Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card - Revision history

24.59.115.147: /* Social obligations such as delivering a eulogy, attending a friend's community theater production, or building a house for poor people */

2023-07-09T19:51:34Z

‎Social obligations such as delivering a eulogy, attending a friend's community theater production, or building a house for poor people

SolarBot: replaced: ==Excuses Card== → == Excuses Card ==

2020-12-12T20:55:53Z

replaced: ==Excuses Card== → == Excuses Card ==

Mythigator at 06:48, March 14, 2020

2020-03-14T06:48:40Z

71.182.228.118: /* Social obligations such as delivering a eulogy, attending a friend's community theater production, or building a house for poor people */

2016-10-19T14:54:17Z

‎Social obligations such as delivering a eulogy, attending a friend's community theater production, or building a house for poor people

Solar Dragon: -Category:Lists; +Category:Book segments using HotCat

2014-12-15T16:47:16Z

-Category:Lists; +Category:Book segments using HotCat

Wendy Windbag: /* Excuses Card */

2014-03-29T21:09:40Z

‎Excuses Card

Solar Dragon at 23:22, January 2, 2014

2014-01-02T23:22:17Z

SolarBot: Robot: Orphan page, add template

2013-12-06T13:24:26Z

Robot: Orphan page, add template

AleWi: Created page with "thumb '''Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card''' is three portable excuses card by Homer that is inc..."

2013-11-20T14:05:51Z

Created page with "250px|thumb '''Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card''' is three portable excuses card by Homer that is inc..."

New page

[[File:Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card.jpg|250px|thumb]]

'''Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card''' is three portable excuses card by [[Homer]] that is including in ''[[Homer Simpson's Little Book of Laziness]]''.
==Excuses Card==
===Favors such as helping a friend move, watching the neighbor's kids, or reading an associate's screenplay===
#That's not rellay in my wheelhouse.
#I whould, but I'm allergic to (something having to do with the request).
#I've been diagnoseed with ahlitosis.
#I have a herniated ass bone.
#Today is a religious holiday, the feast of the Somnambulant intermission.
#Amazing! My horoscope warned me against doing this very thing!
#I'm supposed to do a favor for the pope that day.
#My boss considers that moonlighting, even if I don't get paid to do it.
#I sprained my uerus.
#Sure, but first my lawyer requires that you sign a form releasing me from all responsibility. He should be in touch with you in a week or two.

===Family duties such as reading a bedtiem story, helping with the dishes, or attending a parent-teacher conference===
#I would gladly do this, but I ahve temporary amnesia. What was the question again?
#I read a report that says successful parents/spouses should never do (whatever the duty is).
#I have the heartbreak of psoriasis.
#It's that time of the month.
#I have a braineurism.
#I'm afraid that's above my pay grade.
#I have iron-poor blood.
#I need to spend some quality time with the dog, and the dog wants to watch TV.
#I believe it takes a village to do that.
#Remember the old adage: If you want something done right, do it yourself!

===Social obligations such as delivering a eulogy, attending a friend's community theater production, or building a house for poor people===
#After that tragic incident that last time, I promised my wife/husband/Self I would never (whatever the requested favoir is) again!
#An old foosball injury is flaring up.
#I just had hangnail surgery.
#I have temporary blindness.
#I already committed to a barn-raising in amish country that day.
#I'm politically opposed to (whatever the request is).
#(Performing the requested task) is against my religion.
#I must wharn you, I have tourrete syndrome, you @$$#O!!%!
#You have mistaken me for my evil twin.
#I'd love to, but in case I don't show up, I'ts because my car broke down.

[[Category:Lists]]

@@ Line 28: / Line 28: @@
 === Social obligations such as delivering a eulogy, attending a friend's community theater production, or building a house for poor people ===
-#After that tragic incident that last time, I promised my wife/husband/Self I would never (whatever the requested favour is) again!
+#After that tragic incident that last time, I promised my wife/husband/Self I would never (whatever the requested favor is) again!
 #An old foosball injury is flaring up.
 #I just had hangnail surgery.

