Homer Loves Flanders/Quotes - Revision history

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{{TabQ
|episode=Homer Loves Flanders
}}
:'''Lisa''': Dad and Ned Flanders friends? Hah! What's next? A's on Bart's report card?
(She, Marge and Bart laugh together)
:'''Bart''': (Stops laughing) Hey!
----
:'''Marge''': Homey, I'm very proud of you, but don't you think you're spending too much time with Ned? Your family needs you too.
:'''Homer''': Oh, of course you'd say something like that, Marge. You've hated Ned for years! In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe.
:'''Marge''': That was you!
:'''Homer''': Love, Marge. Don't hate... love.
----
:'''Marge''': Honey, I'm so glad you're ho--
:'''Homer''': Can't talk, seeing Flanders. Later, sex.
----
:'''Homer''': Ned, since you've let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. (they go to Moe's) Hey, everyone.
:'''Barney''': Hey.
:'''Homer''': I'd like to introduce Ned Flanders, my best friend.
:'''Moe''': Hey, I don't want no one in here with their "evils of alcohol" rap.
:'''Ned''': Wait a second: you're the man at the hospital who reads to sick children.
:'''Moe''': (grabs Ned) If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt.
----
(Homer throws a picture into the garbage)
:'''Marge''': Homer, that's our wedding photo!
:'''Homer''': Marge, quit living in the past.
----
:'''Homer''': If anyone can pull it off, it's Stan "The Boy" Taylor.
:'''Crowd''': Stan, Stan, he's our boy, If he can't do it, no one… will.
----
:'''Homer''': Well, I guess I should pay my share.
:'''Ned''': Relax, Homer. I keep telling you, you're my guest.
:'''Homer''': Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned (singing) Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man…
----
:'''Mr. Burns''': Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
:'''Milhouse''': (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.
----
:'''Marty''': Oh, we have a winner! What's your name, sir?
:'''Ned''': Ned Flanders!
:'''Homer''': Oh, not Flanders, anybody but Flanders…
:'''Ned''': Well, golly, if that doesn't put the "shaz" in "shazam." Oh, listen: what's the cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income tax?
----
:'''Football Fan''': Give me, er, 30,000 tickets.
:'''Ticket Lady''': That'll be $950,000 please.
:'''Football Fan''': Look, the thing about that is, I only got $10 on me. Can I pay you the rest later?
:'''Ticket Lady''': Sure.
----
:'''Bart''': Hey Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks…
:'''Homer''': Woo hoo! Sold. (Bart takes the money and runs off)
:'''Marge''': Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer.
:'''Homer''': What do you mean? It says right here: "Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center". Why you little.
----
:'''Homer''': (recieves a football) Wow! Thanks. Now I have four children You will be called "stitch face."
----
:'''Kent Brockman''': Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.
----
:'''Grampa''': Let's sacrifice him to our god! Come on, we did it all the time in the thirties.
----
:'''Homer''': I'd like to propose a toast to the coming together of the Simpsons and the Flanders. If this were a more perfect world, we'd all be known as the Flimpsons.
----
:'''Lisa''': Don't worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make the occasional smart-alec quip, and by next week we'll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.
:'''Bart''': Ay, caramba!
:'''Lisa''': That's the spirit.
----
:'''Homer''': They don't call me "Springfield Fats" just because I'm morbidly obese!
----
:'''Ned''': Oh, I guess it's time for me to duck again.
:'''Homer''': No! I want everyone to know that-- (yelling out window) --this is Ned Flanders, my friend!
:'''Lenny''': What'd he say?
:'''Carl''': I dunno. Something about being gay.
----
:'''Lisa''': What's so special about this game anyway? It's just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world's largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.
:'''Homer''': Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, they swore they'd get us back by spiking our water supply. But they didn't have the guts.
:'''Marge''': (drinks the tap water) Ooooh. The walls are melting again.
----
:'''Homer''': Why am I such a loser? Why?
:'''Bart''': Well, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father ... it's genetic, man. D'oh!
----
:'''Homer''': (chuckling) I did it! Second in line, and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.
:'''Man''': With the money you would have made working, you could have bought tickets from a scalper.
