Greek to Me - Revision history

Solar Dragon: /* Rock On */

2026-08-03T18:27:25Z

‎Rock On

Solar Dragon at 16:50, August 3, 2026

2026-08-03T16:50:44Z

Solar Dragon at 21:48, April 12, 2024

2024-04-12T21:48:15Z

Solar Dragon at 13:10, October 24, 2020

2020-10-24T13:10:57Z

Solar Dragon at 21:56, May 3, 2020

2020-05-03T21:56:59Z

SolarBot: /* top */replaced: featured in → first printed in

2020-04-07T15:43:51Z

‎top: replaced: featured in → first printed in

Buzzfan120 at 02:20, March 30, 2020

2020-03-30T02:20:23Z

SolarBot: /* top */replaced: {{Tab|gags=no}} → {{Tab|nogags}}

2020-03-13T20:50:06Z

‎top: replaced: {{Tab|gags=no}} → {{Tab|nogags}}

SolarBot: /* top */replaced: Simpson/Sideshow Sibling Smackdown → Simpson Sideshow Sibling Smackdown

2020-03-12T14:17:17Z

‎top: replaced: Simpson/Sideshow Sibling Smackdown → Simpson Sideshow Sibling Smackdown

SolarBot: /* top */replaced: In Burns We Trust → In Burn$ We Tru$t

2020-03-08T16:24:19Z

‎top: replaced: In Burns We Trust → In Burn$ We Tru$t

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 === Rock On ===
-[[Otto]] enters a cave and finds [[Medusa]] inside. He asks Medusa if this is the place where someone can get stoned. Medusa tells him that it is and breathes smoke over him, turning him to stone. Elsewhere, [[Perseus]] is going to school on his "mini-chariot". On the way, he accidentally crashes into King [[Polydectes]]. As punishment, the king sends Perseus to bring him the head of Medusa. Perseus arrives at Medusa's cave and finds her conversing with her sister, [[Circe]]. After Circe leaves, Perseus confronts Medusa, who has already seen him coming because of the snakes on her head. Perseus shows Medusa a mirror, but the gorgon reveals that her gaze doesn't turn people into stone, her second-hand smoke does. Perseus turns around and runs, with Medusa giving chase. Perseus lets out his hamsters to try and distract Medusa, and they successfully distract the snakes, causing them to give chase and Medusa to fall over, giving Perseus the opportunity to capture her.
+[[Ottovius]] enters a cave and finds [[Medusa]] inside. He asks Medusa if this is the place where someone can get stoned. Medusa tells him that it is and breathes smoke over him, turning him to stone. Elsewhere, [[Perseus]] is going to school on his "mini-chariot". On the way, he accidentally crashes into King [[Polydectes]]. As punishment, the king sends Perseus to bring him the head of Medusa. Perseus arrives at Medusa's cave and finds her conversing with her sister, [[Circe]]. After Circe leaves, Perseus confronts Medusa, who has already seen him coming because of the snakes on her head. Perseus shows Medusa a mirror, but the gorgon reveals that her gaze doesn't turn people into stone, her second-hand smoke does. Perseus turns around and runs, with Medusa giving chase. Perseus lets out his hamsters to try and distract Medusa, and they successfully distract the snakes, causing them to give chase and Medusa to fall over, giving Perseus the opportunity to capture her.
 Perseus returns to the king with Medusa and tells the king that Medusa told him that she and Polydectes used to date. Medusa tells Polydectes that she still has feelings for him and Polydectes proposes to her. The day of the wedding comes along and King Polydectes is wheeled out on a board because he's been turned to stone. As Medusa and Polydectes get married, Perseus releases pigeons, which immediately land on Polydectes.

