Cranberry Calamity - Revision history

Solar Dragon at 11:52, April 13, 2025

2025-04-13T11:52:09Z

SolarBot: replaced: … → ... (7), * → {{}} (12), {{{{}}}} → {{*}} (12)

2025-03-19T19:17:41Z

replaced: … → ... (7), * → {{*}} (12), {{{{*}}}} → {{*}} (12)

MediocreUsername: /* Pt. 4 */

2025-03-19T17:26:40Z

‎Pt. 4

Solar Dragon at 23:25, March 18, 2025

2025-03-18T23:25:59Z

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Cranberry Calamity |image = |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Blargsgiving}} |requirements = |characters = |optional = |previous = You Don't Make Fr..."

2025-03-18T23:10:51Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Cranberry Calamity |image = |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Blargsgiving}} |requirements = |characters = |optional = |previous = You Don't Make Fr..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = Cranberry Calamity
|image =
|level = 5
|update = {{TOCU|Blargsgiving}}
|requirements =
|characters =
|optional =
|previous = [[You Don't Make Friends With (Fruit) Salad]]
|next = [[The Legend of the Jelly]]
|event = yes
}}

'''Cranberry Calamity''' is an event-exclusive questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Blargsgiving}} content update.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing [[You Don't Make Friends With (Fruit) Salad]]|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Of course I can't find a parking space! This place is the worst. And why is everyone so happy here? Don't these people know they're buying health food?!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|Focus, Homer. We've got a job to do. And by God we're gonna do it!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Eegh. What is this stuff? Swapper O's? Swapper Jack's Okra Chips?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Just my luck. Even this place doesn't have any cranberry sauce. {{*}}sigh{{*}} I guess I'll go tell the family Thanksgiving is cancelled this year.}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|{{*}}psst{{*}} You there. Yeah, you in the tight-fitting mustard-stained shirt.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Snobby}}
{{TB|Hey, at least I'm not ten feet tall with three legs.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Scared}}
{{TB|Oh my God, you're an alien! I always knew there was something fishy about Swapper Jack's!}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|I've travelled back through time and space to experience a traditional Earth Thanksgiving.}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|It's the holiday that will one day inspire Blargsgiving on our planet.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Wait a minute…you speak English?}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|No, I'm mind-melding into your brain. It's much more efficient. Now, did I hear you say you were looking for cranberry sauce?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|You have some?!}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|Not here. Meet me out back in fifteen Earth minutes.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Fifteen Earth minutes? How long is that in my time?}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Fifteen minutes.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|You could have just said that.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans|155}} {{Task/Optional|Make Blarg Alien Meet Homer|4 hours|a {{TOG|Kwik-E-Mart}}, [[Springfield Grocery Store]], [[CostMo]], [[Try-N-Save]], [[Quick & Fresh]], [[Sconewall Bakery]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Blarg Alien]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Go Around Back|4 hours|a {{TOG|Kwik-E-Mart}}, [[Springfield Grocery Store]], [[CostMo]], [[Try-N-Save]], [[Quick & Fresh]], [[Sconewall Bakery]], or a [[Brown House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I have a gift for you, Deluxe Earthling. This is a "special" cranberry sauce from my future world.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Looks pretty good… But there's so little of it.}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|Maybe now, but this sauce will replicate whenever it's fed bones. That means you can have as much cranberry sauce as you like.}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|But heed this warning. NEVER feed it any bones from living creatures. Only bones that are long dead. Do you understand what I have told you?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Gimme the sauce, gimme the sauce!}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|I'll take that as a yes.}}
{{THT|'''Quest reward:''' {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Swapper Jack's]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 1|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|So, definitely not enough cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving dinner. But that alien in the alley said I just need to feed it bones and it'll replicate.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|And when have I ever been known to ignore life advice acquired in an alley?}}
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Mel Icon}}
{{TB|Greetings, Homer. I didn't know you were a patron of "the Swapper".}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Ooh}}
{{TB|Wow, look at the size of that bone in your hair! Hey, Mel, I'll give you fifty bucks for that thing.}}
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Mel Icon|Boo}}
{{TB|I beg your pardon? This bone is one hundred percent authentic Albino Chupacabra. And I should say is worth a fair bit more than fifty dollars.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Sixty.}}
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Mel Icon|No Bone}}
{{TB|Deal! You just paid for my entire "Swapping" excursion. Toodles!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Okay, crazy alien sauce, time to do your stuff!}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans|115}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Feed Mel's Bone to the Sauce|4 hours|[[Swapper Jack's]] or a [[Brown House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Ooh}}
{{TB|Look at all this cranberry sauce! This'll feed everyone! Or at least me.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|But…what if my family eats all this delicious sauce… There'd be none for leftovers tomorrow.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I know! I'll go dig up graves at Springfield Cemetery and use those bones! It's the only logical next step.}}
{{THT|'''Quest reward:''' {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Time Travel Delivery Service]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 2|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Um, Homer? Why are you covered in grave dirt? And what's this giant bog of cranberry sauce doing in the garage?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sarcastic}}
