Homer vs. Patty and Selma/Quotes - Revision history

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Solar Dragon at 20:16, April 18, 2021

2021-04-18T20:16:33Z

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2018-12-23T10:53:22Z

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SolarBot at 19:36, August 27, 2012

2012-08-27T19:36:00Z

Tipota at 11:11, November 27, 2010

2010-11-27T11:11:50Z

@@ Line 15: / Line 15: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Oh wow, I can't believe my first passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks. You know that movie, ''"Young Frankenstein"''? Scared the hell out of me!
-{{qf|{{ch|Mel Brooks}}}} Umm, thanks.
+{{qf|{{Ch|Mel Brooks}}}} Umm, thanks.
 ----
 {{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey, Homer! How come you've got money to burn? Or singe, anyway?
@@ Line 81: / Line 81: @@
 {{qf|Teacher}} Is something wrong, Mr. Simpson?
 {{qf|Bart}} I don't like wearing tights, ma'am.
-{{qf|Teacher}} But so many of your heroes wear tights: [[Batman]], for example, and... {{w|Ferdinand Magellan|Magellan}}.
+{{qf|Teacher}} But so many of your heroes wear tights: [[Batman]], for example, and... {{W|Ferdinand Magellan|Magellan}}.
 {{qf|Bart}} Look, I don't like this cootie platoon and I never well. I'm out of here, and I'm out of this stupid outfit. ''[struggles to take it off; struggles turn graceful]'' Wait! Joy of movement increasing. Love of dance impossible to resist. ''[the other girls gasp with delight]'' Toes twinkling... look at me, girls! I'm doing ballet... and I love it!
 ----

@@ Line 116: / Line 116: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Lisa}} Hey, Dad. Whatcha doin'?
-−
 {{qf|Homer}} Daddy has very important work to do. He's looking through the want ads to find a part-time job.
 {{qf|Lisa}} Dad, that's a gag paper we got at the carnival.

