Sideshow Bob Roberts/Quotes - Revision history

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2F13: formatting, linking

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formatting, linking

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Show changes

108.64.230.99: updated rest to standard

2014-09-01T19:18:25Z

updated rest to standard

Show changes

108.64.230.99: Added Sideshow Bob's call-in; started editing rest of page

2014-06-07T06:11:05Z

Added Sideshow Bob's call-in; started editing rest of page

2.96.39.78 at 18:08, September 22, 2012

2012-09-22T18:08:15Z

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2012-09-05T21:36:03Z

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@@ Line 57: / Line 57: @@
 {{qf|Marge}} Mmm...Bart, I wish you wouldn't lie like that. ''[takes the bundle, douses it in sink, throws it away]''
 :''[at school]''
-{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} And now, as a special sendoff and a way to say {{w|Chinese New Year|"Gong Hei Fat Choy"}} to our visiting Chinese principals, Bart Simpson has promised us a fireworks display.
+{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} And now, as a special sendoff and a way to say {{W|Chinese New Year|"Gong Hei Fat Choy"}} to our visiting Chinese principals, Bart Simpson has promised us a fireworks display.
 :''[Skinner motions to Bart; Bart looks at Mrs. Krabappel, groans as she gives him "F"]''
 {{qf|Principal 1}} All week, he promise big firework display.

@@ Line 52: / Line 52: @@
 {{qf|Sideshow Bob}} That was a big mistake, Bart. No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.
 ----
-{{qf|Marge}} ''[listening to the radio]'' Mmm...this sounds awfully controversial. Lisa, you  know  I don't like controversy in this house.
+{{qf|Marge}} ''[listening to the radio]'' Mmm...this sounds awfully controversial. Lisa, you know I don't like controversy in this house.
 {{qf|Lisa}} I don't like him either, Mom, but I'm doing a report on local politics for my school project.
 {{qf|Bart}} You think you're so big because your class always gets to do projects. ''[proudly]'' Well, um, I'm doing a school project on, er, fireworks. ''[displays a bundle]''

@@ Line 95: / Line 95: @@
 {{qf|Homer}} Aaaaahhhh! It's the rapture! Quick, get Bart out of the house before God comes!
 :''[Homer runs outside.]''
-{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} So sorry, Mr. Simpson. Your house is blocking construction for our new {{w|Matlock (TV series)|Matlock}} Expressway.
+{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} So sorry, Mr. Simpson. Your house is blocking construction for our new {{W2|Matlock|TV series}} Expressway.
 :''[There's a big bridge.]''
 {{qf|Sideshow Bob}} However, I an a fair man. You will have 72 hours to vacate. At that time, we will blow up your house and any remaining Simpsons.