:'''Homer''': In theory, yes. … Jerk.
----
:'''Lenny''': Hey, look! Homer's got one of those robot cars.
(Crash)
:'''Carl''': One of those American robot cars.
----
:'''Ned''': Homer, I'd love to chitty-chat, but tonight's the night I do my charity work.
:'''Homer''': Oh yeah. The judge made me do that once too. Stupid lack of public urinals.
----
:'''Kent Brockman''': Springfield has come down with a fever . . . Football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.
:'''TV Voiceover''': Warning, tickets should not be taken internally.
:'''Homer''': See, because of me, now they have a warning.
----
:'''Homer''': Marge, I think I hate Ted Koppel. No, wait. I find him informative and witty.
----
:'''Bart''': It's okay. There's no sugar in Pixie sticks.
----
:'''Marge''': Homer! Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and steal his tickets?
:'''Homer''': Ye…no.
:'''Ned''': (answers door) Huh? (Homer ges ready to hit him, but changes his mind)
:'''Homer''': Oh. Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game with you.
:'''Ned''': Well, get out the Crayolas and color me "Tickled Pink". Ooh, what's with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a flogging?
:'''Homer''': Well, yeah.
(they both laugh)
----
:'''Homer''': Why do you mock me, O Lord?
:'''Marge''': Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (She scrapes it down with a broom.)
:'''Homer''': I know I shouldn't eat thee, but--(Eats waffle)--Mmm... sacrilicious.
----
:'''Maude''': Come on, Ned! Move this thing!
:'''Ned''': I can't! It's a Geo!

{{Season 5 Q}}

@@ Line 26: / Line 26: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} If anyone can pull it off, it's [[Stan Taylor|Stan "The Boy" Taylor]].
-{{qf|Crowd}} Stan, Stan, he's our boy, If he can't do it, no one… will.
+{{qf|Crowd}} Stan, Stan, he's our boy, If he can't do it, no one... will.
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Well, I guess I should pay my share.
 {{qf|Ned}} Relax, Homer. I keep telling you, you're my guest.
-{{qf|Homer}} Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned (singing) Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man…
+{{qf|Homer}} Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned (singing) Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man...
 ----
 {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
@@ Line 37: / Line 37: @@
 {{qf|[[Marty]]}} Oh, we have a winner! What's your name, sir?
 {{qf|Ned}} Ned Flanders!
-{{qf|Homer}} Oh, not Flanders, anybody but Flanders…
+{{qf|Homer}} Oh, not Flanders, anybody but Flanders...
 {{qf|Ned}} Well, golly, if that doesn't put the "shaz" in "shazam." Oh, listen: what's the cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income tax?
 ----
@@ Line 45: / Line 45: @@
 {{qf|Ticket Lady}} Sure.
 ----
-{{qf|Bart}} Hey Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks…
+{{qf|Bart}} Hey Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks...
 {{qf|Homer}} Woo hoo! Sold. ''[Bart takes the money and runs off]''
 {{qf|Marge}} Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer.
@@ Line 74: / Line 74: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Why am I such a loser? Why?
-{{qf|Bart}} Well, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father ... it's genetic, man. (''thinks for a second'') D'oh!
+{{qf|Bart}} Well, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father... it's genetic, man. (''thinks for a second'') D'oh!
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} (chuckling) I did it! Second in line, and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.
 {{qf|Man}} With the money you would have made working, you could have bought tickets from a scalper.
-{{qf|Homer}} In theory, yes. … Jerk.
+{{qf|Homer}} In theory, yes.... Jerk.
 ----
 {{qf|Lenny}} Hey, look! Homer's got one of those robot cars.
@@ Line 96: / Line 96: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Marge}} Homer! Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and steal his tickets?
-{{qf|Homer}} Ye…no.
+{{qf|Homer}} Ye...no.
 {{qf|Ned}} ''[answers door]'' Huh? ''[Homer gets ready to hit him, but changes his mind]''
 {{qf|Homer}} Oh. Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game with you.
@@ Line 105: / Line 105: @@
 {{qf|Homer}} Why do you mock me, O Lord?
