Goo Goo Gai Pan/Quotes - Revision history

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2019-09-22T06:15:25Z

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Solar Dragon at 14:07, April 11, 2018

2018-04-11T14:07:11Z

SolarBot at 10:48, September 1, 2012

2012-09-01T10:48:17Z

Solar Dragon at 20:23, July 31, 2011

2011-07-31T20:23:06Z

Effluvium at 17:51, August 31, 2010

2010-08-31T17:51:14Z

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Solar Dragon at 07:33, April 24, 2010

2010-04-24T07:33:37Z

Solar Dragon at 07:33, April 24, 2010

2010-04-24T07:33:07Z

@@ Line 54: / Line 54: @@
 {{qf|Bart}} We understand, ma'am. We're pretty lousy kids.
 {{qf|Madam Wu}} Lisa, soon you will have a Chinese baby sister who will surpass you academically.
-{{qf|Lisa}}  don't know about that—I'm considered pretty smart.
+{{qf|Lisa}} I don't know about that—I'm considered pretty smart.
 {{qf|Madam Wu}} Well, [[Tibet]] was considered "pretty independent." How'd that work out?
 ----

@@ Line 3: / Line 3: @@
 {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Do you know this baby once out-raced the Flying Finn, [[Paavo Nurmi]]?
-{{qf|[[Selma]]}} ''[grunts]'' Turn the heater off -- it's boiling in here!
+{{qf|[[Selma]]}} ''[grunts]'' Turn the heater off—it's boiling in here!
 {{qf|Mr. Burns}} What are you talking about? This car is cooler than Guy Lombardo.
 ----
@@ Line 24: / Line 24: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Selma}} Everyone has a child but me.
-{{qf|[[Patty]]}} Cheer up, sis -- there's a dented-can sale down at Schwegman's.
+{{qf|[[Patty]]}} Cheer up, sis—there's a dented-can sale down at Schwegman's.
 {{qf|Selma}} This is one problem damaged food can't solve.
 {{qf|Patty}} Wow, you really are down. Hey, you ever think of adoption?
@@ Line 54: / Line 54: @@
 {{qf|Bart}} We understand, ma'am. We're pretty lousy kids.
 {{qf|Madam Wu}} Lisa, soon you will have a Chinese baby sister who will surpass you academically.
-{{qf|Lisa}}  don't know about that -- I'm considered pretty smart.
+{{qf|Lisa}}  don't know about that—I'm considered pretty smart.
 {{qf|Madam Wu}} Well, [[Tibet]] was considered "pretty independent." How'd that work out?
 ----
@@ Line 71: / Line 71: @@
 {{qf|Marge}} Just think about the day you found that Junior Mint in your bellybutton.
 ----
-{{qf|Selma}} Madam Wu, I too work for a cruel and faceless empire -- the [[Department of Motor Vehicles]].
+{{qf|Selma}} Madam Wu, I too work for a cruel and faceless empire—the [[Department of Motor Vehicles]].
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Something's wrong with Bart. He's acting weird.

@@ Line 18: / Line 18: @@
 {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Selma, I never realized you wanted a child so badly.
 {{qf|Selma}} I didn't want to get pregnant and lose my looks--
-:''[Homer tries to stifle a laugh]''
+:''[Homer tries to stifle a laugh.]''
 {{qf|Selma}} But now I'm afraid I'll grow old alone.
 {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} What about your pet iguana, [[Jub-Jub]]?