{{TB|What, this? This has been here forever. You're really losin' it, Marge.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|Mmm-hmm. Well, go get cleaned up. My sisters just got here.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Really? Hey Patty and Selma! Come out to the garage! I did something you'll want to belittle me for!}}
{{Tapped Out Patty Icon}}
{{TB|Oh, this'll be good. C'mon, Selma. It sounds like Christmas came a little early this year.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sarcastic}}
{{TB|Come on in, ladies. I hope you've been drinking your milk. Always want to keep those bones strong, am I right?}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans|195}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Feed Patty and Selma to the Sauce|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Patty Tell Homer He's Fat as She's Being Eaten|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Patty]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Selma Tell Homer He's Useless as She's Being Eaten|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Selma]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Jelly Monster Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|{{*}}growling noises{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|I heard a scream! What happened? Ahhhh! What the heck is that?}}
{{Tapped Out Jelly Monster Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|{{*}}raaaaawr{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Horrified}}
{{TB|It looks like even the cranberry sauce gets irritated by your sisters! Run for it!}}
{{THT|'''Quest reward:''' {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Jelly Monster]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 3|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Brockman Icon}}
{{TB|We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. A tornado is currently ripping through Springfield!}}
{{Tapped Out Brockman Icon}}
{{TB|Wait, sorry. Our cue card guy has gotten the pre-written disaster cards mixed up. Just a minute while he gets it sorted.}}
{{Tapped Out Brockman Icon}}
{{TB|We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. Springfield is under attack by a giant jelly monster!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|That's the last time I mind-meld with a space alien.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|Space alien?!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Yeah, you know. The alien who gave me the living space cranberry sauce that turned into that jelly monster when I fed it your aunts?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Eye Roll}}
{{TB|Oh, THAT alien.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Guilty}}
{{TB|In his defense, he DID say not to feed it the bones of the living. So that's on me.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
{{TB|Hmm. So this jelly monster feeds off the bones of the living… I'll need to call for some backup to figure out how to stop this thing from destroying the town.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|Okay but hurry up. Dinner is still at four.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans|110}} {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Call Martin for Help|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Martin Come to the Rescue|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Martin]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|So we know the jelly monster grows whenever it's fed bones.}}
{{Tapped Out Martin Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|My God. It's the perfect organism!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|Uh, I guess? But how do we stop it?}}
{{Tapped Out Martin Icon}}
{{TB|I believe I've deduced the best course of action. Follow me!}}
{{Tapped Out Martin Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|{{*}}voluntarily sacrifices himself to the jelly monster{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|What are you doing?!}}
{{Tapped Out Martin Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I giveth my body to become one with perfection!}}
{{Tapped Out Jelly Monster Icon|Burp}}
{{TB|{{*}}eats Martin's bones{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Grossed Out}}
{{TB|Don't really see why he had to get naked first, but okay…}}
{{THT|'''Quest reward:''' {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Giant Jelly Can]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 4|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Well Dad, there's no stopping the jelly monster. It even erected a giant metal can for itself in the town square!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|Of all the ways I could die, I never thought it would be food that did me in.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|Look, there's a spaceship landing!}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|Relax, Earthlings. That is merely the spacetime vessel of my fellow Blargonians, here to retrieve me and the one you call "Jelly Monster."}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|I was sent ahead to prepare "The Great Jelly." Though I can't take all the credit, as it was your father who turned it into its fully sentient form.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
{{TB|"The Great Jelly"? That thing just wrecked half the town and ate my aunts and my friend from school!}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|Yes, in retrospect, I can see how that might be received as… not "great." I could do a simple re-boning on your aunts and friend if you like.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Just the friend will be fine.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|Actually, wait, Lisa, which friend is it?}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans|185}} {{Task/Optional|Make Blarg Alien Put Everyone's Bones Back|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Blarg Alien]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Be Grossed Out by the Re-boning|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Nearly Faint Watching the Re-boning|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Martin Lose "One With Perfection" Status|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Martin]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|There we are. Re-boned and good as new.}}
{{Tapped Out Martin Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|What happened? I'm back? Am I still one with perfection?}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|Everything is back to the way it was. As my people say, no harm, no foul.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Other than the millions of dollars of property damage?}}
{{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
{{TB|Yes, specifically excluding that.}}
{{THT|'''Quest reward:''' {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Humanity's Hope]]|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/Blargsgiving}}

