SolarBot: /* Dialogue */ replaced: … → ... (6)

2025-06-29T17:38:15Z

‎Dialogue: replaced: … → ... (6)

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = No Crime Like the Present |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Holiday Whodunnit}} |requir..."

2025-06-28T15:16:31Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = No Crime Like the Present |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Holiday Whodunnit}} |requir..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = No Crime Like the Present
|image = [[File:Tapped Out Holiday Whodunnit Sidebar.png|x100px]]
|level = 15
|update = {{TOCU|Holiday Whodunnit}}
|requirements = {{ap|myPad|Tapped Out quest}}
|characters = [[Homer]], [[Lisa]]
|optional = [[Bart]], [[Marge]]
|internal = NoCrimeLikeThePresent
|id = 251000
|previous =
|next = {{TOQP|Out Cold|1}} {{TOQP|No Business Like Snow Business|1}} {{TOQP|Ho-ho-d'oh|1}} {{TOQP|Sleighing It|1}}
|event = yes
}}

'''No Crime Like the Present''' is an event-exclusive quest in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Holiday Whodunnit}} content update.

== Dialogue ==
{{Table|width=80%|
{{THT|After starting the update|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Milhouse, did you hear that Santa got attacked?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|By the bullies?!}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
{{TB|No one knows, but he's pretty messed up. So I guess no gifts from Santa this year…}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Well, I wasn't expecting much anyway. My dad just got fired from that beef bowl place for over-beefing the bowls.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Mouth Full}}
{{TB|{{*}}eating beef bowl{{*}} If you don't skimp the customer, you skimp yourself.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Well, I guess Santa getting attacked could be good then…maybe my dad can audition to replace him?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Not if I beat him to it. I just upgraded my snowmobile and gave it "Fast and the Furious"-grade nitrous.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|How does that in any way help you get hired as Santa?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Because whenever a Santa dies or is incapacitated, there's a race to replace him — and the winner gets his job! Plus a grandfather clock made of mahogany!}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
{{TB|Well, if you become the new Santa, here's my Christmas list: a waterslide from my bedroom window into an infinity pool with underwater surround-sound.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Dreamy}}
{{TB|Your wish is my command.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Excited}}
{{TB|Ooh! And if you become Santa, I want you to get my dad a car, so he can finally give me my bike back!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|I grant him one PT Cruiser with blue flames on it.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Alarmed}}
{{TB|Should we really be discussing presents while Santa's in critical condition in the hospital?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Dreamy}}
{{TB|Presents?! I'm not thinking about presents! I'm thinking about pizza. No, cookies. No, milk. No, cheese… }}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
{{TB|Dad, stop saying what you think!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Dreamy}}
{{TB|No, Philadelphia the cream cheese company, no, Philadelphia the city, no "Philadelphia" that Tom Hanks movie I never saw—}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Please stop! Doesn't anyone care that the police aren't even investigating how Santa got attacked?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Nope.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
{{TB|Not really.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|I'm sure he's getting the care he needs.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Santa is a contributing member to our society and culture — and yes, he's a capitalist creation who seamlessly transitioned from an advertising tool to a sanctified myth…BUT he still brings joy to children across the globe!}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|Sweetie, would you like to visit Santa at the hospital and give him a get-well-soon card?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|Yes, and then afterward, I want to figure out who did this to him…and why.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Playful}}
{{TB|While you find out why…I've got a race to nitrous.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Homer Soup Up the Snowmobile|6 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Bart Make a Blueprint of His Waterslide and Pool|6 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Marge Visit Santa|6 seconds|[[Springfield General Hospital]], [[Hibbert Family Practice]], or the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Visit Santa|6 seconds|[[Springfield General Hospital]], [[Hibbert Family Practice]], or the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/Holiday Whodunnit}}

@@ Line 24: / Line 24: @@
 {{TB|By the bullies?!}}
 {{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
-{{TB|No one knows, but he's pretty messed up. So I guess no gifts from Santa this year…}}
+{{TB|No one knows, but he's pretty messed up. So I guess no gifts from Santa this year...}}
 {{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
 {{TB|Well, I wasn't expecting much anyway. My dad just got fired from that beef bowl place for over-beefing the bowls.}}
@@ Line 30: / Line 30: @@
 {{TB|{{*}}eating beef bowl{{*}} If you don't skimp the customer, you skimp yourself.}}
 {{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
-{{TB|Well, I guess Santa getting attacked could be good then…maybe my dad can audition to replace him?}}
+{{TB|Well, I guess Santa getting attacked could be good then...maybe my dad can audition to replace him?}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
 {{TB|Not if I beat him to it. I just upgraded my snowmobile and gave it "Fast and the Furious"-grade nitrous.}}
@@ Line 48: / Line 48: @@
 {{TB|Should we really be discussing presents while Santa's in critical condition in the hospital?}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Dreamy}}
-{{TB|Presents?! I'm not thinking about presents! I'm thinking about pizza. No, cookies. No, milk. No, cheese… }}
+{{TB|Presents?! I'm not thinking about presents! I'm thinking about pizza. No, cookies. No, milk. No, cheese... }}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
 {{TB|Dad, stop saying what you think!}}
@@ Line 62: / Line 62: @@
 {{TB|I'm sure he's getting the care he needs.}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|Santa is a contributing member to our society and culture — and yes, he's a capitalist creation who seamlessly transitioned from an advertising tool to a sanctified myth…BUT he still brings joy to children across the globe!}}
+{{TB|Santa is a contributing member to our society and culture — and yes, he's a capitalist creation who seamlessly transitioned from an advertising tool to a sanctified myth...BUT he still brings joy to children across the globe!}}
 {{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
 {{TB|Sweetie, would you like to visit Santa at the hospital and give him a get-well-soon card?}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sneaky}}
-{{TB|Yes, and then afterward, I want to figure out who did this to him…and why.}}
+{{TB|Yes, and then afterward, I want to figure out who did this to him...and why.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Playful}}
-{{TB|While you find out why…I've got a race to nitrous.}}
+{{TB|While you find out why...I've got a race to nitrous.}}
 {{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Homer Soup Up the Snowmobile|6 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Bart Make a Blueprint of His Waterslide and Pool|6 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Marge Visit Santa|6 seconds|[[Springfield General Hospital]], [[Hibbert Family Practice]], or the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Visit Santa|6 seconds|[[Springfield General Hospital]], [[Hibbert Family Practice]], or the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
 {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}

No Crime Like the Present - Revision history

SolarBot: /* Dialogue */ replaced: … → ... (6)

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = No Crime Like the Present |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Holiday Whodunnit}} |requir..."