 {{qf|Marge}} Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. ''[she scrapes it down with a broom]''
-{{qf|Homer}} I know I shouldn't eat thee, but-- ''[eats waffle]'' --Mmm... sacrilicious.
+{{qf|Homer}} I know I shouldn't eat thee, but-- ''[eats waffle]''—Mmm... sacrilicious.
 ----
 {{qf|Maude}} Come on, Ned! Move this thing!

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{TabQ
+{{TabQ}}
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Deep Space Homer|Bart Gets an Elephant}}
@@ Line 112: / Line 110: @@
 :'''Ned''': I can't! It's a Geo!
-{{Season 5 Q}}
+{{Season 5|Q}}

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Deep Space Homer|Bart Gets an Elephant}}
-:'''Lisa''': Dad and Ned Flanders friends? Hah! What's next? A's on Bart's report card?
+:'''[[Lisa]]''': Dad and Ned Flanders friends? Hah! What's next? A's on Bart's report card?
-:(''She, Marge and Bart laugh together'')
+:''[She, Marge and Bart laugh together]''
-:'''Bart''': (Stops laughing) Hey!
+:'''[[Bart]]''': ''(stops laughing)'' Hey!
 ----
-:'''Marge''': Homey, I'm very proud of you, but don't you think you're spending too much time with Ned? Your family needs you too.
+:'''[[Marge]]''': Homey, I'm very proud of you, but don't you think you're spending too much time with Ned? Your family needs you too.
-:'''Homer''': Oh, of course you'd say something like that, Marge. You've hated Ned for years! In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe.
+:'''[[Homer]]''': Oh, of course you'd say something like that, Marge. You've hated Ned for years! In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe.
 :'''Marge''': That was you!
 :'''Homer''': Love, Marge. Don't hate... love.
@@ Line 14: / Line 14: @@
 :'''Homer''': Can't talk, seeing Flanders. Later, sex.
 ----
-:'''Homer''': Ned, since you've let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. (they go to Moe's) Hey, everyone.
+:'''Homer''': Ned, since you've let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. ''(they go to [[Moe's]]'') Hey, everyone.
-:'''Barney''': Hey.
+:'''[[Barney]]''': Hey.
 :'''Homer''': I'd like to introduce Ned Flanders, my best friend.
 :'''Moe''': Hey, I don't want no one in here with their "evils of alcohol" rap.
-:'''Ned''': Wait a second: you're the man at the hospital who reads to sick children.
+:'''[[Ned]]''': Wait a second: you're the man at the hospital who reads to sick children.
-:'''Moe''': (grabs Ned) If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt.
+:'''[[Moe]]''': ''(grabs Ned)'' If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt.
 ----
-:(''Homer throws a picture into the garbage'')
+:''[Homer throws a picture into the garbage]''
 :'''Marge''': Homer, that's our wedding photo!
 :'''Homer''': Marge, quit living in the past.
 ----
-:'''Homer''': If anyone can pull it off, it's Stan "The Boy" Taylor.
+:'''Homer''': If anyone can pull it off, it's [[Stan Taylor|Stan "The Boy" Taylor]].
 :'''Crowd''': Stan, Stan, he's our boy, If he can't do it, no one… will.
 ----
@@ Line 32: / Line 32: @@
 :'''Homer''': Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned (singing) Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man…
 ----
-:'''Mr. Burns''': Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
+:'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
-:'''Milhouse''': (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.
+:'''[[Milhouse]]''': ''(to his mom and dad)'' I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.
 ----
-:'''Marty''': Oh, we have a winner! What's your name, sir?
+:'''[[Marty]]''': Oh, we have a winner! What's your name, sir?
 :'''Ned''': Ned Flanders!
 :'''Homer''': Oh, not Flanders, anybody but Flanders…
 :'''Ned''': Well, golly, if that doesn't put the "shaz" in "shazam." Oh, listen: what's the cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income tax?
 ----
-:'''Football Fan''': Give me, er, 30,000 tickets.
+:'''[["Just stamp the ticket" man|Football Fan]]''': Give me, er, 30,000 tickets.
 :'''Ticket Lady''': That'll be $950,000 please.
 :'''Football Fan''': Look, the thing about that is, I only got $10 on me. Can I pay you the rest later?
