Homer's Paternity Coot/Quotes - Revision history

SolarBot: /* top */replaced: Moleman → Moleman

2022-03-15T16:16:48Z

‎top: replaced: Moleman → Moleman

SolarBot: /* top */re-categorisation per CFD, replaced: Grandpa → Grampa (5)

2022-03-13T14:05:06Z

‎top: re-categorisation per CFD, replaced: Grandpa → Grampa (5)

SolarBot: /* top */replaced: {{w| → {{W|

2021-10-16T00:14:31Z

‎top: replaced: {{w| → {{W|

2F13: formatting, linking

2019-11-17T09:32:15Z

formatting, linking

Abbot: Bot: changing parenthesis to bracket, formatting, applying template Qf, deleting empty lines (code: quotes)

2019-11-17T09:27:53Z

Bot: changing parenthesis to bracket, formatting, applying template Qf, deleting empty lines (code: quotes)

SolarBot at 11:15, September 1, 2012

2012-09-01T11:15:01Z

Nick97 at 21:25, August 22, 2012

2012-08-22T21:25:55Z

SolarBot: replaced: Simpson Christmas Stories → Simpsons Christmas Stories

2012-07-28T19:40:54Z

replaced: Simpson Christmas Stories → Simpsons Christmas Stories

DaRanger at 21:09, January 22, 2012

2012-01-22T21:09:59Z

Brian McClure: Fixes, typos fixed: dont → don't

2010-12-24T02:00:16Z

Fixes, typos fixed: dont → don't

@@ Line 19: / Line 19: @@
 {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Let's go there before the next commercial tells me to do something else.
 ----
-{{qf|Homer}} Who could my father be? [[Hans Moleman|Moleman]]? [[Mr. Burns]]? ''[gasps]'' {{W|M. Night Shyamalan}}? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/coot7.mp3 audio clip]''
+{{qf|Homer}} Who could my father be? [[Moleman]]? [[Mr. Burns]]? ''[gasps]'' {{W|M. Night Shyamalan}}? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/coot7.mp3 audio clip]''
 ----
 {{qf|[[Ralph]]}} ''[with a tuba on his head]'' I'm C3-D2!

@@ Line 38: / Line 38: @@
 {{qf|Lovejoy}} Oh, be cool for once.
 ----
-:''[Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are at the retirement home visiting Grandpa.]''
+:''[Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are at the retirement home visiting Grampa.]''
-{{qf|Marge}} See, Grandpa, you still have a family. We still visit you even though we have no biological obligation.
+{{qf|Marge}} See, Grampa, you still have a family. We still visit you even though we have no biological obligation.
-{{qf|[[Grandpa]]}} So, Homer couldn't make it?
+{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} So, Homer couldn't make it?
 {{qf|Lisa}} No, but he told us to say hi. Hi!
 :''[Long pause.]''
 {{qf|Lisa}} So...what setting is that fan on?
 :''[Pause.]''
-{{qf|Grandpa}} Medium.
+{{qf|Grampa}} Medium.
 :''[Pause.]''
 {{qf|Lisa}} I would've guessed low.
 :''[Pause.]''
-{{qf|Grandpa}} You would've guessed wrong.
+{{qf|Grampa}} You would've guessed wrong.
 {{Season 17|Q}}

@@ Line 19: / Line 19: @@
 {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Let's go there before the next commercial tells me to do something else.
 ----
-{{qf|Homer}} Who could my father be? [[Hans Moleman|Moleman]]? [[Mr. Burns]]? ''[gasps]'' {{w|M. Night Shyamalan}}? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/coot7.mp3 audio clip]''
+{{qf|Homer}} Who could my father be? [[Hans Moleman|Moleman]]? [[Mr. Burns]]? ''[gasps]'' {{W|M. Night Shyamalan}}? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/coot7.mp3 audio clip]''
 ----
 {{qf|[[Ralph]]}} ''[with a tuba on his head]'' I'm C3-D2!

