Grampa's Christmas Origins: Christmas Cookies/Quotes - Revision history

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Mythigator at 14:28, July 13, 2013

2013-07-13T14:28:51Z

Mythigator at 16:26, February 17, 2013

2013-02-17T16:26:38Z

Mythigator at 16:22, February 17, 2013

2013-02-17T16:22:47Z

Mythigator: Created page with "{{tabQ}} :''[It's Christmas Eve at the Simpson home. Bart and Lisa are leaving treats by the fireplace for Santa Claus.]'' :'''Lisa''': ..."

2013-02-16T23:52:54Z

Created page with "{{tabQ}} :''[It's Christmas Eve at the Simpson home. Bart and Lisa are leaving treats by the fireplace for Santa Claus.]'' :'''Lisa''': ..."

New page

{{tabQ}}

:''[It's Christmas Eve at [[742 Evergreen Terrace|the Simpson home]]. [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] are leaving treats by the fireplace for [[Santa Claus]].]''
:'''Lisa''': Santa is going to love washing down these vegan carob chip cookies with a nice glass of unsweetened soy milk!
:'''Bart''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh yeah, I'm sure it'll be the highlight of his night ...
:''[To their surprise, they find [[Grampa]] sitting in the chair next to the fireplace.]''
:'''Grampa''': What's this malarkey about cookies for Santa?
:'''Lisa''': Grampa?! Why aren't you at [[Springfield Retirement Castle|the retirement home]]?
:'''Grampa''': Apparently, I have to tell you how this silly tradition got started!
----
:''[As [[Grampa]] narrates, the scene shifts to an orphanage in the 1920s.]''
:'''Grampa''': ''[narrating]'' It all began one Christmas Eve in an orphanage back in the olden days!
:''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Milhouse]], who has been baking, removes his creation from the oven. It's a cake with a candy cane stuck in it and it's on fire.]''
:'''Milhouse''': [[Santa Claus]] is sure to leave me the best toy tonight thanks to my magnificent candy cane flambé!
:''[The four school bullies ([[Nelson]], [[Dolph]], [[Jimbo]] and [[Kearney]]) are unimpressed.]''
:'''Nelson''': You're nuts. Santa's too busy to stop and eat.
:'''Kearney''': Enjoy your sissy cake, loser!
----
:'''[[Grampa]]''': ''[narrating]'' Later that night, that sissy cake would be put to [[Santa Claus|St. Nick]]'s litmus test ...
:''[The bullies are all asleep, but [[Milhouse]], undeterred by their derision, has stayed up to await Santa's arrival. He sees Santa (who bears a remarkable resemblance to Grampa) landing in the fireplace.]''
:'''Milhouse''': He's here! Santa is really here! He's going to love my flambé!
:'''Santa''': Ho-ho-ho, little boy! Shouldn't you be asleep?
:'''Milhouse''': ''[stammering]'' I-I thought you might be hungry after all your travels, Santa! ''[He holds up the cake (still on fire) to Santa.]''
:'''Santa''': Well, I didn't get this belly counting calories, did I? ''[takes a bite of the flaming cake]'' Hot diggity!
:''["Hot diggity" proves to be a scorchingly accurate assessment, as the cake ignites Santa's mouth.]''
:'''Santa''': ''[dropping the cake and screaming]'' AGGHHH! My mouth is on fire!
:''[The commotion awakens the bullies, and they quickly spring into action.]''
:'''[[Jimbo]]''': ''[standing behind Santa and holding him upright]'' Here! Drink this, Santa!
:''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Dolph]] pours a glass of milk into Santa's mouth while [[Kearney]] stands ready with a bottle of milk.]''
:'''[[Nelson]]''': How about a cookie? ''[holds up a plate full of cookies and offers one to Santa]''
----
:''[After [[Santa Claus|Santa]] has the milk and cookies, things calm down. Santa is grateful for the assistance.]''
:'''Santa''': ''[to the bullies]'' You boys saved Christmas! And for that, I'm going to give you all my best toys and find you new families! ''[He angrily turns to [[Milhouse]].]'' Except you, Bakey McTongue-Torcher! You get a lifetime of unfulflled hopes and dreams!
:'''Milhouse''': ''[hanging his head]'' Aww ... I knew I should have made paella instead!
:'''[[Grampa]]''': ''[narrating]'' By next Christmas, the idea of leaving cookies for Santa had spread to the entire world. [[Fatty Arbuckle]] became the national spokesman for the Cookie Initiative. This would eventually lead to the Great Cookie Prohibition of 1929. Cookies would not be seen again until 1987 when [[Geraldo Rivera]] opened Al Capone's vault!
----
:''[The scene shifts back to the present as [[Grampa]] finishes the story—and finishes the carob cookies and soy milk that [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] had brought for [[Santa Claus|Santa]].]''
:'''Grampa''': Then, Santa went on a cookie bender and died from obesity, rendering the cookies-and-milk tradition a morbid reminder of how truly evil orphans can be!
:''[Annoyed, Bart and Lisa walk away.]''
:'''Lisa''': Is he going to try to ruin every Christmas tradition for us?
:'''Bart''': Wait 'til he tells you his theories on Easter, evolution, and Kevin James's career ...
----