@@ Line 17: / Line 17: @@
 {{qf|{{ch|Mel Brooks}}}} Umm, thanks.
 ----
-{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey, Homer!  How come you've got money to burn?  Or singe, anyway?
+{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey, Homer! How come you've got money to burn? Or singe, anyway?
 {{qf|Carl}} Yeah, Homer, what's your secret investment?
 {{qf|Homer}} Take a guess.
 {{qf|[[Barney]]}} Uh, pumpkins?
-{{qf|Homer}} ''[pause]'' Yeah, that's right, Barney. This year, I invested in pumpkins.  They've been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they're going to peak right around January. Then, bang! That's when I'll cash in.
+{{qf|Homer}} ''[pause]'' Yeah, that's right, Barney. This year, I invested in pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they're going to peak right around January. Then, bang! That's when I'll cash in.
 ----
-{{qf|Broker}} Homer, you knuckle-beak, I told you a hundred times: you've got to sell your pumpkin futures before Hallowe'en!  Before!
+{{qf|Broker}} Homer, you knuckle-beak, I told you a hundred times: you've got to sell your pumpkin futures before Hallowe'en! Before!
-{{qf|Homer}} All right, let's not panic: I'll make the money back by selling one of my livers.  I can get by with one.
+{{qf|Homer}} All right, let's not panic: I'll make the money back by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
 ----
 {{qf|[[Patty]] & Selma}} Hello, Homer.
 {{qf|Homer}} Marge, we had a deal: your sisters don't come here after 6:00 and I stop eating your lipstick. ''[wipes some off his teeth]''
-{{qf|Marge}} This is a special occasion.  Patty and Selma just got promoted at the [[DMV]]!
+{{qf|Marge}} This is a special occasion. Patty and Selma just got promoted at the [[DMV]]!
 {{qf|Selma}} Yeah, Homer: let your wife have a glimpse of success for once.
-{{qf|Homer}} All right, that's the last straw: time to take out the trash!  But first, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
+{{qf|Homer}} All right, that's the last straw: time to take out the trash! But first, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
 ----
 {{qf|Marge}} I'm sorry: Homer doesn't mean to be rude, he's just a very complicated man.
@@ Line 39: / Line 39: @@
 {{qf|Marge}} I wish you wouldn't put Homer down like that. He may not be a big success like you, but I can always count on him to provide for the family.
 ----
-{{qf|Marge}} Homer!  Homer, wake up! There's still a few minutes till our usual bedtime.
+{{qf|Marge}} Homer! Homer, wake up! There's still a few minutes till our usual bedtime.
 {{qf|Homer}} Oh, my invention! All our money problems could have been...
 {{qf|Marge}} Money problems? Homer, are we in some sort of fiduciary trouble? ''[Homer imagines Marge dressed like a queen]''
@@ Line 46: / Line 46: @@
 {{qf|Marge}} Bart, I told you before, stop gnawing on the drywall.
 ----
-{{qf|Bart}} What a day, eh, Milhouse?  The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them as is my understanding...
+{{qf|Bart}} What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them as is my understanding...
 {{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} It is a gorgeously fabulous day... marvelous, even.
-{{qf|Bart}} So, uh...what's your hurry to get to school?  ''[slows down]''
+{{qf|Bart}} So, uh...what's your hurry to get to school? ''[slows down]''
 {{qf|Milhouse}} Nothing... what's your hurry? ''[slows down more]'' ''[Bart stops walking]'' That's enough, Bart. Fun is fun, but if we're late we're going to get in trouble.
 {{qf|Bart}} You're right, Milhouse: fun is fun. ''[whistles]''
@@ Line 73: / Line 73: @@
 {{qf|[[Ballet teacher|Teacher]]}} All right, girls, today we learn the dance of the Faerie Queens. You can either be a faerie, or a queen. It's wide open.
 :''[Bart groans.]''
-{{qf|Teacher}} Ah!  And what have we here? A young man maybe who thinks he can be the next [[Mikhail Baryshnikov|Baryshnikov]]?
+{{qf|Teacher}} Ah! And what have we here? A young man maybe who thinks he can be the next [[Mikhail Baryshnikov|Baryshnikov]]?
 {{qf|Bart}} I don't want to be the next anything. I'm only taking this stupid class because they made me.