@@ Line 37: / Line 37: @@
 {{qf|Sideshow Bob}} Because you ''need'' me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside, you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalise criminals and rule you like a king!
 ----
-{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} ''[Calling in to Birch Barlow's talk show}'' Kudos for bringing the public back to the Republican Party. It's high time people realized we conservatives aren't all Johnny Hatemongers and Charlie Biblethumps and even--God forbid--George Bushes.
+{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} ''[Calling in to Birch Barlow's talk show]'' Kudos for bringing the public back to the Republican Party. It's high time people realized we conservatives aren't all Johnny Hatemongers and Charlie Biblethumps and even—God forbid—George Bushes.
 ----
 {{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The results are in: for Sideshow Bob, one hundred percent; and for Joe Quimby, one percent. And, we remind you, there is a one percent margin of error.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{TabQ}}
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo |Itchy & Scratchy Land|Treehouse of Horror V|Sideshow Bob Roberts}}
 {{qf|Singers}} ''Without Mayor Quimby, our town would really stink
@@ Line 57: / Line 56: @@
 {{qf|Bart}} You think you're so big because your class always gets to do projects. ''[proudly]'' Well, um, I'm doing a school project on, er, fireworks. ''[displays a bundle]''
 {{qf|Marge}} Mmm...Bart, I wish you wouldn't lie like that. ''[takes the bundle, douses it in sink, throws it away]''
+:''[at school]''
-:''[at school]
+{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} And now, as a special sendoff and a way to say {{w|Chinese New Year|"Gong Hei Fat Choy"}} to our visiting Chinese principals, Bart Simpson has promised us a fireworks display.
+:''[Skinner motions to Bart; Bart looks at Mrs. Krabappel, groans as she gives him "F"]''
 {{qf|Principal 1}} All week, he promise big firework display.
 {{qf|Principal 2}} Bad student.
-{{qf|Principal 1}} Uh-uh...bad principal.
+{{qf|Principal 1}} Uh-uh... bad principal.
 ----
 {{qf|Birch Barlow}} So, my friends, let's just junk those Dumbocrats and their bleeding-heart smellfare program.
 {{qf|Lisa}} Dad, I had to listen to this jerk all morning. Can we listen to something else?
 {{qf|Homer}} When I'm driving the car, I get to choose the radio station. When you're driving, we'll listen to your radio station.
 :''[scene cuts to Lisa driving and smiling as she listens to John Parr's "St. Elmo's Fire" theme]''
+{{qf|Homer}} ''[moans]'' I can't take this any more! Let's switch back.
 ----
 {{qf|Lisa}} Sideshow Bob used to be Krusty the Klown's sidekick. In 1990, he framed Krusty for armed robbery and Bart got him put in jail.
@@ Line 81: / Line 75: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Principal Skinner}} Now, students, I want you to be on your best behavior for this carefully-choreographed media event. Now this means there is to be no wising-off, no face-making, and no grass-eating. This means you, Ralph.
-{{qf|Ralph}} ''[with a full mouth of grass]'' Yes, sir.
+{{qf|[[Ralph]]}} ''[with a full mouth of grass]'' Yes, sir.
 ----
 {{qf|Quimby}} ''[with a cold]'' I shouldn't have shaken hands with those old people.
+:''[Bart hands him some pills; Quimby eats a handful, then stumbles on stage.]''
 {{qf|Lisa}} I hope that flu doesn't affect his performance out there.
-{{qf|Bart}} Don't worry...he's taken a million of these capsules.
+{{qf|Bart}} Don't worry... he's taken a million of these capsules.
 :''[box says "Extra-Drowsy Formula"]''
 ----
-{{qf|Homer}} ''[looks at ballot information]'' Hmm...I don't agree with his Bart-killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy. ''[votes for Bob]''
+{{qf|Homer}} ''[looks at ballot information]'' Hmm... I don't agree with his Bart-killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy. ''[votes for Bob]''
 {{qf|Krusty}} Well, he framed me for armed robbery, but man, I'm aching for that upper-class tax cut. ''[votes for Bob]''
 ----
@@ Line 99: / Line 90: @@
 {{qf|Principal Skinner}} Well, yes, but not for four or five years. Bart, you're going to kindergarten.
 {{qf|Bart}} Kindergarten?!
-{{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} ''[pops a champagne cork]'' Hah!
+{{qf|[[Mrs. Krabappel]]}} ''[pops a champagne cork]'' Hah!
 ----
-:''[there's an earthquake-like rumbling]''
+:''[There's an earthquake-like rumbling.]''
 {{qf|Homer}} Aaaaahhhh! It's the rapture! Quick, get Bart out of the house before God comes!
+:''[Homer runs outside.]''
 {{qf|Sideshow Bob}} So sorry, Mr. Simpson. Your house is blocking construction for our new {{w|Matlock (TV series)|Matlock}} Expressway.
+:''[There's a big bridge.]''
 {{qf|Sideshow Bob}} However, I an a fair man. You will have 72 hours to vacate. At that time, we will blow up your house and any remaining Simpsons.
 {{qf|Marge}} Homer, we have to stop these guys!
 {{qf|Homer}} I know what you're up to, Mayor Terwilliger. And no one in my family is gonna stand for it!
 :''[there's a honking sound]''
 {{qf|Grampa}} Move your darn house, son!
 ----

