Pygmoelian/Quotes - Revision history

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Solar Dragon at 12:16, July 5, 2018

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SolarBot at 08:04, August 31, 2012

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Solar Dragon at 14:32, December 5, 2010

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KevlarNinja at 14:15, August 14, 2010

2010-08-14T14:15:33Z

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{{TabQ
|episode=Pygmoelian
}}
:'''Homer''': Moe! The new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture.
:'''Moe''': Oh, boy! Move over, liquor license. (takes a framed license down from the wall)
:'''Lenny''': (reading license) Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and it's only good in Rhode Island … and it's signed by you.
:'''Moe''': Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated, uh, for this state and, real.
----
:'''Duff Man''': And the winner… Moe Szyslak!
:'''Moe''': Aw, that's great; thank you, thanks a lot. Uh, I just want to say that it was an honor for me to compete against the Mick and the, uh, the chick with the rack there.
----
:'''Duff Man''': Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley, and sparkling clear mountain … what?
:'''Titania''': (rings bell) Goat.
----
:'''Duff Man''': Are you ready for some Duff love?!
----
:'''Homer''': Good work, everyone. We're sure to be first in line for "Duff Days."
:'''Marge''': You set off the smoke alarm to rush us to a beer festival?
:'''Homer''': (chuckles I know. I'm a character. Now a little beer music to get in the mood.
----
:'''Moe''': Homer, did you hear that? She called me handsome! Me! It's like I've gone to heaven. Wait a minute…I died on the operating table didn't I?
:'''Homer''': He he, yeah but just for a minute. It's a funny story, I'll tell you some time.
----
:'''Nurse''': Oh boy, what a mug!
:'''Surgeon''': Yea, you should see his genitals, would you like to see his genitals?
:'''Moe''': I'm awake here.
:'''Surgeon''': Hey this isn't anesthetic it's new car smell.
----
:'''Moe''': It's hopeless, ain't it?
:'''Surgeon''': No, no, no, I love a challenge. First, we must install buttocks.
:'''Moe''': Nah, nah, nah - no luxury items. Just the face.
:'''Surgeon''': (drawing on Moe's face with a marker) Okay, I'm going to move this up, this wider. Gonna lose that. I've never even seen one of these!
----
:'''Marge''': Kids, would you like a balloon?
:'''Bart''': (sarcastic) Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwypop. Actually, I would like a wowwypop.
:'''Lisa''': Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwypop, I want a wowwypop.
----
:'''Gay man''': Alright then, we need a symbol for our campaign. Something that says we're gay and republican.
(A pink balloon in the shape of an elephant flies through the window.)
:'''Gay man''': A little bit on the nose, don't you think?
----
:'''Homer''': (to Lenny & Carl) OK, ready, guys? One...two...three...
(All three lift up their shirts; Homer has "M" on his chest, Carl has "O" on his and Lenny has "O" too)
:'''Homer''': "MOO"!? Lenny, you were suppose to be "E"!
:'''Carl''': See what happens when you skip rehearsal?
----
:'''Moe''': Am I really that ugly?
:'''Carl''': Well, it's all relative, Moe. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney really that drunk? Is Homer really that fat, bald and stupid?
(Everyone but Carl begins to cry)
:'''Carl''' (to the camera): See, this is why I don't talk much.

{{Season 11 Q}}

@@ Line 35: / Line 35: @@
 {{qf|[[Helen Morehouse]]}} What were you thinking?
 {{qf|Director}} Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
-{{qf|Helen Morehouse}} I wanted Maryanne on ''{{W|Gilligan's Island}}'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
+{{qf|Helen Morehouse}} I wanted Maryanne on ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
 ----
 {{qf|[[Tad Winslow]]}} Cleo, Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}}
-{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug -- oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak!
+{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug—oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak!
 ----
 {{qf|Duffman}} Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}}
-{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug -- oh yeah! -- Give it up for [[Moe Szyslak]]!
+{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug -- oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak!
 ----
 {{qf|Duffman}} Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
 {{qf|[[Titania]]}} Goat?
 {{qf|Duffman}} Eh, close enough!
-:''[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer]''
+:''[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer.]''
 {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Ahhh, you can really taste the goat.
 ----
@@ Line 15: / Line 15: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
-{{qf|Moe}} Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
+{{qf|[[Moe]]}} Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
 {{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in [[Rhode Island]], and it's signed by you.
 {{qf|Moe}} Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium.
@@ Line 22: / Line 22: @@
 {{qf|[[Carl]]}} Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
 {{qf|Moe}} Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
-:''[Moe, Lenny, [[Barney]] and Homer all start sobbing]''
+:''[Moe, Lenny, [[Barney]] and Homer all start sobbing.]''
 {{qf|Carl}} ''[to camera]'' See, this is why I don't talk much.
 ----
@@ Line 37: / Line 37: @@
 {{qf|Helen Morehouse}} I wanted Maryanne on ''{{W|Gilligan's Island}}'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
 ----
-{{qf|[[Tad Winslow]]}} [[Cleo]], Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
+{{qf|[[Tad Winslow]]}} Cleo, Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
-{{qf|Cleo}} But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
+{{qf|[[Cleo]]}} But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
 {{qf|Tad Winslow}} It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And [[Clive Dancer]]'s just waitin' for me to slip up.
 ----
@@ Line 45: / Line 45: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Moe}} And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
-{{qf|Homer (as an angel)}} You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
+{{qf|Homer}} ''[as an angel]'' You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
 {{qf|Moe}} How tragic. Tell me more.
 {{qf|Homer}} [[Gabriella St. Farge|Gabriella]]'s baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results.

