https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Oh%2C_Brother%21%2FQuotes 2026-09-07T20:10:46Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Oh,_Brother!/Quotes&diff=1489773&oldid=prev 2026-09-02T16:01:36Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{tabQ|nogags}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Mayor_Quimby" class="mw-redirect" title="Mayor Quimby">Mayor Quimby</a>}} And so I am... er... declaring tomorrow &quot;Take Your Parent to Work Day!&quot; This is a mandatory holiday. Failure to comply will result in...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{tabQ|nogags}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} And so I am... er... declaring tomorrow &quot;Take Your Parent to Work Day!&quot; This is a mandatory holiday. Failure to comply will result in a flogging!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Hans Moleman]]}} It's not that I don't trust you, Doctor Nick, but I'd like a second opinion.<br /> {{qf|[[Dr. Nick]]}} Then it's lucky for you my father is here with me today!<br /> {{qf|[[Dr. Nick's father]]}} Take three leeches and sacrifice a maiden to the nearest volcano.<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} That's my dad! So old fashioned!<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick's father}} Now hold still while I take your temperature with this snake!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Krusty]]}} Oooookay! Say, dad, those baseball players today sure have weird names! For example, Who's playing first base!<br /> {{qf|[[Rabbi Krustofsky]]}} Son, for shame, making fun of a person's name? This is what passes for comedy nowadays?<br /> {{qf|Krusty}} Okay, forget about that. Knock knock!<br /> {{qf|Rabbi Krustofsky}} Come in!<br /> {{qf|Krusty}} No! Say &quot;Who's there?&quot;<br /> {{qf|Rabbi Krustofsky}} Why, don't I know it's you? You're my own son. Maybe it's because you never visit, never call. This is what it is to be a parent. We suffer, we suffer in silence.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} You know, I used to find meltdowns stressful, but now I think they're a nice break in the day.<br /> {{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} Yeah, it gives me an excuse to... whatayacallit?... practice my death bed repentance!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Well, I hope you're happy. That was the last substitute teacher available. Thanks to whoever did that prank, you all aren't going to learn anything for the rest of the day!<br /> {{qf|Kids}} Yay! Yahooo! Wooo!<br /> {{qf|Principal Skinner}} That wasn't the reaction I was hoping for.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Mr. Burns, your mother has left the building.<br /> {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Good! I can finally stop holding in my stomach! That's better!<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} She left with Abraham Simpson, sir.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Send him a condolence bouquet!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Bart, can you take your revenge plans off the table for breakfast?<br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} We really need to get a table just for revenge schemes.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Did you hear?<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Yes, did you?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Yeah. I suppose we're kind of brothers now.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} I never had a brother growing up.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Me, neither.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} And I don't want one now.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Me, neither.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Well then, go on, get lost!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} You get lost!<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} No, you get lost!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Why don't you make me?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} And now, a classic brotherly jape! Knocking on doors and running away! Now, run as fast as your legs will carry you!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} [TEE HEE!]<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Oh, my knees! I should have refilled them with fluid!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} [GASP!] [WHEEZE!]<br /> {{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} Are you two all right? Would you like to come in for a lemonade?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} [GASP!] Yes!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Say, this is kind of awkward, but during one of his threatening phone calls, I was talking to my banker about us being brothers, and he wanted to know if...<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} ...by being my youngest heir, you'd inherit my vast fortune when I pass on? Of course.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} That's what I told him.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Homer, are you thinking of ways to do away with me and make it look like an accident?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Yes, sir.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Ha! I'd be thinking exactly the same thing. You truly are my brother!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} I tried to bring your real mother to the power plant for &quot;Bring Your Parents to Work Day.&quot; But she's either not speaking to you or dead. The doctor isn't allowed to check because of a clause in her living will. So I hired an actress, Dame Tallulah Winkelman, to insult and berate you just like your real mother always did!<br /> {{qf|[[Tallulah Winkelman]]}} Charmed!<br /> {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} I should have expected something was wrong when I had to give ten percent of our wedding presents to her agent. And our pre-nup arrangement only gave our marriage a one-week run.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} So, we're not brothers after all.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} I suppose not.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Can we still be friends?<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} No, I can't be seen fraternizing with a lowly employee.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Oh.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} I could still hit you from time to time?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Can I hit you back?<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} No.<br /> <br /> [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]]</div>

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