@@ Line 3: / Line 3: @@
 {{Cleanup}}
-:'''Singers''': ''Without Mayor Quimby, our town would really stink
+:'''Singers:''' ''Without Mayor Quimby, our town would really stink
 :''We wouldn't have a tire yard or a mid-sized roller rink
 :''We wouldn't have our gallows, or a shiny Bigfoot trap
 :''It's not the mayor's fault that the stadium collapsed
-:'''Man''': Quimby. If you were running for mayor, he'd vote for you. Paid for by the Mayor Quimby for Mayor Mayoral Committee.
+:'''Man:''' Quimby. If you were running for mayor, he'd vote for you. Paid for by the Mayor Quimby for Mayor Mayoral Committee.
 ----
-'''[[Lisa]]:''' Congratulations, Bart. You get to go back to the fourth grade!
+:'''[[Lisa]]:''' Congratulations, Bart. You get to go back to the fourth grade!
-'''[[Bart]]:''' Oh... tomorrow we were gonna find out who the dish ran away with
+:'''[[Bart]]:''' Oh... tomorrow we were gonna find out who the dish ran away with
-'''Lisa:''' The spoon, Bart
+:'''Lisa:''' The spoon, Bart
-'''Bart:''' ''[gasps]'' of course
+:'''Bart:''' ''[gasps]'' of course
 ----
-'''[[Jimbo]]:''' ''[after wrapping Milhouse in Vote Quimby bumper stickers and placing him in a shopping cart]'' All right! The mummy is ready for his mystical journey! ''[pushes Milhouse down the hill]''
+:'''[[Jimbo]]:''' ''[after wrapping Milhouse in Vote Quimby bumper stickers and placing him in a shopping cart]'' All right! The mummy is ready for his mystical journey! ''[pushes Milhouse down the hill]''
-'''[[Milhouse]]:''' Aaaaah! What's happening?
+:'''[[Milhouse]]:''' Aaaaah! What's happening?
 ----
-'''Larry King:''' Now even though we're being broadcast on... FOX, there's no need for obnoxious hooting and hollering. ''[The entire audience hoots and hollers obnoxiously]''
+:'''[[Larry King]]:''' Now even though we're being broadcast on... FOX, there's no need for obnoxious hooting and hollering. ''[The entire audience hoots and hollers obnoxiously]''
 ----
-'''Bart:''' "I found Edgar Neubauer."
-''[Bart points at a tombstone which reads "Edgar Neubauer: Beloved husband and old grouch (1831-1909)".]''
+:'''Bart:''' I found Edgar Neubauer!
-'''Bart''': "Oh, my God ... the dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"
+:''[Bart points at a tombstone which reads "Edgar Neubauer: Beloved husband and old grouch (1831-1909)".]''
 ----
 Lisa: I can't believe a convicted felon would get so many votes and another convicted felon would get so few.
 ----
-'''Bart''': You were just Barlow's lackie!
+:'''Lisa''': You don't have the intelligence to rig an election, do you?!
-'''Lisa''': You were Ronny to his Nancy!
+:'''Lisa:''' You were Ronny to his Nancy!
-'''Bart''': Sonny to his Cher!
+:'''Bart:''' Sonny to his Cher!
-'''Lisa''': Ringo to his rest of the Beatles!
+:'''Lisa:''' Ringo to his rest of the Beatles!
-'''Sideshow Bob''': ENOUGH! Lies, lies, lies! I did it! I did it all! ''[the crowd gasps] There!'' Is that what you want, you smarmy little bastards?!
+:'''Sideshow Bob:''' ENOUGH! Lies, lies, lies! I did it! I did it all! ''[the crowd gasps] There!'' Is that what you want, you smarmy little bastards?!
-'''Bart:''' We want the truth!
+:'''Bart:''' We want the truth!
-'''[[Sideshow Bob]]:''' You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! No truth-handler, you. Bah, I deride your truth-handling abilities!
+:'''[[Sideshow Bob]]:''' You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! No truth-handler, you! Bah, I deride your truth-handling abilities!
-'''Judge Snyder''': Will you get to the point?
+:'''[[Judge Snyder]]:''' Will you get to the point?
-'''Sideshow Bob''': The ''point'' is only I could have executed such a masterpiece of electoral fraud and I have the records to prove it! Just look at ''these''! ''[pulls out a number of ledgers and floppy disks]'' Each one a work of Machiavellian art!