 {{qf|Teacher}} So, he has fire in the belly! But it will take more than bellyfire to be the next Baryshnikov
 {{qf|Bart}} Look, Boris, I think ballet's for sissies.
-{{qf|Teacher}} Ha ha ha!  Ballet is for the strong, the fierce, the determined, but for the sissies, never!  Now, put on this fuchiatard: you are a faerie.
+{{qf|Teacher}} Ha ha ha! Ballet is for the strong, the fierce, the determined, but for the sissies, never! Now, put on this fuchiatard: you are a faerie.
 ----
 {{qf|Teacher}} Is something wrong, Mr. Simpson?
@@ Line 86: / Line 86: @@
 {{qf|Patty}} Hmm... am I wrong, or did it just get fatter in here?
 {{qf|Homer}} Request permission to slink by.
-{{qf|Patty}} Permission pending.  First... light our cigarettes.
+{{qf|Patty}} Permission pending. First... light our cigarettes.
 {{qf|Homer}} But you're already smoking cig -- ''[they stub them and take new ones, clearing their throats]'' You're really pushing it.
 {{qf|Selma}} Come on, Homer: you can't spell "obsequious" without I-O-U.
 {{qf|Homer}} I'll have to trust you on that.
 {{qf|Patty}} Well, Marge was always a good speller... let's ask her.
-{{qf|Homer}} No!  Don't tell Marge. I'll be good, I'll be good! ''[lights their cigarettes, then tries to light the IOU]''
+{{qf|Homer}} No! Don't tell Marge. I'll be good, I'll be good! ''[lights their cigarettes, then tries to light the IOU]''
 {{qf|Patty}} Tut tut tut! Just for that, you have to crawl around on the floor like the dog you are.
 {{qf|Homer}} ''[stammers]'' Yes, ma'am. ''[gets on all fours]'' ''[the twins laugh]''
@@ Line 102: / Line 102: @@
 {{qf|Marge}} What's that paper?
 {{qf|Homer}} What paper? ''[reaches for it]'' ''[it floats up and lands on top of the light]''
-{{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' Homer!  Is this projection accurate?  Did you borrow money from my sisters?
+{{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' Homer! Is this projection accurate? Did you borrow money from my sisters?
 {{qf|Homer}} I don't know, Marge, I can't be expected to keep track of all my wheelings and dealings.
 {{qf|Patty}} He blew all your savings on jack-o'-lanterns.
@@ Line 110: / Line 110: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Bart}} See that? I started to do, like, a little arabesque, but then I just fully went for it and pulled off the demi-entrechat. Not that I'm into that kind of thing... ''[drinks a Tab]''
-{{qf|Teacher}} Bravissimo, Bart!  Next week, class gives its first recital, and you, you will dance the male lead!
+{{qf|Teacher}} Bravissimo, Bart! Next week, class gives its first recital, and you, you will dance the male lead!
 {{qf|Bart}} Dance in front of the whole school? What is it with you and ballet?
 {{qf|Teacher}} I have know you have great conflict, Bart: you love ballet, yet you fear the boys will laugh at you, no?
@@ Line 116: / Line 116: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Lisa}} Hey, Dad. Whatcha doin'?
-−
 {{qf|Homer}} Daddy has very important work to do. He's looking through the want ads to find a part-time job.
 {{qf|Lisa}} Dad, that's a gag paper we got at the carnival.
@@ Line 138: / Line 138: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Stupid driving test at the stupid DMV where stupid Patty and stupid Selma work! Sometimes I think God is teasing me... just like he teased Moses in the desert.
-{{qf|Marge}} Tested, Homer! God tested Moses. And try to be nice to my sisters.  It's very hard on me to have you fighting all the time.
+{{qf|Marge}} Tested, Homer! God tested Moses. And try to be nice to my sisters. It's very hard on me to have you fighting all the time.
 {{qf|Homer}} Oh, OK Marge, I'll get along with them. Then, I will hug some snakes... yes! Then, I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes. Now that's sarcasm.
 ----
 {{qf|Patty}} Well, well, well: look who needs us again to get his chauffeur's license.
 {{qf|Homer}} Look, all I ask is that you be fair.
-{{qf|Patty}} Oh!  Did not adjust side mirror. Minus one point.
+{{qf|Patty}} Oh! Did not adjust side mirror. Minus one point.
 {{qf|Selma}} Failed to check blind spot. Minus two points.
 {{qf|Homer}} You won't be happy until my family thinks I'm a loser, will you?

