https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Crime_Family_Practice%2FQuotes 2026-07-14T06:37:39Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Crime_Family_Practice/Quotes&diff=1477633&oldid=prev 2026-07-12T22:57:08Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|ngr}} {{qf|Comedian}} Thanks for filling in on such short notice. Wait a minute, aren&#039;t you the guy that was just in the bathroom stealing toilet paper? {{qf|Dr. Nic...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|ngr}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|Comedian}} Thanks for filling in on such short notice. Wait a minute, aren't you the guy that was just in the bathroom stealing toilet paper?<br /> {{qf|[[Dr. Nick]]}} What do you say we take some calls? Line one, you're on with Dr. Nick and some strange comedian!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Barney Gumble]]}} Hello? I haven't burped in five hours. Am I dying?<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} Yes, you are. Why not come to my clinic for a looksee? How's Tuesday at noon?<br /> {{qf|Barney}} [BRAAP!] I'll be there!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} My incredibly high fee will make him forget his certain death. Did I just say that on the air?<br /> {{qf|Comedian}} You ever burp and sneeze at the same time? Now, would that be a &quot;snurp&quot; or a &quot;bneeze&quot;? The funny thing about sneezing is—<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} Line two, I am here to make you healthy!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Fat Tony]]}} I'll cut to the cannoli. You need new patients and my &quot;family&quot; needs a new doctor.<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} You're in luck. I can maybe squeeze you in, say...February?<br /> {{qf|Fat Tony}} Or perhaps, say...right now?!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Legs]]}} Would you mind kindly removing these shoes for me? They're not my size, and frankly, I'm not so fond of the style.<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} Nurse, my jackhammer! Next!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Fat Tony}} Dr. Nick. Perhaps you could be of assistance.<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} Holy hemoglobin, what happened to you?<br /> {{qf|Fat Tony}} Oh this? You know how playful police dogs can get sometimes.<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} All that red stuff...oh, I'm starting to feel a little woozy.<br /> {{qf|Fat Tony}} Dr. Nick, I suggest you quickly get over your squeamishness, or you will be performing emergency surgery to remove my Bruno Magli shoe from the crack of your--<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Dr. Nick}} Hooray! Now I can sue the police and make them give back my doctor's license! Goodbye, everybody!<br /> <br /> [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]]</div>

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