Hobo You Didn't! - Revision history

Solar Dragon at 20:34, April 19, 2025

2025-04-19T20:34:08Z

SolarBot: replaced: … → ... (8), “ → " (4), ” → " (4), replaced: →

2024-05-30T17:01:49Z

replaced: … → ... (8), “ → " (4), ” → " (4), replaced: →

Solar Dragon at 16:42, May 30, 2024

2024-05-30T16:42:24Z

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Hobo You Didn't! |image = |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Level 42}} |requirements = |characters = Lampwick, Lisa |optional = |previous = {{..."

2024-05-30T16:42:12Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Hobo You Didn't! |image = |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Level 42}} |requirements = |characters = Lampwick, Lisa |optional = |previous = {{..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = Hobo You Didn't!
|image =
|level = 15
|update = {{TOCU|Level 42}}
|requirements =
|characters = [[Lampwick]], [[Lisa]]
|optional =
|previous = {{TOQP|Bindle There, Done That|5}}
|next =
|premium = yes
}}

'''Hobo You Didn't!''' is a premium questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Level 42}} content update. It requires [[Lampwick]] to be obtained.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Lampwick's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Someone paid good money just to torture me with poverty?}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Well, I know who it must be! Only one soul has ever been so hate-fueled, bile-filled, and vile-stuffed.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|That secret Midget [[Little Vicki]]!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|Little Vicki Valentine, Hollywood's little princess?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|The talented star of sixty-one films and TV shows, and countless Broadway plays because the internet won't count them for me?}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|That's the flapper.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|In 1963, I crashed some snooty awards party. All I wanted was a shrimp cocktail. So I get in line for one, right behind Little Vicki.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|As we get to the front, I notice there are only two glasses of shrimp left.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Just as I'm about to get mine, Little Vicki takes them both! Says one's for a friend.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|If your friend wants an s-cocktail, your friend should wait in line for an s-cocktail!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|A haughty sheba who snatches shrimp out of the little guys' mouths, those people are the true scum of the earth.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|I've got to warn Springfield. For evil has arrived.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lampwick Rant About Little Vicki|8 hours|a [[Gazebo]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Guard your shrimp! Little Vicki may walk among you!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Lampwick's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|I think I finally figured out why I'm back in Springfield, little girl. It's not for money or respect. It's for…}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|REVENGE!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Deadpan}}
{{TB|Mr. Lampwick, I'm still not sure your crusade against Little Vicki is the best pursuit.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|She's one of America's finest actresses, and the first ever winner of the Kiddie Academy Awards!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|I know all about her award record. If you ask me, she lied about her age!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|She kept saying, “I'm the youngest actress to ever win an award, and now I am about to get my star on the [[Hollywood Walk of Fame]]!”}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Ever check her teeth? Never once did her fake baby teeth ever fall out!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Or that curly hair of hers… a wig, I tell ya! She had me thrown out of the party when I attempted to yank that mop off!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Like I'm telling ya, an awful human being. I saw her clean the earwax out of her ears using her house keys. Disgusting.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Now [[Dame Judith Underdunk]], she was a celebrity with class.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Would remember your name, your birthday, and even bake you a cake. Had a handshake like [[George Washington]]'s.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|The Springfield Library keeps thorough entertainment news records. We can check to verify your story…}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|And I can take a bath in their sink and dry myself on some useless, old books. Public libraries—the Hobo's Hilton.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Build Springfield Library}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lampwick Do Research|24 hours|[[Springfield Library]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Do Research|24 hours|[[Springfield Library]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Ah, fresh as a wilted rose! Nothing gives a man reason to look and smell his best better than a bellyful of dumb rage.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Lampwick's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Springfield, we must protect ourselves from the forces of Little Vicki! Discard all signs of the Queen of Babylon!}}
{{Tapped Out Apu Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Sir, don't damage those DVDs of Little Vicki for President.}}
{{Tapped Out Apu Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|If I mark the price down any lower, I will have to pay people to take them. And even then they will say, “Little Vicki for President? Ugh.”}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|We must cease worshipping her, and free ourselves from her narrative tyranny!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|She can no longer control us, forcing us to engage in silly behavior for her amusement!}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lampwick Battle the Forces of Vicki|6 hours|a [[Kwik-E-Mart]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|It's nice to feel like I finally have something to contribute.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|DEATH TO LITTLE VICKI!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|Mr. Lampwick! Mr. Lampwick! My research uncovered something you should know about your reason for existing.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Is it how to create a Little Vicki-proof barrier around any home or shanty town?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|You said Little Vicki was getting her star on the Walk of Fame. But she got her star in 1960, not 1963.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Also, the Walk of Fame parties only served shrimp cocktail in 1964…}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|The same year Dame Judith Underdunk got her star on the walk!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I believe the evil curly haired woman who took your shrimp was not Little Vicki, but in fact the Dame Judith Underdunk!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|So… everything I believe in is a lie?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Isn't that great?!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|...}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Oh. Only now do I realize how that might not be so great…}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Embarrassed}}
{{TB|…and that's beside the fact that I helped put her in prison!}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Guess I'll never know why I got saddled with this bum's life. Fate or chance or Little Vicki, I gotta make the best of it.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|There's no point in trying to anticipate the answers to why we're here.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|The essence of life is its mystery, and only when we accept that can we focus on living.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|Samuel Beckett was right. Hobos do possess a deeper insight.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|I know the perfect job for you, if you're willing to work for free cafeteria food.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lampwick Star in a School Production of Waiting for Godot|3 hours|[[Springfield Elementary]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Magnificent performance, Mr. Lampwick!}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|This school hasn't been so moved since the days Moleman bloodied our stage in Richard the II.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Thank you. And shove it. I have to spout a bunch of frufru nonsense AND choke down dry Salisbury steak?}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Forget it! I'd rather dine on juicy rotisserie pigeon, hot off the trash can.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Lampwick's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Whew. Trying to find a purpose for my existence has tuckered me out.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Deadpan}}
{{TB|I hope someone thought to give you a job at the homeless shelter.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|Or at least a job to stay with everyone else in the brown house.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|I don't need shelter.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|I have the one thing that truly matters, the one thing no one can take from me: my fantasies of destroying all who have wronged me.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Alarmed}}
{{TB|I was hoping you'd say “human dignity.” But “destroying others” is an alternative.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Take care. And have a goodnight, little victim number twelve}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lampwick Sleep Under a Newspaper|12 hours|{{TOG|Benches with Backs}}}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|You're going to get it. You're all going to get it! Especially whoever gave me this storyline and all his accomplices!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
}}