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:07, May 15, 2021
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	{{qf\|Bart}} Wait 'til he tells you his theories on Easter, evolution, and Kevin James's career...		{{qf\|Bart}} Wait 'til he tells you his theories on Easter, evolution, and Kevin James's career...
	----		----
		+
		+	[[Category:Simpsons Winter Wingding stories quotes]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:17, March 13, 2020
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−	{{~~tabQ~~\|~~gags=no~~}}	+	{{TabQ\|nogags}}

	:''[It's Christmas Eve at [[742 Evergreen Terrace\|the Simpson home]]. [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] are leaving treats by the fireplace for [[Santa Claus]].]''		:''[It's Christmas Eve at [[742 Evergreen Terrace\|the Simpson home]]. [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] are leaving treats by the fireplace for [[Santa Claus]].]''

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:28, July 13, 2013
Line 1:		Line 1:
−	{{tabQ}}	+	{{tabQ\|gags=no}}

	:''[It's Christmas Eve at [[742 Evergreen Terrace\|the Simpson home]]. [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] are leaving treats by the fireplace for [[Santa Claus]].]''		:''[It's Christmas Eve at [[742 Evergreen Terrace\|the Simpson home]]. [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] are leaving treats by the fireplace for [[Santa Claus]].]''

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 :''[It's Christmas Eve at [[742 Evergreen Terrace|the Simpson home]]. [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] are leaving treats by the fireplace for [[Santa Claus]].]''
-:'''Lisa''': Santa is going to love washing down these vegan carob chip cookies with a nice glass of unsweetened soy milk!
+{{qf|Lisa}} Santa is going to love washing down these vegan carob chip cookies with a nice glass of unsweetened soy milk!
-:'''Bart''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh yeah, I'm sure it'll be the highlight of his night...
+{{qf|Bart}} ''[sarcastically]'' Oh yeah, I'm sure it'll be the highlight of his night...
 :''[To their surprise, they find [[Grampa]] sitting in the chair next to the fireplace.]''
-:'''Grampa''': What's this malarkey about cookies for Santa?
+{{qf|Grampa}} What's this malarkey about cookies for Santa?
-:'''Lisa''': Grampa?! Why aren't you at [[Springfield Retirement Castle|the retirement home]]?
+{{qf|Lisa}} Grampa?! Why aren't you at [[Springfield Retirement Castle|the retirement home]]?
-:'''Grampa''': Apparently, I have to tell you how this silly tradition got started!
+{{qf|Grampa}} Apparently, I have to tell you how this silly tradition got started!
 ----
 :''[As [[Grampa]] narrates, the scene shifts to an orphanage in the 1920s.]''
-:'''Grampa''': ''[narrating]'' It all began one Christmas Eve in an orphanage back in the olden days!
+{{qf|Grampa}} ''[narrating]'' It all began one Christmas Eve in an orphanage back in the olden days!
 :''[A 1920s counterpart of [[Milhouse]], who has been baking, removes his creation from the oven. It's a cake with a candy cane stuck in it and it's on fire.]''
-:'''Milhouse''': [[Santa Claus]] is sure to leave me the best toy tonight thanks to my magnificent candy cane flambé!
+{{qf|Milhouse}} [[Santa Claus]] is sure to leave me the best toy tonight thanks to my magnificent candy cane flambé!
 :''[The 1920s counterparts of the four school bullies ([[Nelson]], [[Dolph]], [[Jimbo]] and [[Kearney]]) are unimpressed.]''
-:'''Nelson''': You're nuts. Santa's too busy to stop and eat.
+{{qf|Nelson}} You're nuts. Santa's too busy to stop and eat.
-:'''Kearney''': Enjoy your sissy cake, loser!
+{{qf|Kearney}} Enjoy your sissy cake, loser!
 ----
-:'''[[Grampa]]''': ''[narrating]'' Later that night, that sissy cake would be put to [[Santa Claus|St. Nick]]'s litmus test...
+{{qf|Grampa}} ''[narrating]'' Later that night, that sissy cake would be put to [[Santa Claus|St. Nick]]'s litmus test...
 :''[The bullies are all asleep, but [[Milhouse]], undeterred by their derision, has stayed up to await Santa's arrival. He sees Santa (who bears a remarkable resemblance to Grampa) landing in the fireplace.]''
