https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Eerie_Beery%2FQuotes 2026-07-23T05:12:03Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Eerie_Beery/Quotes&diff=1482935&oldid=prev 2026-07-22T17:20:48Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Homer" class="mw-redirect" title="Homer">Homer</a>}} Woo-hoo! We&#039;re here! <a href="/wiki/Henry_K._Duff%27s_Cabin" title="Henry K. Duff's Cabin">The cabin</a> where Henry K. Duff first invented Duff Beer! {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Bart" class="mw-redirect" title="Bart">Bart</a>}} What a dump! {{qf|Ma...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|nogags}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Woo-hoo! We're here! [[Henry K. Duff's Cabin|The cabin]] where Henry K. Duff first invented Duff Beer!<br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} What a dump!<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Homie, you said this was going to be like a resort.<br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} As terrible a start as this vacation has had, it's still not as bad as the time Dad took us on that scavenger hunt on Three Mile Island.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} This cabin is a part of history! Lisa, you like that crap!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} If it wasn't for Henry K. Duff's beer recipe research here at this cabin, Daddy never would have had enough confidence to make most of the major life decisions he's made!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Henry K. Duff]]}} ''[tape recording]'' Henry K. Duff here, recording my findings one last time before what will most likely be my untimely demise.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Booorrrring!<br /> {{qf|Henry K. Duff}} ''[tape recording]'' In my search for the most delicious, yet watered-down flavor of beer, I discovered something truly frightening. When read aloud, the recipe awakens ancient evil spirits that seem to have possessed my wife and children. As tempting as it may be, do not... I repeat, do not read the recipe for Duff Beer out loud! For the love of all things holy, do not--<br /> {{qf|Homer}} ''[reading]'' ...add one ounce hops, stir in six pounds dried malt, strain through a gym sock...<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Dad, no!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Bart}} RRRRAARGH!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} AAAAH! Boy with a chainsaw! I've failed as a parent!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Locked?! How? Why?! Stupid horror movie clichés! Oh... it's a &quot;push&quot; kinda door... hee hee...<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Maggie! Save Daddy and I'll love you unconditionally like a father should!<br /> {{qf|[[Maggie]]}} I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} I'll make a run for it. You find a way to destroy that recipe!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Can't I be the one running away?<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} There's running involved.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Never mind.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} This is for beer drinkers everywhere who have had to tragically murder their possessed families!!!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} What is this place? And do you have any beer?<br /> {{qf|[[Rainier Wolfcastle]]}} We are the most prominent and good-looking members of Springfield. Our wealth and success have given us everything we ever dreamed of. However, we soon grew bored with all forms of legal entertainment.<br /> {{qf|[[The Rich Texan]]}} And most illegal forms, too!<br /> {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Cease your infernal monologuing, you thick dolt! The only spectacle that truly tickles our desensitized fancies is to lure families to this cabin and submit them to Henry K. Duff's beer recipe. The recipe doesn't awaken evil spirits as he thought, but instead creates a potent hallucinogenic known as Duff Vapor... ...That creates a hunger for human flesh!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Mr. Wolfcastle, I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan... ...but what you all are doing is appropriate for a movie, not real life! You lured me and my family into the woods with fake promises of beer... and ruined our family vacation? I'm the only one who ruins our family vacations!<br /> <br /> [[Category:The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror stories quotes]]</div>

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