== Behind the Laughter ==
The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 1, and replaced with the Little Vicki dialogue:
{{Table|
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Well, I know who it must be! Only one soul has ever been so hate-fueled, bile-filled, and vile-stuffed. That secret Russian… [[Kirk Douglas]]!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|The talented star of ninety-two films and TV shows, and countless theatrical plays because the internet won't count them for me?}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|That's the yob.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|In 1953, I crashed some snooty awards party. All I wanted was a shrimp cocktail. So I get in line for one, right behind Kirk Douglas.}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Just as I'm about to get mine, Kirk Douglas takes them both! Says one's for a friend.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Make Lampwick Rant about Kirk Douglas}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|After starting the job|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
{{TB|Guard your shrimp! Kirk Douglas may walk among you!}}
}}

Another cut line was originally supposed to be included between lines 6 and 7 of the start dialogue:
{{Table|
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|What's your connection to her, Mr. Lampwick? Frankly, she seems like a pretty random reference for a feud.}}
}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:42, May 30, 2024
Line 198:		Line 198:
	{{TB\|What's your connection to her, Mr. Lampwick? Frankly, she seems like a pretty random reference for a feud.}}		{{TB\|What's your connection to her, Mr. Lampwick? Frankly, she seems like a pretty random reference for a feud.}}
	}}		}}
		+
		+	{{Tapped Out Quests/Premium Level 41-60}}

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Tapped Out Quest
 |name = Hobo You Didn't!
-|image =
+|image = [[File:Tapped Out Lampwick Sidebar.png|x100px]]
 |level = 15
 |update = {{TOCU|Level 42}}
@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 |characters = [[Lampwick]], [[Lisa]]
 |optional =
 |previous = {{TOQP|Bindle There, Done That|5}}
 |next =

