https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Lisa_the_Boy_Scout%2FQuotes 2026-04-17T14:23:51Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Lisa_the_Boy_Scout/Quotes&diff=1180055&oldid=prev 2022-10-11T13:22:22Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|One Angry Lisa|The King of Nice}} {{qf|{{ap|Ashley|male hacker|Male Ashley}}}} Attention, corporate overlords, we are <a href="/wiki/Pseudo-nonymous" title="Pseudo-nonymous">Pseudo-nonymous</a>, and w...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ}}<br /> {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|One Angry Lisa|The King of Nice}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|{{ap|Ashley|male hacker|Male Ashley}}}} Attention, corporate overlords, we are [[Pseudo-nonymous]], and we have taken over this broadcast. We are the anarchist collective of nameless hacktivists who published the internal emails of Waffle House and brought Home Depot's &quot;Find a store near you&quot; feature to its knees.<br /> {{qf|{{ap|Ashley|female hacker|Female Ashley}}}} Now we have hacked into the Disney Corporation's servers and seized hundreds of hours of never-before-aired footage from the television show ''[[The Simpsons]]''. Stories so ill-conceived, so idiotic that their exposure would destroy the value of the very I.P. itself.<br /> {{qf|Male Ashley}} Until we are paid a ransom of $20 million in Bitcoin, we will air these show-destroying scenes one after another, starting now.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} No, no, it can't be true!<br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} It is true, Carl. There never was a [[Lenny]].<br /> {{qf|Carl}} So Lenny was just a figment of my imagination? I... I made him up?<br /> {{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} Yeah, your psyche created &quot;Lenny&quot; to help you deal with a terrible trauma there.<br /> {{qf|Carl}} What trauma?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Finding out your previous best friend wasn't real. It's kind of a thing with you.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Bart Simpson|Future Bart]]}} Greetings, lamewads from the past! I have come back in time to reveal the events of the future, so that you can amaze the world with your uncannily accurate predictions!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Less yelling, more foretelling.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Future Bart}} Disney buys Fox.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} And then they both go under?!<br /> {{qf|Future Bart}} No, they're both absorbed by Panda Express. Pretty much everything now is Panda Express.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} That makes sense.<br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I get it.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Martin Prince|Reggie]]}} Always with the quitting, this one. I can't do that, Doreen! The police department needs someone inside the school!<br /> {{qf|{{ap|Doreen|Lisa the Boy Scout}}}} So why's it got to be you?<br /> {{qf|Reggie}} Look at me, Didi. I'm the only 36-year-old who can pass for ten!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Male Ashley}} They still haven't paid the ransom. Did they not see the nonsense we just released? How is Martin Prince an adult cop?<br /> {{qf|Female Ashley}} Well, maybe I overestimated how much Disney cares about Lenny.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Female Ashley}} Wait! Why did the voice-changing app switch off?<br /> {{qf|Male Ashley}} Bollocks. I didn't upgrade to the premium edition, and the free trial period ran out, I'm afraid. I am so daft.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Professor Frink]]}} Uh, yes. The day is Sol, uh, 150. I am stranded on [[Mars]]. I suspect my fellow astronauts left me behind on purpose, as from the bathroom I did hear the giggling and the shushing and the &quot;Blast off quick before he's done tinkling.&quot; I have a mere three days of air and water remaining. There is no hope. Unless I glayvenate the hydrogen, flavenize the oxygen, and, yes, yes, poopulate the soil!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Hello. This is Homer Simpson. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize to the great, great, great people of [[Finland]] for what I said. I have done many, many, many, many, many episodes, and in one of those... just one... I mixed you up with [[Norway]]. And I have so, so, so, so, so much love and respect for... I think &quot;Finns&quot; is what you're called. And if I ever... I mean ever... Ever, ever, ever thought that an innocent slip of the tongue is something that an entire nation could get worked up about, I would've kept my mouth shut. And the scary, scary, scary, oh-so-scary lawyers of the giant, giant... I mean giant... So, so giant, scary corporation I work for would not have had to draft this statement. God bless you and all the peoples of South America, for you are a... What? What do you mean I have to record it again? What did I say?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Ned Flanders]]}} That's it. Boys, we're Jewish now.<br /> {{qf|[[Rod Flanders]]}} L'chaim!<br /> {{qf|[[Todd Flanders]]}} To life!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} With this level of sour cream in your blood, your brain is completely starved of oxygen. Consequently, you're a moron.<br /> {{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} A perfect explanation. Succinct and devastating. Infinite stars! Best. Diagnosis. Ev...<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} I know Eddie is [[Ralph]]'s father. Look at the hair. Look at the hair!<br /> {{qf|[[Sarah Wiggum]]}} No, Clancy, I swear to you it's not true.<br /> {{qf|[[Eddie]]}} My son's breath smells like cat food.<br /> {{qf|Sarah Wiggum}} Okay, you got me.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} I did a DNA test. I'm not your son.<br /> {{qf|[[Kirk Van Houten]]}} Luann, how could you?!<br /> {{qf|Milhouse}} I'm not hers either.<br /> {{qf|[[Luann Van Houten]]}} We're not your parents? Oh, thank God!<br /> {{qf|Kirk}} All right.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Groundskeeper Willie]]}} Rake-y, I'm not your real father. And I'm not Scottish, I'm Welsh! Oh, don't turn your back on me.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Oh, Homie. You're awake.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} What happened?<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} You've been in a coma ever since you tried to jump [[Springfield Gorge]].<br /> {{qf|Homer}} How long?<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Two days ago.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Two days? But... I had so many adventures. More than 700.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Those were all coma dreams. None of them ever happened.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} ''[sobs]'' The &quot;B&quot; stories, too? I never had a pet lobster? I never went to space? What about the Halloweens?!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Female Ashley}} Take one more step and I'll blow this I.P. to Magic Kingdom come.<br /> {{qf|FBI Agent}} Go ahead. You've already released all the ''Simpsons'' files. No one cared. The only people still watching that show are football fans who passed out with the TV on.<br /> {{qf|Female Ashley}} I am not talking about ''The Simpsons''. We've hacked into all of Disney. That means ''[[Star Wars]]'', ''[[Marvel]]'', Pixar. We've even got... Nat Geo.<br /> {{qf|FBI Agent}} You monsters.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} While you were gone, your mom and I almost got divorced over something insignificant.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Luckily, your dad apologized.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Yup, I got it down at this point. It's all about the eye contact.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} He knows what works.<br /> <br /> {{Season 34|Q}}</div>

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