+:'''Sideshow Bob''': The ''point'' is only I could have executed such a masterpiece of electoral fraud and I have the records to prove it! Just look at ''these''! ''[pulls out a number of ledgers and floppy disks]'' Each one a work of Machiavellian art!
-'''Judge Snyder''': But why?
+:'''Judge Snyder:''' But why?
-'''Sideshow Bob''': Because you ''need' me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside, you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalise criminals and rule you like a king!
+:'''Sideshow Bob:''' Because you ''need' me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside, you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalise criminals and rule you like a king!
 ----
-Kent Brockman: The results are in: for Sideshow Bob, one hundred percent; and for Joe Quimby, one percent. And, we remind you, there is a one percent margin of error.
+:'''[[Kent Brockman]]:''' The results are in: for Sideshow Bob, one hundred percent; and for Joe Quimby, one percent. And, we remind you, there is a one percent margin of error.
 ----
-Birch Barlow: There are three things we are never going to get rid of in this town. One, the bats in the public library; two, Mrs. McFuly's compost heap; and three, our six-term mayor - the illiterate, tax-cheating, wife-swapping, pot-smoking spendocrat, Diamond Joe Quimby.
+:'''[[Birch Barlow]]:''' There are three things we are never going to get rid of in this town. One, the bats in the public library; two, Mrs. McFuly's compost heap; and three, our six-term mayor - the illiterate, tax-cheating, wife-swapping, pot-smoking spendocrat, Diamond Joe Quimby.
-Mayor Quimby: Hey, I am no longer illiterate!
+:'''Mayor Quimby:''' Hey, I am no longer illiterate!
 ----
-Lisa: This is so cool, we're just like Woodward and Bernstein.
+:'''Lisa:''' This is so cool, we're just like Woodward and Bernstein.
-Bart: Except their Dad wasn't sitting in the car reading Archie comics.
+:'''Bart:''' Except their Dad wasn't sitting in the car reading Archie comics.
-Homer: Stuck-up Riverdale punks, they think they're too good for me.
+:'''[[Homer]]:''' Stuck-up Riverdale punks, they think they're too good for me.
 ----
 Birch Barlow: Mayor Quimby, you are well known for your lenient stance on crime, but suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family was tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there's too much blood on the knob—Mayor Quimby: What is your question?

@@ Line 53: / Line 53: @@
 Homer: Stuck-up Riverdale punks, they think they're too good for me.
 ----
-Birch Barlow: Mayor Quimby, you are well known for your lenient stance on crime, but suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family was tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there's too much blood on the knob--
+Birch Barlow: Mayor Quimby, you are well known for your lenient stance on crime, but suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family was tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there's too much blood on the knob—Mayor Quimby: What is your question?
 ----
 Bart: We want the truth!
@@ Line 65: / Line 63: @@
 Sideshow Bob: That was a big mistake, Bart. No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.
 ----
-Marge: [listening to the radio] Mmm...this sounds awfully controversial. Lisa, you _know_ I don't like controversy in this house.
+Marge: [listening to the radio] Mmm...this sounds awfully controversial. Lisa, you  know  I don't like controversy in this house.
 Lisa: I don't like him either, Mom, but I'm doing a report on local politics for my school project.