 :'''Ticket Lady''': Sure.
 ----
-:'''Bart''': Hey Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks…
+:'''[[Bart]]''': Hey Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks…
-:'''Homer''': Woo hoo! Sold. (Bart takes the money and runs off)
+:'''Homer''': Woo hoo! Sold. ''(Bart takes the money and runs off)''
 :'''Marge''': Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer.
 :'''Homer''': What do you mean? It says right here: "Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center". Why you little.
 ----
-:'''Homer''': (receives a football) Wow! Thanks. Now I have four children You will be called "stitch face."
+:'''Homer''': ''(receives a football)'' Wow! Thanks. Now I have four children You will be called "stitch face."
 ----
-:'''Kent Brockman''': Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.
+:'''[[Kent Brockman]]''': Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.
 ----
-:'''Grampa''': Let's sacrifice him to our god! Come on, we did it all the time in the thirties.
+:'''[[Grampa]]''': Let's sacrifice him to our god! Come on, we did it all the time in the thirties.
 ----
 :'''Homer''': I'd like to propose a toast to the coming together of the Simpsons and the Flanders. If this were a more perfect world, we'd all be known as the Flimpsons.
 ----
-:'''Lisa''': Don't worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make the occasional smart-alec quip, and by next week we'll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.
+:'''[[Lisa]]''': Don't worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make the occasional smart-alec quip, and by next week we'll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.
 :'''Bart''': Ay, caramba!
 :'''Lisa''': That's the spirit.
@@ Line 66: / Line 66: @@
 :'''Ned''': Oh, I guess it's time for me to duck again.
 :'''Homer''': No! I want everyone to know that-- (yelling out window) --this is Ned Flanders, my friend!
-:'''Lenny''': What'd he say?
+:'''[[Lenny]]''': What'd he say?
-:'''Carl''': I dunno. Something about being gay.
+:'''[[Carl]]''': I dunno. Something about being gay.
 ----
 :'''Lisa''': What's so special about this game anyway? It's just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world's largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.
@@ Line 81: / Line 81: @@
 ----
 :'''Lenny''': Hey, look! Homer's got one of those robot cars.
-:(''Crash'')
+:''[Crash.]''
 :'''Carl''': One of those American robot cars.
 ----
@@ Line 87: / Line 87: @@
 :'''Homer''': Oh yeah. The judge made me do that once too. Stupid lack of public urinals.
 ----
-:'''Kent Brockman''': Springfield has come down with a fever . . . Football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.
+:'''Kent Brockman''': Springfield has come down with a fever... Football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.
 :'''TV Voiceover''': Warning, tickets should not be taken internally.
 :'''Homer''': See, because of me, now they have a warning.
 ----
-:'''Homer''': Marge, I think I hate Ted Koppel. No, wait. I find him informative and witty.
+:'''Homer''': Marge, I think I hate [[Ted Koppel]]. No, wait. I find him informative and witty.
 ----
 :'''Bart''': It's okay. There's no sugar in Pixie sticks.
@@ Line 97: / Line 97: @@
 :'''Marge''': Homer! Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and steal his tickets?
 :'''Homer''': Ye…no.
-:'''Ned''': (answers door) Huh? (Homer ges ready to hit him, but changes his mind)
+:'''Ned''': ''(answers door)'' Huh? ''(Homer gets ready to hit him, but changes his mind)''
 :'''Homer''': Oh. Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game with you.
 :'''Ned''': Well, get out the Crayolas and color me "Tickled Pink". Ooh, what's with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a flogging?
 :'''Homer''': Well, yeah.
-:(''they both laugh'')
+:''[They both laugh.]''
 ----
 :'''Homer''': Why do you mock me, O Lord?
-:'''Marge''': Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (She scrapes it down with a broom.)
+:'''Marge''': Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. ''(she scrapes it down with a broom)''
-:'''Homer''': I know I shouldn't eat thee, but--(Eats waffle)--Mmm... sacrilicious.
+:'''Homer''': I know I shouldn't eat thee, but-- ''(eats waffle)'' --Mmm... sacrilicious.
 ----
 :'''Maude''': Come on, Ned! Move this thing!