslist.}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|When I invite all my enemies into my headquarters to hold them for ransom, you should assume that I want the front door locked.}}
{{Tapped Out Louie Icon}}
{{TB|Noted for next time.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Mendoza's Tower]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 1|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon}}
{{TB|Since you've crashed my little party, Mr. Simpson, you might as well make yourself comfortable.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Thank goodness. I've been on my feet for what feels like minutes! {{*}}sits down and puts his feet up{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Wolfcastle Icon}}
{{TB|He means that he's holding you captive now.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|D'oh}}
{{TB|D'oh!}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Gravy Boats|115}} {{Task/Optional|Make Mendoza Take Homer Captive|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Mendoza]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Get Captured|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}} {{Task/Optional|Make Wolfcastle Shake His Head|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Wolfcastle]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|What's this all about, anyway?}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon}}
{{TB|Ah, yes. The part where the supervillain explains his entire plan. I find it more efficient to put it in a PDF. Check your phone, I just texted it to you.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|{{*}}looks at phone{{*}} I can't open it. My data plan only covers emojis.}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Diabolical}}
{{TB|Fine, I'll say it. I've gathered all my enemies that I've built up over the years and am going to hold them ransom until they meet my demands.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Ohh, so that's why Rainer Wolfcastle is here. Because McBain is your nemesis, right?}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|You know it. I hired him to entertain at my kid's birthday party and he only did one catchphrase and then left before the cake came out.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} Ice Sculptures Bundle|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 2|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|Cletus and Brandine? What are you doing here?}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon}}
{{TB|Turkey laundering is one of my chief operations, and as turkey producers the Spucklers are my main competition.}}
{{Tapped Out Cletus Icon}}
{{TB|Thass right. We proudly sell "ButterFace" turkeys. They taste good but look like ass.}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Diabolical}}
{{TB|And now you will sign your business over to me.}}
{{Tapped Out Cletus Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|As I told's you b'fore, ain't no way I's sellin' my turkey bidness…or my proprietary recipe of herbs, spices and possum meat over ta the likes a you.}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I'm afraid that answer is unacceptable. Brandine, do you have any final words for your husband?}}
{{Tapped Out Brandine Icon|Scared}}
{{TB|Don't kill my husband-brother! I need him to push start the tractor every mornin'. Plus I's think I's pregnant 'gain.}}
{{Tapped Out Cletus Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|You mean I's gonna be a papa ta lucky child number forty? Heck, in that case, you win, Mr. Mendoza. {{*}}signs paper{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|C'mon, Wolfcastle. This situation has you written all over it. Channel your inner McBain and take Mendoza down.}}
{{Tapped Out Wolfcastle Icon}}
{{TB|No vay. I don't work for free. Plus I just came from my Pilates class this morning, and my glutes are killing me from all of the Dogs Going Downward and other poses of that nature.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|Well, I can't let my wife and children down on Thanksgiving. Because I'm already planning on doing that on Christmas and New Year's.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Gravy Boats|155}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Escape|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}} {{Task/Optional|Make Wolfcastle Complain About Soreness|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Wolfcastle]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Cletus Sign Away His Turkey Farm|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Cletus]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Brandine Start Thinking of Names|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Brandine]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Megaphone}}
{{TB|This is the police. We've got the building surrounded. Release the captives and come out with your hands up.}}
{{Tapped Out Louie Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Oh no, it's the fuzz!}}
{{Tapped Out Legs Icon}}
{{TB|Fuzz? Nobody says that anymore. What are you, seventy?}}
{{Tapped Out Louie Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Excuse me, Mister Millennial over here!}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon}}
{{TB|Don't worry about the police — they'll never get in. I've left nothing to chance.}}