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister|Mobile Homer}}
-(At the Consulate of China)
+:'''[[Mr. Burns]]:''' Do you know this baby once out-raced the Flying Finn, [[Paavo Nurmi]]?
-:'''Clerk''': And don't forget--your husband must go with you to China to pick up the baby.
+:'''[[Selma]]:''' ''[grunts]'' Turn the heater off -- it's boiling in here!
-:'''Selma''': All right, here I go…Writing the name…(Struggling to keep her composure as she writes Homer's name on the form)
+:'''Mr. Burns:''' What are you talking about? This car is cooler than Guy Lombardo.
 ----
-(The family is about to leave the hospital)
+:'''Mr. Burns:''' Good heavens, she's some sort of female madman!
 ----
-(At a Krusty Fried Chicken cart)
+:'''[[Bart]]:''' Car!
-:'''Madam Wu''': You shall be back in the land you love soon. Tomorrow we'll give you your baby.
+:'''[[Milhouse]]:''' Car what? Car is the subject, but I don't know the verb!
 ----
-:'''Marge''': Selma, I didn't realize you wanted a child so badly.
+:'''[[Waylon Smithers]]:''' Sir, thank God the airbags activated!
-:'''Selma''': I didn't want to get pregnant and lose my looks.
+:'''Mr. Burns:''' Those are my lungs!
 ----
-:'''Robert Wagner''': (In the video) So let's all give menopause a round of men-applause. "Men-aplause?!?" I'm not saying that!
+:'''[[Homer]]:''' Son, menopause is when the stork that brings babies gets shot by drunken hunters.
 ----
-:'''Dragons''': (singing Chinese opera style) American Jerks are going home...Now we sleep for a thousand years...When we wake the world will end...
+:'''[[Marge]]:''' Selma, I never realized you wanted a child so badly.
 ----
-:'''Madam Wu''': Lisa, soon you will have a Chinese baby sister who will surpass you academically.
+:'''Selma:''' Everyone has a child but me.
-:'''Lisa''': I don't know about that. I'm considered pretty smart.
+:'''[[Patty]]:''' Cheer up, sis -- there's a dented-can sale down at Schwegman's.
-:'''Madam Wu''': Well, Tibet was considered pretty independent. How'd that work out?
+:'''Selma:''' This is one problem damaged food can't solve.
-:'''Lisa''': (Gasps) How dare you make light of that brutal…
+:'''Patty:''' Wow, you really are down. Hey, you ever think of adoption?
-:'''Marge''': (Restrains her) Mind your manners, Lisa.
+:'''Selma:''' The adoption process! That'll end the heartbreak.
 ----
-:'''Bart''': What the hell's menopause?
+:'''Lisa:''' Don't give up, Aunt Selma. [[China]] has thousands of baby girls who need adoption.
-:'''Homer''': Son, menopause is when the stork that brings babies gets shot by drunken hunters.
+:'''Homer:''' Great, another job lost to a foreigner.
 ----
-:'''Pilot''': If you look out the left side of the aircraft, you will see our monument to warrior, and spicy chicken pioneer, General Gou.
+:'''[[Mr. Zhao]]:''' The Chinese government only allows wholesome, married couples to adopt. No "hen without cock." I apologize if that is a double-entendre in your language. It is not in ours.
-:'''Homer''': Wow, it makes Lincoln Memorial look like crap.
+:'''Selma:''' Don't worry. I'll just write my husband's name on this form. Have you ever heard of [[Angus MacGyver|MacGyver]]?
 ----
-:'''Madam Wu''': Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Wu!
+:'''Homer:''' Hey look, a dragon.
 ----
-:'''Homer''': Wow, the fortune cookies here really are more accurate.
+:'''Homer:''' Oh, look at him sleeping. He's like a little angel that killed fifty million people. Yes you are... yes you are!
 ----
-:'''Fake Bart''': Feast on my shorts, stupid father man.
+:'''[[Madam Wu]]:''' So, Mr. Simpson, what do you do for a living?
 {{Season 16|Q}}

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{TabQ
+{{TabQ}}
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister|Mobile Homer}}
@@ Line 52: / Line 50: @@
 :'''Fake Bart''': Feast on my shorts, stupid father man.
-{{Season 16 Q}}
+{{Season 16|Q}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:33, April 24, 2010
Line 28:		Line 28:
	*'''Selma:''' May I speak to you, bureaucrat to bureaucrat?<br />'''Madame Wu:''' Yes, but first you must sign this form. Initial here. And here. And now we must find a notary.<br />'''Chinese Soldier:''' Hehehe. This is Wang Po's time to shine.		*'''Selma:''' May I speak to you, bureaucrat to bureaucrat?<br />'''Madame Wu:''' Yes, but first you must sign this form. Initial here. And here. And now we must find a notary.<br />'''Chinese Soldier:''' Hehehe. This is Wang Po's time to shine.
	*'''Lisa (after spray painting Homer):''' You look just like a Buddha statue. Now, all you need is an expression of utter serenity.<br />''(Homer makes a face similar to when he is about to strangle Bart)''<br />'''Marge:''' Just think about the time you found that junior mint in your belly button.<br />''(Homer makes a more appropriate expression. Lisa rings the Adoption Agency's doorbell and they run off. Two Chinese Soldiers exit and look at Homer)''<br />'''Soldier 1:''' A Buddha statue?! We cannot leave it outside! It is bad feng shui!<br />'''Soldier 2:''' Feng shui? I thought that was just an excuse to sell crappy end tables to the West.<br />'''Soldier 1:''' Just stick this hook in his nostril and pull.<br />''(Homer has a very nervous look as they insert the hook. As they drag him, he begins to scream and when the soldiers look at him, he is normal. He is able to calmly hold his pain as they continue to drag him)''<br />'''Soldier 1:''' I've never moved a Buddha this heavy!<br />'''Soldier 2:''' Let's cut him in chunks and worship the chunks.		*'''Lisa (after spray painting Homer):''' You look just like a Buddha statue. Now, all you need is an expression of utter serenity.<br />''(Homer makes a face similar to when he is about to strangle Bart)''<br />'''Marge:''' Just think about the time you found that junior mint in your belly button.<br />''(Homer makes a more appropriate expression. Lisa rings the Adoption Agency's doorbell and they run off. Two Chinese Soldiers exit and look at Homer)''<br />'''Soldier 1:''' A Buddha statue?! We cannot leave it outside! It is bad feng shui!<br />'''Soldier 2:''' Feng shui? I thought that was just an excuse to sell crappy end tables to the West.<br />'''Soldier 1:''' Just stick this hook in his nostril and pull.<br />''(Homer has a very nervous look as they insert the hook. As they drag him, he begins to scream and when the soldiers look at him, he is normal. He is able to calmly hold his pain as they continue to drag him)''<br />'''Soldier 1:''' I've never moved a Buddha this heavy!<br />'''Soldier 2:''' Let's cut him in chunks and worship the chunks.
		+
		+	{{Season 16 Q}}

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-==Quotes==
+{{TabQ
 *'''Madam Wu:''' These are the world-famous Shaolin temple monks. They practice spiritual harmony through barefisted murder.
 *'''Homer:''' I hope you washed your hands first! (after a monk pulls out Homers heart then puts it back in)