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 {{Tab|nogags}}
-{{Noncanoncomic}}
+{{Noncanoncomic|reason=Comic is set in Ancient [[Greece]]}}
 {{Comic story
 |title=Greek to Me
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 '''Greek to Me''' is a ''[[Simpsons Comics]]'' story first printed in {{SC|70}}.
 == Plot ==
-{{ap|Homer|Greek}} (pretending to be blind) is telling stories of the Gods to a group of Greek children.
+In ancient [[Greece]], the Greek poet {{ap|Homer|Greek}} is getting ready to tell stories to the kids. The kids are annoyed because they don't want to hear the ''Iliad'' and the ''Odyssey'' again. They threaten to tell everyone that he's not really blind if he doesn't tell them a good story. Homer begins to tell a story, but is interrupted as the kids want a story about the gods. So, Homer begins to tell one.
-=== Labor Pains ===
+=== The Gods in Labor Pains ===
-When [[Hera]] ([[Marge]]) finds out [[Zeus]] ([[Homer]]) has an illegitimate son called {{ap|Hercules|Greek mythology}} ([[Bart]]), she sets Hercules 12 labors to complete. The first is to kill the [[Hydra]] ([[Snake]]), which grows two heads for every one cut off. Hercules defeats it by making it argue over who will rob him. Then he has to clean the Augean Stables, where he convinces a rich Greek ([[Mr. Burns]]) that gold is worthless and that dung is valuable. He then deals with the various creatures he is tasked to capture by getting [[Hermes]] ([[Milhouse]]) to send an animal welfare group to catch them as they don't have a license and may be rabid. Hercules then returns to Hera with only 10 of the tasks complete. Hercules decides that that Hera would much better suit Zeus's position and so she takes this role, only to cause havoc to those down on Earth through constant nagging.
+On [[Mount Olympus]], [[Hera]] confronts [[Zeus]] about him turning into swans to go to the singles bar. Zeus tells her it was just some harmless flirting, but then his illegitimate son, {{ap|Hercules|Greek mythology}}, shows up. Hera decides to find Hercules something to do and sends him on twelve labors. Zeus tells him that's not so bad because his father, [[Cronus]], ate him when he was Hercules' age. Hercules then sets off to do his labors.
 === The Hades You Say ===
-Hades (Homer) is on trial for kidnapping Persephone (Marge) with Athena ([[Lisa]]) serving as judge. Hades claims that he forced Persephone into the underworld solely for a date. However Persephone reveals that the date went badly due to the undead waiter, amnesia-inducing water from the River Lethe and rough dancing from Hades. Because of the flawed legal system, Hades is cleared of all charges while Persephone is sentenced to six months every year with Hades after eating his pomegranates. Persephone gets revenge on society by introducing the season of Winter.
+[[Hades]] is on trial in [[Athena]]'s court for kidnapping {{ap|Persephone|Greek mythology}}. Hades tells the story of what happened to the court. [[Charon]], the ferryman of the dead, found Hades looking depressed. Hades said that he's lonely and Charon suggests that he find a wife. [[Sisyphus]] agreed with the idea, so Hades decided to start dating. He saw a pretty woman in the land of the living, so he opened up a chasm underneath her and brought her to the underworld. After this, Persephone attacked Hades and told him that he has a lot to learn about dating. Persephone reluctantly agreed to have dinner with Hades and was horrified by the zombie waiters and the location of the date, next to the [[River Styx]]. Persephone tried to leave during the meal, but Hades convinced her to have a dance with him first. During the dance, Hades decided to "slam dance" Persephone, angering her. She told Hades that she would take him to court.
 === Rock On ===
-Medusa ([[Selma]]) has been turning men into stone through second-hand smoking produced by her snake-hair. Perseus (Bart) hits the king ([[Principal Skinner]]) with his skateboard. The king orders him to bring the head of Medusa as a community service punishment. Perseus is able to catch Medusa by distracting her snakes with hamsters. Instead of beheading her, Perseus brings her alive to the king after he discovers the two used to date. The king proposes to her but by the time their wedding arrives, the king has been turned to stone much to Medusa's delight.
+[[Otto]] enters a cave and finds [[Medusa]] inside. He asks Medusa if this is the place where someone can get stoned. Medusa tells him that it is and breathes smoke over him, turning him to stone. Elsewhere, [[Perseus]] is going to school on his "mini-chariot". On the way, he accidentally crashes into King [[Polydectes]]. As punishment, the king sends Perseus to bring him the head of Medusa. Perseus arrives at Medusa's cave and finds her conversing with her sister, [[Circe]]. After Circe leaves, Perseus confronts Medusa, who has already seen him coming because of the snakes on her head. Perseus shows Medusa a mirror, but the gorgon reveals that her gaze doesn't turn people into stone, her second-hand smoke does. Perseus turns around and runs, with Medusa giving chase. Perseus lets out his hamsters to try and distract Medusa, and they successfully distract the snakes, causing them to give chase and Medusa to fall over, giving Perseus the opportunity to capture her.
-At the end of his stories, Homer discovers that everyone has already lost interest and is instead listening to Aesop's ([[Ned Flanders]]) fables. Homer goes to the bar and meets Zeus who is in the form of a swan.
+After Homer finishes telling this story, he realizes that all the kids have left. He finds them watching [[Aesop]] perform fables to them, with his performances all being sold out. Homer goes to the bar to complain and Zeus, in swan form, tells [[Moe]] not to tell Hera that he's there if she calls.
 == Reprints ==

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 |image=[[File:Greek to Me.png|250px]]
 |released= May [[2002]]
 |series= ''[[Simpsons Comics]]''
 |written by=[[Ian Boothby]]

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 |3a=April 1, [[2010]]
 |3b=US
 }}

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 {{Tab|nogags}}
 {{Noncanoncomic}}
 {{Comic story