{{Tapped Out Louie Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Then why is the fat man escaping up those stairs over there?}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Why didn't you tie him up?}}
{{Tapped Out Legs Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|I did! He ate the ropes.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|String In Mouth}}
{{TB|{{*}}running away{{*}} You mean that wasn't Twizzlers?!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Police Headquarters]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 3|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|{{*}}talking on police radio{{*}} Is anyone there? This is Scoey. I'm a police negotiator. Did you get our care package?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio Confused}}
{{TB|{{*}}talking on radio{{*}} You mean this police radio and a tuna sandwich?}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Abrupt}}
{{TB|Hey, that tuna sandwich was my lunch! My wife put a little inspirational cartoon in there with it!}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Sir, can you give us your name, please?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio Worried}}
{{TB|I'm Homer Simpson — scared citizen — and I'm trapped inside the building.}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Mr. Simpson, I'll be honest with you, the situation doesn't look good. But lucky for us, you're our man on the inside.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio Pained}}
{{TB|Aw, but I want to be the man on the outside! Why can't you come in here and handle this yourselves?}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio Surprised}}
{{TB|Whoa, that's crazy! I'm only two days away from retirement. Everyone knows that's the most dangerous time for a cop.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Well I only came here for a turkey, I'm no hero. Mmmm…turkey hero.}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Tell you what. You help us take down Mendoza, and we'll give you the turkey we got for the department.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio Confused}}
{{TB|Risking my life for a turkey? Doesn't seem like a fair trade to me.}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|We'll throw in some cranberry sauce.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|It better be the canned kind that makes a "schloop" sound when it comes out.}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Fine.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio Happy}}
{{TB|Deal!}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Gravy Boats|155}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Follow Police Instructions|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}} {{Task/Optional|Make Wiggum Pout About His Sandwich|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Wiggum]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Mendoza Search for Homer|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Mendoza]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Okay, I'm gonna teach you a little trick I learned at the academy. You got the bag of Pop Rox?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Check.}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Can of Diet Buzz Cola?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Check.}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Stick of gum?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Check.}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
{{TB|Great. Now use the gum because your breath is terrible.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio Confused}}
{{TB|How can you smell my breath when we're talking on the radio?}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio Annoyed}}
{{TB|I was in front of you in a line at the bank seven years ago — I remember. Chew the gum! And no bubbles!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio Annoyed}}
{{TB|Okay, okay. Let's just get this over with.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Live-4-Ever Boat]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 4|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|Mendoza, the jig is up. Let the captives go.}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Diabolical}}
{{TB|Ahh, Mr. Simpson returns. Any last words before I send you to Fatso Heaven?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Furious}}
{{TB|Yeah. Prepare to have your world Roxed! {{*}}throws can of mixed Pop Rox and Diet Buzz Cola{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Legs Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|He just mixed Pop Rox with Diet Buzz Cola!}}
{{Tapped Out Louie Icon|Pained}}
{{TB|{{*}}Diet Buzz Cola can explodes{{*}} I thought that was just an urban myyyyyyyth!}}
{{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Pained}}
{{TB|{{*}}shaking head{{*}} Ohh… What happened?}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|What happened is that you're under arrest, "Mendodo". You see what I did there? "Mendodo"?}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
{{TB|Would "Mendoozie" be better? I'll stick with Mendodo. It sounds like "dodo". {{*}}clicks handcuffs on Mendoza{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Wolfcastle Icon}}