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}}
-:'''[[Duffman]]:''' And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug -- oh yeah! -- Give it up for [[Moe Szyslak]]!
+{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug -- oh yeah! -- Give it up for [[Moe Szyslak]]!
 ----
-:'''Duffman:''' Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
+{{qf|Duffman}} Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
-:'''[[Titania]]:''' Goat?
+{{qf|[[Titania]]}} Goat?
-:'''Duffman:''' Eh, close enough!
+{{qf|Duffman}} Eh, close enough!
 :''[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer]''
-:'''[[Homer]]:''' Ahhh, you can really taste the goat.
+{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Ahhh, you can really taste the goat.
 ----
-:'''[[Marge]]:''' Kids, would you like a balloon?
+{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Kids, would you like a balloon?
-:'''[[Bart]]:''' Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop.
+{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop.
-:'''[[Lisa]]:''' Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwipop, I want a wowwipop.
+{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwipop, I want a wowwipop.
 ----
-:'''Homer:''' Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
+{{qf|Homer}} Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
-:'''Moe:''' Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
+{{qf|Moe}} Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
-:'''[[Lenny]]:''' Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in [[Rhode Island]], and it's signed by you.
+{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in [[Rhode Island]], and it's signed by you.
-:'''Moe:''' Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium.
+{{qf|Moe}} Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium.
 ----
-:'''Moe:''' Am I really that ugly?
+{{qf|Moe}} Am I really that ugly?
-:'''[[Carl]]:''' Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
+{{qf|[[Carl]]}} Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
-:'''Moe:''' Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
+{{qf|Moe}} Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
 :''[Moe, Lenny, [[Barney]] and Homer all start sobbing]''
-:'''Carl:''' ''[to camera]'' See, this is why I don't talk much.
+{{qf|Carl}} ''[to camera]'' See, this is why I don't talk much.
 ----
-:'''Moe:''' Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips...
+{{qf|Moe}} Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips...
-:'''Carl:''' The little rat eyes...
+{{qf|Carl}} The little rat eyes...
-:'''Homer:''' Caveman brow...
+{{qf|Homer}} Caveman brow...
-:'''Lenny:''' Don't forget that fish snout.
+{{qf|Lenny}} Don't forget that fish snout.
-:'''Moe:''' Okay, I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at.
+{{qf|Moe}} Okay, I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at.
-:'''Lenny:''' Or listen to.
+{{qf|Lenny}} Or listen to.
-:'''Carl:''' Or be with.
+{{qf|Carl}} Or be with.
 ----
-:'''[[Helen Morehouse]]:''' What were you thinking?
+{{qf|[[Helen Morehouse]]}} What were you thinking?
-:'''Director:''' Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
+{{qf|Director}} Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
-:'''Helen Morehouse:''' I wanted Maryanne on ''{{W|Gilligan's Island}}'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
+{{qf|Helen Morehouse}} I wanted Maryanne on ''{{W|Gilligan's Island}}'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
 ----
-:'''[[Tad Winslow]]:''' [[Cleo]], Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
+{{qf|[[Tad Winslow]]}} [[Cleo]], Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
-:'''Cleo:''' But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
+{{qf|Cleo}} But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
-:'''Tad Winslow:''' It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And [[Clive Dancer]]'s just waitin' for me to slip up.
+{{qf|Tad Winslow}} It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And [[Clive Dancer]]'s just waitin' for me to slip up.
 ----
-:'''Carl:''' So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door?
+{{qf|Carl}} So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door?
-:'''Lenny:''' Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade.
+{{qf|Lenny}} Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade.
 ----
-:'''Moe:''' And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
+{{qf|Moe}} And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
-:'''Homer (as an angel):''' You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
+{{qf|Homer (as an angel)}} You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
-:'''Moe:''' How tragic. Tell me more.
+{{qf|Moe}} How tragic. Tell me more.
-:'''Homer:''' [[Gabriella St. Farge|Gabriella]]'s baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results.
+{{qf|Homer}} [[Gabriella St. Farge|Gabriella]]'s baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results.
-:'''Moe:''' Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?
+{{qf|Moe}} Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?
-:'''Homer:''' Well, [[Sister Bernadette]] will leave the convent and start a softball team. With sexy results.
+{{qf|Homer}} Well, [[Sister Bernadette]] will leave the convent and start a softball team. With sexy results.
 ----
-:'''Moe:''' Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no...
+{{qf|Moe}} Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no...
 {{Season 11|Q}}