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{TabQ}}
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Simpsons Christmas Stories|We're on the Road to D'ohwhere}}
 {{qf|Commercial}} How often have you driven by a fire and thought 'How can this benefit me?'
 ----
-{{qf|Homer}} To hell with that paternity test and its 99.99997% accuracy!
+{{qf|[[Homer]]}} To hell with that paternity test and its 99.99997% accuracy!
 ----
-{{qf|Sideshow Mel}} ''[after his tires are ripped]'' My tires have been severely damaged! The prophecy has been fulfilled! ''[pointing to sign that reads "Do Not Back Up - Severe Tire Damage"]''
+{{qf|[[Sideshow Mel]]}} ''[after his tires are ripped]'' My tires have been severely damaged! The prophecy has been fulfilled! ''[pointing to sign that reads "Do Not Back Up - Severe Tire Damage"]''
 ----
 {{qf|Sign}} [[Springfield]] Tire Fire. Now smelled in 46 states.
 ----
-{{qf|Quimby}} People aren't taking the tollbooth! We need those seventy-five centses to de-python the town fountain! Get them through that tollbooth by any means necessary!
+{{qf|[[Quimby]]}} People aren't taking the tollbooth! We need those seventy-five centses to de-python the town fountain! Get them through that tollbooth by any means necessary!
-{{qf|Wiggum}} Gotcha. No survivors. ''[gets out a shotgun and cocks it]''
+{{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} Gotcha. No survivors. ''[gets out a shotgun and cocks it]''
 {{qf|Quimby}} No Shooting.
 {{qf|Wiggum}} But it's already cocked.
 {{qf|Quimby}} Okay. Shoot into the fireplace.
-:''[Wiggum does so and laughs]''
+:''[Wiggum does so and laughs.]''
 ----
-{{qf|Marge}} Let's go there before the next commercial tells me to do something else.
+{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Let's go there before the next commercial tells me to do something else.
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Who could my father be? [[Hans Moleman|Moleman]]? [[Mr. Burns]]? ''[gasps]'' {{w|M. Night Shyamalan}}? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/coot7.mp3 audio clip]''
 ----
-{{qf|Ralph}} ''[with a tuba on his head]'' I'm C3-D2!
+{{qf|[[Ralph]]}} ''[with a tuba on his head]'' I'm C3-D2!
 ----
-{{qf|Homer}} ''[Looking around Mason's study, which is decorated with various adventurer's items]'' So, I infer from all the knickknacks you're some sort of..fruitcake?
+{{qf|Homer}} ''[looking around Mason's study, which is decorated with various adventurer's items]'' So, I infer from all the knickknacks you're some sort of..fruitcake?
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} I'm sure my listeners will be pleased about that.
-{{qf|Mason}} Listeners? Didn't you say you work for a newspaper?
+{{qf|[[Mason Fairbanks|Mason]]}} Listeners? Didn't you say you work for a newspaper?
 {{qf|Homer}} Uh, no I didn't. I says I work for a radio station. WXI 940. Number one with our viewers.
 {{qf|Mason}} Viewers? Wouldn't that be a TV show?
@@ Line 35: / Line 34: @@
 {{qf|Marge}} Lisa, I'm not sure that letter is age-appropriate reading. Why can't the government edit our mail like other countries?
 ----
-:'''Reverend Lovejoy''' ''[heading for the toll booth]'' Don't worry, this one's on [[Jesus]].
+{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} ''[heading for the toll booth]'' Don't worry, this one's on [[Jesus]].
+:''[He takes out the church collection plate which is full of coins. The Jesus figurine on his dashboard looks as if it's about to cry.]''
 {{qf|Lovejoy}} Oh, be cool for once.
 ----
-:''[Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are at the retirement home visiting Grandpa]''
+:''[Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are at the retirement home visiting Grandpa.]''
 {{qf|Marge}} See, Grandpa, you still have a family. We still visit you even though we have no biological obligation.
-{{qf|Grandpa}} So, Homer couldn't make it?
+{{qf|[[Grandpa]]}} So, Homer couldn't make it?
 {{qf|Lisa}} No, but he told us to say hi. Hi!
-:''[long pause]''
+:''[Long pause.]''
 {{qf|Lisa}} So...what setting is that fan on?
-:''[pause]''
+:''[Pause.]''
 {{qf|Grandpa}} Medium.
-:''[pause]''
+:''[Pause.]''
 {{qf|Lisa}} I would've guessed low.
-:''[pause]''
+:''[Pause.]''
 {{qf|Grandpa}} You would've guessed wrong.
 {{Season 17|Q}}

