https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Cruisin%27_for_a_Bruisin%27%2FQuotes 2026-07-21T23:52:43Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Cruisin%27_for_a_Bruisin%27/Quotes&diff=1482497&oldid=prev 2026-07-20T17:21:26Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Homer" class="mw-redirect" title="Homer">Homer</a>}} My wife is dead?!! {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Ned_Flanders" title="Ned Flanders">Ned Flanders</a>}} No, I keep telling you! It&#039;s my wife that passed away! Which is why I&#039;m trying to give you our tic...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|nogags}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} My wife is dead?!!<br /> {{qf|[[Ned Flanders]]}} No, I keep telling you! It's my wife that passed away! Which is why I'm trying to give you our tickets to a romantic couples cruise we booked a year ago.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Well, I'd like to go, Flanders, but I'm terrified of water.<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Thank you, Ned. We'd be happy to take your tickets.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} But Marge.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Oh, Homer. Just call up [[Dr. Hibbert]] and have him cure your rabies! And get rid of [[Mr. Nibbles|that raccoon]]!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Are you thirsty, fella? Hey, Marge! He wants a beer, too!<br /> {{qf|[[Captain McCallister]]}} Noooooooo! Skipper's on the wagon! He was just two days away from his six month AA chip!<br /> {{qf|Marge}} So is Skipper a happy drunk or an angry drunk?<br /> {{qf|{{ap|Skipper|Cruisin' for a Bruisin'}}}} SQUEEEE!!<br /> {{qf|Homer, Marge, and Captain McCallister}} Aaaaaah!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Fine! I'll show you! I'll just start my own cruise ship business!<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Hrrmmm.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Marge, what's with the &quot;hrrmmm&quot;?<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Oh, Homer. 95% of new businesses in Springfield fail in the first year. And 85% of those are started by you.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Marge, this isn't like the snow plow, internet, elephant ride, country music management, grease recycling, bodyguarding, racehorse owning, love potion, chiropractor, beer baroning or daycare businesses. This'll be different!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} You want more time off work? Frankly, Simpson, I'm not even sure you work here any more.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} I still get a paycheck.<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} Taking you off payroll would mean replacing all the accounting department's abacuses. I wish [[Mr. Burns]] would let us use computers.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} I would like to retract my earlier statement about [[God]] and his ship-sinking abilities. I'd also like to take this time to praise [[Buddha]], [[Allah]], and, to a lesser extent, Ra! Give a good word to the man upstairs for us, would you, Reverend?<br /> {{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} Will do!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} How come Bart doesn't have to swab the decks?<br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} I called &quot;no swabbing&quot; first.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Nothing I can do, Lisa. It's the law of the sea.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Marge}} You know, Homer, maybe you should spend less time matchmaking and more time actually steering the ship.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} There's a steering wheel?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Luann Van Houten]]}} Oh you're just bitter because your girlfriend doesn't really exist.<br /> {{qf|[[Kirk Van Houten]]}} Oh, yeah. Well, maybe your boyfriend doesn't exist, either!<br /> {{qf|[[Pyro]]}} I'm right here.<br /> {{qf|Kirk}} You've won this round, Luann!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Mom! Bart's splashing me! And the sharks are getting closer! Mom? Mom?<br /> <br /> [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]]</div>

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