https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Gumshoe_Comics%2FQuotes 2026-08-21T19:28:13Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Gumshoe_Comics/Quotes&diff=1487982&oldid=prev 2026-08-21T15:29:12Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|ngc}} {{qf|Narrator}} The Fruit Bat Man, that decrepit crusader, is in reality, Charles Montgomery Burns, billionaire tyrant! Faithful toady Waylon Smithers aids Fruit...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|ngc}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|Narrator}} The Fruit Bat Man, that decrepit crusader, is in reality, Charles Montgomery Burns, billionaire tyrant! Faithful toady Waylon Smithers aids Fruit Bat Man in his war against all crime (not including his own). But is Smithers enough? See what happens when the superfluous sentinel takes on a young, smart-talking, insolent ally to aid him in his ridiculous mission!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Smithers!!<br /> {{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Right here, Mr. Burns. What's wrong?<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Lately I've been feeling a sense of ennui in regard to my nocturnal exploits as Fruit Bat Man. But this comical booklet has given me the answer! What I need is a sidekick! Someone to assist me while I wage war against the criminal element of Springfield!<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} But Mr. Burns, you already have me!<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Nonsense, Smithers! I'm talking about a laughing young daredevil! Someone to make corny puns and get himself captured so that I can rescue him! Besides, I don't want to have to look at you in bare legs, pixie boots, and a shorty cape! [SHUDDER!]<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} You there! Boy!<br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Who, me?<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} I couldn't help but notice that you've been tragically orphaned! But fear not! I will take you in and make you my faithful ward.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} What are you talking about, old man? My dad just went for hot dogs and beer... ...and my mom is right over there.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} No, I'm pretty sure they're both dead. Now, Smithers!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Bart}} You want me to be your sidekick? I'm a headliner myself, man. There's no way I'm playing second banana to some bat crap-crazy old dude in a mask and tights.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Smithers, did he just call me a &quot;dude&quot;?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} Okay, listen up, Simpson. Either you go along with us, or your dad can kiss his job goodbye.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} S'no skin off my nose.<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} Is that so? Well no job for him means no allowance for you! And you can forget all the tasty Wing Dings and [[Buzz Cola]]s your mom usually buys. I predict a new austerity program at the Casa de Simpson.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Eep!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} Mr. Bur-- I mean, Fruit Bat Man, you really should let me drive. You haven't been behind the wheel of a car in years! And your eyes aren't what they used to be.<br /> {{qf|[[Fruit Bat Man]]}} Oh, twaddle, Smithers! Super-heroes don't rely on chauffeurs to drive them around! Now keep a sharp eye out for someone in need of assistance.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} ...So we asked the Simpsons to come down and press charges against you for kidnapping their son, but they refused.<br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} To be honest, it was a nice little vacation.<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Plus, he'd like to keep his job.</div>

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