{{TB|Homer, that was a fantastic one-liner you dropped just before taking down the bad guy. Can I use it in my next movie?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|No way. I thought you were a hero, but it turns out you're just a big sellout.}}
{{Tapped Out Wolfcastle Icon}}
{{TB|That's the name of the movie: "The Big Sellout". Look, can I use the line if I give you five percent of the royalties?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Woo Hoo}}
{{TB|Sold! Out!}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Gravy Boats|195}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Sign Away Rights to Wolfcastle|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}} {{Task/Optional|Make Wolfcastle Buy Homer's One-liner|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Wolfcastle]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Wiggum Arrest Mendoza|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Wiggum]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Mendoza Get Arrested|4 hours|[[Mendoza's Tower]], [[Mendoza's Mansion]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Mendoza]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Homer, you saved the day. Sorry about that stuff about your bad breath.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Ah, it's okay. Nice to see you again, Scoey!}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Wince}}
{{TB|Yeah. Could you put another stick of gum in that mouth if you don't mind?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Proud}}
{{TB|Sure thing. You're all right, you know that? Put 'er there, pal.}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Sorry, no physical contact for me. I'm only two days away from retirement.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|What the heck does that have to do with shaking my hand?}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|I'm just not taking any chances. I don't know where your hand has been!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I know where it's been — on the end of my arm! C'mon, shake!}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|No can do! {{*}}starts backing up{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Scoey, look out! You're backing up into the street!}}
{{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Don't mind me, Chief, just playing it safe— {{*}}gets hit by ambulance{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Yell}}
{{TB|Oh no. Somebody get an ambulance!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} {{ap|Scoey|Saturdays of Thunder}}|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/Cold Turkey}}

@@ Line 21: / Line 21: @@
 {{THT|After completing [[The Hunting Homer]]|colspan=2}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Guilty}}
-{{TB|C'mon, Apu. You gotta help me out. You must have a turkey somewhere…}}
+{{TB|C'mon, Apu. You gotta help me out. You must have a turkey somewhere...}}
 {{Tapped Out Apu Icon}}
-{{TB|I am sorry, Mr. Homer, but we've been cleaned out. But I do have a large vat of turkey chili…which is actually hamburger…which is actually sawdust.}}
+{{TB|I am sorry, Mr. Homer, but we've been cleaned out. But I do have a large vat of turkey chili...which is actually hamburger...which is actually sawdust.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Curious}}
 {{TB|{{*}}points to rollers{{*}} How about these turkey hot dogs on the rollers?}}
@@ Line 99: / Line 99: @@
 {{TB|And now you will sign your business over to me.}}
 {{Tapped Out Cletus Icon|Angry}}
-{{TB|As I told's you b'fore, ain't no way I's sellin' my turkey bidness…or my proprietary recipe of herbs, spices and possum meat over ta the likes a you.}}
+{{TB|As I told's you b'fore, ain't no way I's sellin' my turkey bidness...or my proprietary recipe of herbs, spices and possum meat over ta the likes a you.}}
 {{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Annoyed}}
 {{TB|I'm afraid that answer is unacceptable. Brandine, do you have any final words for your husband?}}
@@ Line 154: / Line 154: @@
 {{TB|Whoa, that's crazy! I'm only two days away from retirement. Everyone knows that's the most dangerous time for a cop.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Radio}}
-{{TB|Well I only came here for a turkey, I'm no hero. Mmmm…turkey hero.}}
+{{TB|Well I only came here for a turkey, I'm no hero. Mmmm...turkey hero.}}
 {{Tapped Out Scoey Icon|Radio}}
 {{TB|Tell you what. You help us take down Mendoza, and we'll give you the turkey we got for the department.}}
@@ Line 205: / Line 205: @@
 {{TB|{{*}}Diet Buzz Cola can explodes{{*}} I thought that was just an urban myyyyyyyth!}}
 {{Tapped Out Mendoza Icon|Pained}}
-{{TB|{{*}}shaking head{{*}} Ohh… What happened?}}
+{{TB|{{*}}shaking head{{*}} Ohh... What happened?}}
 {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
 {{TB|What happened is that you're under arrest, "Mendodo". You see what I did there? "Mendodo"?}}

@@ Line 5: / Line 5: @@
 |update = {{TOCU|Cold Turkey}}
 |requirements =
-|characters =
+|characters = [[Apu]], [[Homer]]
-|optional =
+|optional = [[Mendoza]], [[Wolfcastle]], [[Cletus]], [[Brandine]], [[Wiggum]], See [[#Currency-earning jobs|Currency-earning jobs]]
 |internal = TalkingTurkey
 |id = 274001 - 274005
@@ Line 244: / Line 244: @@
 {{TB|Oh no. Somebody get an ambulance!}}
 {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>{{ap|Scoey|Saturdays of Thunder}}|colspan=2}}
 }}
 {{Tapped Out Quests/Cold Turkey}}