-:'''Milhouse''': He's here! Santa is really here! He's going to love my flambé!
+{{qf|Milhouse}} He's here! Santa is really here! He's going to love my flambé!
-:'''Santa''': Ho-ho-ho, little boy! Shouldn't you be asleep?
+{{qf|Santa}} Ho-ho-ho, little boy! Shouldn't you be asleep?
-:'''Milhouse''': ''[stammering]'' I-I thought you might be hungry after all your travels, Santa! ''[He holds up the cake (still on fire) to Santa.]''
+{{qf|Milhouse}} ''[stammering]'' I-I thought you might be hungry after all your travels, Santa! ''[He holds up the cake (still on fire) to Santa.]''
-:'''Santa''': Well, I didn't get this belly counting calories, did I? ''[takes a bite of the flaming cake]'' Hot diggity!
+{{qf|Santa}} Well, I didn't get this belly counting calories, did I? ''[takes a bite of the flaming cake]'' Hot diggity!
 :''["Hot diggity" proves to be a scorchingly accurate assessment, as the cake ignites Santa's mouth.]''
-:'''Santa''': ''[dropping the cake and screaming]'' AGGHHH! My mouth is on fire!
+{{qf|Santa}} ''[dropping the cake and screaming]'' AGGHHH! My mouth is on fire!
 :''[The commotion awakens the bullies, and they quickly spring into action.]''
-:'''[[Jimbo]]''': ''[standing behind Santa and holding him upright]'' Here! Drink this, Santa!
+{{qf|Jimbo}} ''[standing behind Santa and holding him upright]'' Here! Drink this, Santa!
 :''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Dolph]] pours a glass of milk into Santa's mouth while [[Kearney]] stands ready with a bottle of milk.]''
-:'''[[Nelson]]''': How about a cookie? ''[holds up a plate full of cookies and offers one to Santa]''
+{{qf|Nelson}} How about a cookie? ''[holds up a plate full of cookies and offers one to Santa]''
 ----
 :''[After [[Santa Claus|Santa]] has the milk and cookies, things calm down. Santa is grateful for the bullies' assistance.]''
-:'''Santa''': ''[to the bullies]'' You boys saved Christmas! And for that, I'm going to give you all my best toys and find you new families! ''[He angrily turns to [[Milhouse]].]'' Except you, Bakey McTongue-Torcher! You get a lifetime of unfulflled hopes and dreams!
+{{qf|Santa}} ''[to the bullies]'' You boys saved Christmas! And for that, I'm going to give you all my best toys and find you new families! ''[He angrily turns to [[Milhouse]].]'' Except you, Bakey McTongue-Torcher! You get a lifetime of unfulflled hopes and dreams!
-:'''Milhouse''': ''[hanging his head]'' Aww... I knew I should have made paella instead!
+{{qf|Milhouse}} ''[hanging his head]'' Aww... I knew I should have made paella instead!
-:'''[[Grampa]]''': ''[narrating]'' By next Christmas, the idea of leaving cookies for Santa had spread to the entire world. [[Fatty Arbuckle]] became the national spokesman for the Cookie Initiative. This would eventually lead to the Great Cookie Prohibition of 1929. Cookies would not be seen again until 1987 when [[Geraldo Rivera]] opened Al Capone's vault!
+{{qf|Grampa}} ''[narrating]'' By next Christmas, the idea of leaving cookies for Santa had spread to the entire world. [[Fatty Arbuckle]] became the national spokesman for the Cookie Initiative. This would eventually lead to the Great Cookie Prohibition of 1929. Cookies would not be seen again until 1987 when [[Geraldo Rivera]] opened Al Capone's vault!
 ----
 :''[The scene shifts back to the present as [[Grampa]] finishes the story—and finishes the carob cookies and soy milk that [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] had brought for [[Santa Claus|Santa]].]''
-:'''Grampa''': Then, Santa went on a cookie bender and died from obesity, rendering the cookies-and-milk tradition a morbid reminder of how truly evil orphans can be!
+{{qf|Grampa}} Then, Santa went on a cookie bender and died from obesity, rendering the cookies-and-milk tradition a morbid reminder of how truly evil orphans can be!
 :''[Annoyed, Bart and Lisa walk away.]''
-:'''Lisa''': Is he going to try to ruin every Christmas tradition for us?
+{{qf|Lisa}} Is he going to try to ruin every Christmas tradition for us?
-:'''Bart''': Wait 'til he tells you his theories on Easter, evolution, and Kevin James's career...
+{{qf|Bart}} Wait 'til he tells you his theories on Easter, evolution, and Kevin James's career...
 ----