@@ Line 3: / Line 3: @@
 {{Cleanup}}
-'''Commercial:''' How often have you driven by a fire and thought 'How can this benefit me?'
+{{qf|Commercial}} How often have you driven by a fire and thought 'How can this benefit me?'
 ----
-'''Homer:''' To hell with that paternity test and its 99.99997% accuracy!
+{{qf|Homer}} To hell with that paternity test and its 99.99997% accuracy!
 ----
-'''Sideshow Mel:''' ''(after his tires are ripped)'' My tires have been severely damaged! The prophecy has been fulfilled! ''(pointing to sign that reads "Do Not Back Up - Severe Tire Damage")''
+{{qf|Sideshow Mel}} ''[after his tires are ripped]'' My tires have been severely damaged! The prophecy has been fulfilled! ''[pointing to sign that reads "Do Not Back Up - Severe Tire Damage"]''
 ----
-'''Sign:''' [[Springfield]] Tire Fire. Now smelled in 46 states.
+{{qf|Sign}} [[Springfield]] Tire Fire. Now smelled in 46 states.
 ----
-'''Quimby:''' People aren't taking the tollbooth! We need those seventy-five centses to de-python the town fountain! Get them through that tollbooth by any means necessary!
+{{qf|Quimby}} People aren't taking the tollbooth! We need those seventy-five centses to de-python the town fountain! Get them through that tollbooth by any means necessary!
+{{qf|Wiggum}} Gotcha. No survivors. ''[gets out a shotgun and cocks it]''
-'''Wiggum:''' Gotcha. No survivors. ''(gets out a shotgun and cocks it)''
+{{qf|Quimby}} No Shooting.
+{{qf|Wiggum}} But it's already cocked.
-'''Quimby:''' No Shooting.
+{{qf|Quimby}} Okay. Shoot into the fireplace.
+:''[Wiggum does so and laughs]''
 ----
-'''Marge:''' Let's go there before the next commercial tells me to do something else.
+{{qf|Marge}} Let's go there before the next commercial tells me to do something else.
 ----
-'''Homer:''' Who could my father be? [[Hans Moleman|Moleman]]? [[Mr. Burns]]? ''(gasps)'' {{w|M. Night Shyamalan}}? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/coot7.mp3 audio clip]
+{{qf|Homer}} Who could my father be? [[Hans Moleman|Moleman]]? [[Mr. Burns]]? ''[gasps]'' {{w|M. Night Shyamalan}}? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/coot7.mp3 audio clip]''
 ----
-'''Ralph:''' ''(with a tuba on his head)'' I'm C3-D2!
+{{qf|Ralph}} ''[with a tuba on his head]'' I'm C3-D2!
 ----
-'''Homer:''' ''(Looking around Mason's study, which is decorated with various adventurer's items)'' So, I infer from all the knickknacks you're some sort of..fruitcake?
+{{qf|Homer}} ''[Looking around Mason's study, which is decorated with various adventurer's items]'' So, I infer from all the knickknacks you're some sort of..fruitcake?
 ----
-'''Homer:''' I'm sure my listeners will be pleased about that.
+{{qf|Homer}} I'm sure my listeners will be pleased about that.
+{{qf|Mason}} Listeners? Didn't you say you work for a newspaper?
-'''Mason:''' Listeners? Didn't you say you work for a newspaper?
+{{qf|Homer}} Uh, no I didn't. I says I work for a radio station. WXI 940. Number one with our viewers.
+{{qf|Mason}} Viewers? Wouldn't that be a TV show?
-'''Homer:''' Uh, no I didn't. I says I work for a radio station. WXI 940. Number one with our viewers.
+{{qf|Homer}} Uh, well, um, oh what the hey. I think you're my pappy!
+{{qf|Mason}} Ga-whaaa?!
 ----
-'''Marge:''' Lisa, I'm not sure that letter is age-appropriate reading. Why can't the government edit our mail like other countries?
+{{qf|Marge}} Lisa, I'm not sure that letter is age-appropriate reading. Why can't the government edit our mail like other countries?
 ----
-'''Reverend Lovejoy''' ''(heading for the toll booth)'' Don't worry, this one's on [[Jesus]].
+:'''Reverend Lovejoy''' ''[heading for the toll booth]'' Don't worry, this one's on [[Jesus]].
 ----
-''(Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are at the retirement home visiting Grandpa)''
+:''[Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are at the retirement home visiting Grandpa]''
+{{qf|Marge}} See, Grandpa, you still have a family. We still visit you even though we have no biological obligation.
-'''Marge:''' See, Grandpa, you still have a family. We still visit you even though we have no biological obligation.
+{{qf|Grandpa}} So, Homer couldn't make it?
+{{qf|Lisa}} No, but he told us to say hi. Hi!
-'''Grandpa:''' So, Homer couldn't make it?
+:''[long pause]''
+{{qf|Lisa}} So...what setting is that fan on?
-'''Lisa:''' No, but he told us to say hi. Hi!
+:''[pause]''
+{{qf|Grandpa}} Medium.
-''(long pause)''
+:''[pause]''
+{{qf|Lisa}} I would've guessed low.
-'''Lisa:''' So...what setting is that fan on?
+:''[pause]''
+{{qf|Grandpa}} You would've guessed wrong.
 ----
 {{Season 17|Q}}

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 |episode = Homer's Paternity Coot
 }}
-{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Simpson Christmas Stories|We're on the Road to D'ohwhere}}
+{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Simpsons Christmas Stories|We're on the Road to D'ohwhere}}
 == Quotes ==
 *'''Bart''': You've said that three times already.