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 '''Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card''' is a set of three cards with excuses that [[Homer]] provides to avoid various obligations. The cards are included in ''[[Homer Simpson's Little Book of Laziness]]'', in a pocket inside the rear cover.
-==Excuses Card==
+== Excuses Card ==
-===Favors such as helping a friend move, watching the neighbor's kids, or reading an associate's screenplay===
+=== Favors such as helping a friend move, watching the neighbor's kids, or reading an associate's screenplay ===
 #That's not really in my wheelhouse.
 #I would, but I'm allergic to (something having to do with the request).
@@ Line 15: / Line 15: @@
 #Sure, but first my lawyer requires that you sign a form releasing me from all responsibility. He should be in touch with you in a week or two.
-===Family duties such as reading a bedtime story, helping with the dishes, or attending a parent-teacher conference===
+=== Family duties such as reading a bedtime story, helping with the dishes, or attending a parent-teacher conference ===
 #I would gladly do this, but I have temporary amnesia. What was the question again?
 #I read a report that says successful parents/spouses should never do (whatever the duty is).
@@ Line 27: / Line 27: @@
 #Remember the old adage: If you want something done right, do it yourself!
-===Social obligations such as delivering a eulogy, attending a friend's community theater production, or building a house for poor people===
+=== Social obligations such as delivering a eulogy, attending a friend's community theater production, or building a house for poor people ===
 #After that tragic incident that last time, I promised my wife/husband/Self I would never (whatever the requested favour is) again!
 #An old foosball injury is flaring up.

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:47, December 15, 2014
Line 39:		Line 39:
	#I'd love to, but in case I don't show up, I'ts because my car broke down.		#I'd love to, but in case I don't show up, I'ts because my car broke down.

−	[[Category:~~Lists~~]]	+	[[Category:Book segments]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:22, January 2, 2014
Line 1:		Line 1:
−	~~{{Orphan\|date=December 2013}}~~
	[[File:Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card.jpg\|250px\|thumb]]		[[File:Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card.jpg\|250px\|thumb]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:24, December 6, 2013
Line 1:		Line 1:
		+	{{Orphan\|date=December 2013}}
	[[File:Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card.jpg\|250px\|thumb]]		[[File:Homer Simpson's Handy Portable Excuses Card.jpg\|250px\|thumb]]

@@ Line 4: / Line 4: @@
 ==Excuses Card==
 ===Favors such as helping a friend move, watching the neighbor's kids, or reading an associate's screenplay===
-#That's not rellay in my wheelhouse.
+#That's not really in my wheelhouse.
-#I whould, but I'm allergic to (something having to do with the request).
+#I would, but I'm allergic to (something having to do with the request).
-#I've been diagnoseed with ahlitosis.
+#I've been diagnosed with halitosis.
 #I have a herniated ass bone.
 #Today is a religious holiday, the feast of the Somnambulant intermission.
@@ Line 12: / Line 12: @@
 #I'm supposed to do a favor for the pope that day.
 #My boss considers that moonlighting, even if I don't get paid to do it.
-#I sprained my uerus.
+#I sprained my uterus.
 #Sure, but first my lawyer requires that you sign a form releasing me from all responsibility. He should be in touch with you in a week or two.
-===Family duties such as reading a bedtiem story, helping with the dishes, or attending a parent-teacher conference===
+===Family duties such as reading a bedtime story, helping with the dishes, or attending a parent-teacher conference===
-#I would gladly do this, but I ahve temporary amnesia. What was the question again?
+#I would gladly do this, but I have temporary amnesia. What was the question again?
 #I read a report that says successful parents/spouses should never do (whatever the duty is).
 #I have the heartbreak of psoriasis.
@@ Line 35: / Line 35: @@
 #I'm politically opposed to (whatever the request is).
 #(Performing the requested task) is against my religion.
-#I must wharn you, I have tourrete syndrome, you @$$#O!!%!
+#I must warn you, I have tourette's syndrome, you @$$#O!!%!
 #You have mistaken me for my evil twin.
 #I'd love to, but in case I don't show up, I'ts because my car broke down.
 [[Category:Lists]]