@@ Line 158: / Line 158: @@
 {{qf|Super}} ''[skeptical]'' Both of them?
 {{qf|Homer}} ''[hacks]'' It's a big country.
-{{qf|Super}} Ladies, I apologize. And you, sir, are worse than {{ch|Hitler}}. ''[she slaps him]''
+{{qf|Super}} Ladies, I apologize. And you, sir, are worse than [[Hitler]]. ''[she slaps him]''
 ----
 {{qf|Patty}} Homer, um... I'm speechless. You just saved our hides.

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart vs. Australia|A Star Is Burns}}
-{{qf|[[Homer]]}} "What the hell are you doing here?"
+{{qf|[[Homer]]}} What the hell are you doing here?
-{{qf|[[Selma]]}} "You came to us in order to be bailed out of your money problems. Now we own you like Siegfried owns Roy."
+{{qf|[[Selma]]}} You came to us in order to be bailed out of your money problems. Now we own you like Siegfried owns Roy.
 ----
-:''After Homer's debt to Patty and Selma has been revealed to Marge, thus revoking the agreement.''
+:''[After Homer's debt to Patty and Selma has been revealed to Marge, thus revoking the agreement.]''
 {{qf|Homer}} "Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags ought to do it!"
-:''Homer tosses Patty and Selma out on the front lawn of the [[742 Evergreen Terrace|Simpsons residence]].''
+:''[Homer tosses Patty and Selma out on the front lawn of the [[742 Evergreen Terrace|Simpsons residence]].]''
 ----
 {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} How's Dad today?
@@ Line 27: / Line 27: @@
 ----
 {{qf|[[Patty]] & Selma}} Hello, Homer.
 {{qf|Homer}} Marge, we had a deal: your sisters don't come here after 6:00 and I stop eating your lipstick. ''[wipes some off his teeth]''
 {{qf|Marge}} This is a special occasion.  Patty and Selma just got promoted at the [[DMV]]!
@@ Line 38: / Line 37: @@
 {{qf|Selma}} When are you going to wake up and smell your husband, Marge?
 {{qf|Patty}} Granted, you got some kids out of him, but when the seed have been planted, you throw away the envelope.
-{{qf|Marge}} I wish you wouldn't put Homer down like that. He may not be a big success like you, but I can always count on him to provide for
+{{qf|Marge}} I wish you wouldn't put Homer down like that. He may not be a big success like you, but I can always count on him to provide for the family.
 ----
 {{qf|Marge}} Homer!  Homer, wake up! There's still a few minutes till our usual bedtime.
@@ Line 51: / Line 49: @@
 {{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} It is a gorgeously fabulous day... marvelous, even.
 {{qf|Bart}} So, uh...what's your hurry to get to school?  ''[slows down]''
-{{qf|Milhouse}} Nothing... what's your hurry? ''[slows down more]'' ''[Bart stops walking]'' That's enough, Bart. Fun is fun, but if we're late we're
+{{qf|Milhouse}} Nothing... what's your hurry? ''[slows down more]'' ''[Bart stops walking]'' That's enough, Bart. Fun is fun, but if we're late we're going to get in trouble.
 {{qf|Bart}} You're right, Milhouse: fun is fun. ''[whistles]''
 ----
@@ Line 77: / Line 73: @@
 {{qf|[[Ballet teacher|Teacher]]}} All right, girls, today we learn the dance of the Faerie Queens. You can either be a faerie, or a queen. It's wide open.
 :''[Bart groans.]''
-{{qf|Teacher}} Ah!  And what have we here? A young man maybe who thinks he can be the next Baryshnikov?
+{{qf|Teacher}} Ah!  And what have we here? A young man maybe who thinks he can be the next [[Mikhail Baryshnikov|Baryshnikov]]?
 {{qf|Bart}} I don't want to be the next anything. I'm only taking this stupid class because they made me.
 {{qf|Teacher}} So, he has fire in the belly! But it will take more than bellyfire to be the next Baryshnikov
@@ Line 85: / Line 81: @@
 {{qf|Teacher}} Is something wrong, Mr. Simpson?
 {{qf|Bart}} I don't like wearing tights, ma'am.
-{{qf|Teacher}} But so many of your heroes wear tights: Batman, for example, and... Magellan.
+{{qf|Teacher}} But so many of your heroes wear tights: [[Batman]], for example, and... {{w|Ferdinand Magellan|Magellan}}.
 {{qf|Bart}} Look, I don't like this cootie platoon and I never well. I'm out of here, and I'm out of this stupid outfit. ''[struggles to take it off; struggles turn graceful]'' Wait! Joy of movement increasing. Love of dance impossible to resist. ''[the other girls gasp with delight]'' Toes twinkling... look at me, girls! I'm doing ballet... and I love it!
 ----
@@ Line 161: / Line 157: @@
 {{qf|Homer}} ''[monotone]'' Yes. ''[coughs]'' I am in flavor country.
 {{qf|Super}} ''[skeptical]'' Both of them?
+{{qf|Homer}} ''[hacks]'' It's a big country.
 {{qf|Super}} Ladies, I apologize. And you, sir, are worse than {{ch|Hitler}}. ''[she slaps him]''
 ----
 {{qf|Patty}} Homer, um... I'm speechless. You just saved our hides.
+{{qf|Homer}} Please, on top of everything else, don't make me picture your hides!
 {{qf|Marge}} That's a wonderful thing you did for my sisters.
 {{qf|Homer}} I didn't do it for them... I did it for you, Marge. I'd kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you...
+{{qf|Marge}} No, Homey. You see? You see, this is the stuff I've been telling you about that you never see!
 {{qf|Patty}} Homer... we're... sorry.
 {{qf|Selma}} If there's anything we can do to make it up...

@@ Line 156: / Line 156: @@
 '''Homer''': [stammers] Yes, ma'am.  [gets on all fours] [the twins laugh]
-Patty: Now say, "I am Homer Simpson, the lowly dog" -- in a dog's voice.
+Patty: Now say, "I am Homer Simpson, the lowly dog"—in a dog's voice.
 Homer: I am Homer Simpson...
@@ Line 240: / Line 240: @@
 Homer: You won't be happy until my family thinks I'm a loser, will you?
-Patty: You are_a loser, Homer...and we're winners.  You gotta learn that.
+Patty: You are a loser, Homer...and we're winners.  You gotta learn that.
 Selma: Ooh, seat belt twisted.  Minus one point.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{TabQ
+{{TabQ}}
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart vs. Australia|A Star Is Burns}}
 '''[[Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': "What the hell are you doing here?"
@@ Line 84: / Line 83: @@
 '''Bart''': You're right, Milhouse: fun is fun.  [whistles]
------
+----
 Principal Skinner: [over PA] Attention, students.  It's time once again to choose a gym class for the coming term so let's all prove how adult we can be by filing to the gym in a calm and orderly manner...even though it's first come, first serve, and the most popular sports fill up fast. [a mass hysteria takes over as everyone rushes to the gym]
@@ Line 290: / Line 289: @@
-{{Season 6 Q}}
+{{Season 6|Q}}