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}}
-:'''Homer''': Moe! The new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture.
+:'''[[Duffman]]:''' And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug -- oh yeah! -- Give it up for [[Moe Szyslak]]!
 ----
-:'''Duff Man''': And the winner… Moe Szyslak!
+:'''Duffman:''' Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
-:'''Moe''': Aw, that's great; thank you, thanks a lot. Uh, I just want to say that it was an honor for me to compete against the Mick and the, uh, the chick with the rack there.
+:'''[[Titania]]:''' Goat?
 ----
-:'''Duff Man''': Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley, and sparkling clear mountain … what?
+:'''[[Marge]]:''' Kids, would you like a balloon?
-:'''Titania''': (rings bell) Goat.
+:'''[[Bart]]:''' Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop.
 ----
-:'''Duff Man''': Are you ready for some Duff love?!
+:'''Homer:''' Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
 ----
-:'''Homer''': Good work, everyone. We're sure to be first in line for "Duff Days."
+:'''Moe:''' Am I really that ugly?
-:'''Marge''': You set off the smoke alarm to rush us to a beer festival?
+:'''[[Carl]]:''' Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
-:'''Homer''': (chuckles I know. I'm a character. Now a little beer music to get in the mood.
+:'''Moe:''' Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
 ----
-:'''Moe''': Homer, did you hear that? She called me handsome! Me! It's like I've gone to heaven. Wait a minute…I died on the operating table didn't I?
+:'''Moe:''' Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips...
-:'''Homer''': He he, yeah but just for a minute. It's a funny story, I'll tell you some time.
+:'''Carl:''' The little rat eyes...
 ----
-:'''Nurse''': Oh boy, what a mug!
+:'''[[Helen Morehouse]]:''' What were you thinking?
-:'''Surgeon''': Yea, you should see his genitals, would you like to see his genitals?
+:'''Director:''' Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
-:'''Moe''': I'm awake here.
+:'''Helen Morehouse:''' I wanted Maryanne on ''{{W|Gilligan's Island}}'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
 ----
-:'''Moe''': It's hopeless, ain't it?
+:'''[[Tad Winslow]]:''' [[Cleo]], Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
-:'''Surgeon''': No, no, no, I love a challenge. First, we must install buttocks.
+:'''Cleo:''' But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
-:'''Moe''': Nah, nah, nah - no luxury items. Just the face.
+:'''Tad Winslow:''' It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And [[Clive Dancer]]'s just waitin' for me to slip up.
 ----
-:'''Marge''': Kids, would you like a balloon?
+:'''Carl:''' So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door?
-:'''Bart''': (sarcastic) Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwypop. Actually, I would like a wowwypop.
+:'''Lenny:''' Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade.
 ----
-:'''Gay man''': Alright then, we need a symbol for our campaign. Something that says we're gay and republican.
+:'''Moe:''' And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
-(A pink balloon in the shape of an elephant flies through the window.)
+:'''Homer (as an angel):''' You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
-:'''Gay man''': A little bit on the nose, don't you think?
+:'''Moe:''' How tragic. Tell me more.
 ----
-:'''Homer''': (to Lenny & Carl) OK, ready, guys? One...two...three...
+:'''Moe:''' Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no...
 {{Season 11|Q}}

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{TabQ
+{{TabQ}}
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}}
@@ Line 37: / Line 35: @@
 :'''Bart''': (sarcastic) Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwypop. Actually, I would like a wowwypop.
 :'''Lisa''': Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwypop, I want a wowwypop.
 :'''[[Marge]]'':' Aw look Maggie wants a balloon...
 :'''[[Homer]]''':...and Daddy wants a hand stamp to get back in
 (Marge mummurs)
@@ Line 59: / Line 57: @@
 :(end credits begin to roll.)
-{{Season 11 Q}}
+{{Season 11|Q}}