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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Treehouse of Horror XXXIII|Step Brother from the Same Planet}}

{{qf|Announcer}} Attention, Duff Nation. We need you to choose our new mascot by voting in our first ever Duff Election. The candidates are: [[Hops]] and [[Barley]], lady brewologists who don't even know they're pretty. [[Woketopus]], the most open-minded mollusk on the block. Dame Helen Mirren.
{{qf|[[Helen Mirren]]}} I'm sorry, what is this for?
{{qf|Announcer}} And I guess we're open to keeping Duffman. Vote today. Democracy needs you, and so do we.
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{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} They can't get rid of Duffman. What's next, tear down the Oregon Trail? Disintegrate the [[Lincoln Memorial]]? Impeach [[Santa Claus|Santy Claus]]? I got a notebook full of examples here.
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Duffman was there when I had my first beer at 13, and I want him to be there when I have my last beer at 54.
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{{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} Everyone, everyone. The latest numbers are in.
{{qf|Homer}} Aw, man, he's tied for last place with some loser named ''[heavy accent]'' "No Mascot; Just Logo."
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{{qf|Homer}} Marge, did you sleep with Duffman?
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} No.
{{qf|Homer}} Why not?
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} The explanation is he's a jerk, and I hope he loses.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[gasps]'' Lisa, you wash your mouth out with beer.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I hope he loses, too. Beer, please.
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{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} The thing is, I really do have a daughter, okay? Her name is Amber. She's named after my favorite beverage color, but now she's 30 years old, and she won't talk to me.
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{{qf|Duffman}} Gah, your daughter is so bright and confident.
{{qf|Homer}} She is.
{{qf|Duffman}} So, you must've taught her so much.
{{qf|Homer}} I guess I did.
{{qf|Duffman}} You must be the greatest girl dad i-in the world.
{{qf|Homer}} I must be!
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{{qf|Duffman}} ''[on phone]'' Amber, I was just wondering, um, could I maybe drive up there to see you sometime? Uh, this weekend, maybe? ''[to the group]'' She said, "I guess."
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{{qf|Homer}} Lisa! Lisa, you're coming with me and Duffman on a road trip to [[Glendon Falls]].
{{qf|Lisa}} What? ''[yawns]'' Why would I want to do that?
{{qf|Homer}} Hmm. Marge, why would Lisa want to go to Glendon Falls with me and Duffman?
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{{qf|Homer}} Man, I can't believe I'm on a road trip with my hero.
{{qf|Duffman}} Wow, your little daughter's your hero? That's so sweet.
{{qf|Homer}} And that's exactly who I was referring to.
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{{qf|Duffman}} Said she never wanted to talk to me again, and I guess I just believed her.
{{qf|Homer}} Yes, believe women.
{{qf|Lisa}} No, she was a kid. She didn't mean it.
{{qf|Homer}} Yes, believe Lisa.
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[over announcement]'' Attention, everyone, Duffman is sitting all by himself in Hallway B. Please just go say hi to him. He really needs this. And, uh, don't listen to this if you're him.
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{{qf|[[Renata]]}} I can unlock a lot of things for Duffman, but not this museum.
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{{qf|Homer}} Come on, you got to say something.
{{qf|Lisa}} Something.
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{{qf|[[Amber Duffman]]}} I can't believe you're here because I don't know you, and I did not invite you.
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, what an odd thing to say.
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{{qf|Homer}} If I know Duffman, and I briefly did, nothing was more important to him than seeing you. He was so excited.
{{qf|Amber Duffman}} Really? As excited as he was to miss every dance recital, every graduation, every art show?
{{qf|Homer}} No. More.
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{{qf|Duffman}} I'm sorry, Colleen, but if this teaches you anything, it's that you should work on your relationship with your dad.
{{qf|[[Colleen]]}} ''[scoffs]'' I have a great relationship with my dad. I just also like bikinis and parties, you jerk.
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{{qf|Duffman}} So, the chick magnet is also a daughter magnet, I get it now. All chicks are somebody's daughter.
{{qf|Lisa}} No. Uh-uh.
{{qf|Amber Duffman}} Yeah, try again.
{{qf|Duffman}} Some chicks are guys, and that's okay.
{{qf|Lisa}} Mm... Mm-mm.
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{{qf|Duffman}} Oh, yeah. If any of my other estranged daughters are watching, hit me up.
{{qf|Amber Duffman}} Wait, your what?

{{Season 34|Q}}

@@ Line 11: / Line 11: @@
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 {{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} Everyone, everyone. The latest numbers are in.
-{{qf|Homer}}  Aw, man, he's tied for last place with some loser named ''[heavy accent]'' "No Mascot; Just Logo."
+{{qf|Homer}} Aw, man, he's tied for last place with some loser named ''[heavy accent]'' "No Mascot; Just Logo."
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Marge, did you sleep with Duffman?

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