@@ Line 52: / Line 52: @@
 {{TH|After tapping on Lampwick's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
-{{TB|I think I finally figured out why I'm back in Springfield, little girl. It's not for money or respect. It's for…}}
+{{TB|I think I finally figured out why I'm back in Springfield, little girl. It's not for money or respect. It's for...}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
 {{TB|REVENGE!}}
@@ Line 62: / Line 62: @@
 {{TB|I know all about her award record. If you ask me, she lied about her age!}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
-{{TB|She kept saying, “I'm the youngest actress to ever win an award, and now I am about to get my star on the [[Hollywood Walk of Fame]]!”}}
+{{TB|She kept saying, "I'm the youngest actress to ever win an award, and now I am about to get my star on the [[Hollywood Walk of Fame]]!"}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
 {{TB|Ever check her teeth? Never once did her fake baby teeth ever fall out!}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|Or that curly hair of hers… a wig, I tell ya!  She had me thrown out of the party when I attempted to yank that mop off!}}
+{{TB|Or that curly hair of hers... a wig, I tell ya! She had me thrown out of the party when I attempted to yank that mop off!}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
 {{TB|Like I'm telling ya, an awful human being. I saw her clean the earwax out of her ears using her house keys. Disgusting.}}
@@ Line 74: / Line 74: @@
 {{TB|Would remember your name, your birthday, and even bake you a cake. Had a handshake like [[George Washington]]'s.}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
-{{TB|The Springfield Library keeps thorough entertainment news records. We can check to verify your story…}}
+{{TB|The Springfield Library keeps thorough entertainment news records. We can check to verify your story...}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
 {{TB|And I can take a bath in their sink and dry myself on some useless, old books. Public libraries—the Hobo's Hilton.}}
@@ Line 91: / Line 91: @@
 {{TB|Sir, don't damage those DVDs of Little Vicki for President.}}
 {{Tapped Out Apu Icon|Angry}}
-{{TB|If I mark the price down any lower, I will have to pay people to take them. And even then they will say, “Little Vicki for President? Ugh.”}}
+{{TB|If I mark the price down any lower, I will have to pay people to take them. And even then they will say, "Little Vicki for President? Ugh."}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
 {{TB|We must cease worshipping her, and free ourselves from her narrative tyranny!}}
@@ Line 114: / Line 114: @@
 {{TB|You said Little Vicki was getting her star on the Walk of Fame. But she got her star in 1960, not 1963.}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
-{{TB|Also, the Walk of Fame parties only served shrimp cocktail in 1964…}}
+{{TB|Also, the Walk of Fame parties only served shrimp cocktail in 1964...}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
 {{TB|The same year Dame Judith Underdunk got her star on the walk!}}
@@ Line 120: / Line 120: @@
 {{TB|I believe the evil curly haired woman who took your shrimp was not Little Vicki, but in fact the Dame Judith Underdunk!}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|So… everything I believe in is a lie?}}
+{{TB|So... everything I believe in is a lie?}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
 {{TB|Isn't that great?!}}
@@ Line 126: / Line 126: @@
 {{TB|...}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|Oh. Only now do I realize how that might not be so great…}}
+{{TB|Oh. Only now do I realize how that might not be so great...}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Embarrassed}}
-{{TB|…and that's beside the fact that I helped put her in prison!}}
+{{TB|...and that's beside the fact that I helped put her in prison!}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon|Sad}}
 {{TB|Guess I'll never know why I got saddled with this bum's life. Fate or chance or Little Vicki, I gotta make the best of it.}}
@@ Line 165: / Line 165: @@
 {{TB|I have the one thing that truly matters, the one thing no one can take from me: my fantasies of destroying all who have wronged me.}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Alarmed}}
-{{TB|I was hoping you'd say “human dignity.” But “destroying others” is an alternative.}}
+{{TB|I was hoping you'd say "human dignity." But "destroying others" is an alternative.}}
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
 {{TB|Take care. And have a goodnight, little victim number twelve}}
@@ Line 178: / Line 178: @@
 {{Table|
 {{Tapped Out Lampwick Icon}}
-{{TB|Well, I know who it must be! Only one soul has ever been so hate-fueled, bile-filled, and vile-stuffed. That secret Russian… [[Kirk Douglas]]!}}
+{{TB|Well, I know who it must be! Only one soul has ever been so hate-fueled, bile-filled, and vile-stuffed. That secret Russian... [[Kirk Douglas]]!}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 {{TB|The talented star of ninety-two films and TV shows, and countless theatrical plays because the internet won't count them for me?}}