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Tapped Out Quest
 |name = Cranberry Calamity
-|image =
+|image = [[File:Tapped Out Cranberry Calamity Sidebar.png|x100px]]
 |level = 5
 |update = {{TOCU|Blargsgiving}}
@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 |characters = [[Homer]], [[Lisa]]
 |optional = [[Blarg Alien]], [[Patty]], [[Selma]], [[Martin]], See [[#Currency-earning jobs|Currency-earning jobs]]
 |previous = [[You Don't Make Friends With (Fruit) Salad]]
 |next = [[The Legend of the Jelly]]

@@ Line 37: / Line 37: @@
 {{TB|It's the holiday that will one day inspire Blargsgiving on our planet.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
-{{TB|Wait a minute…you speak English?}}
+{{TB|Wait a minute...you speak English?}}
 {{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
 {{TB|No, I'm mind-melding into your brain. It's much more efficient. Now, did I hear you say you were looking for cranberry sauce?}}
@@ Line 54: / Line 54: @@
 {{TB|I have a gift for you, Deluxe Earthling. This is a "special" cranberry sauce from my future world.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
-{{TB|Looks pretty good… But there's so little of it.}}
+{{TB|Looks pretty good... But there's so little of it.}}
 {{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
 {{TB|Maybe now, but this sauce will replicate whenever it's fed bones. That means you can have as much cranberry sauce as you like.}}
@@ Line 89: / Line 89: @@
 {{TB|Look at all this cranberry sauce! This'll feed everyone! Or at least me.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
-{{TB|But…what if my family eats all this delicious sauce… There'd be none for leftovers tomorrow.}}
+{{TB|But...what if my family eats all this delicious sauce... There'd be none for leftovers tomorrow.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
 {{TB|I know! I'll go dig up graves at Springfield Cemetery and use those bones! It's the only logical next step.}}
@@ Line 142: / Line 142: @@
 {{TB|In his defense, he DID say not to feed it the bones of the living. So that's on me.}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
-{{TB|Hmm. So this jelly monster feeds off the bones of the living… I'll need to call for some backup to figure out how to stop this thing from destroying the town.}}
+{{TB|Hmm. So this jelly monster feeds off the bones of the living... I'll need to call for some backup to figure out how to stop this thing from destroying the town.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
 {{TB|Okay but hurry up. Dinner is still at four.}}
@@ Line 163: / Line 163: @@
 {{TB|{{*}}eats Martin's bones{{*}}}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Grossed Out}}
-{{TB|Don't really see why he had to get naked first, but okay…}}
+{{TB|Don't really see why he had to get naked first, but okay...}}
 {{THT|'''Quest reward:''' {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>[[Giant Jelly Can]]|colspan=2}}
 }}
@@ Line 183: / Line 183: @@
 {{TB|"The Great Jelly"? That thing just wrecked half the town and ate my aunts and my friend from school!}}
 {{Tapped Out Blarg Alien Icon}}
-{{TB|Yes, in retrospect, I can see how that might be received as… not "great." I could do a simple re-boning on your aunts and friend if you like.}}
+{{TB|Yes, in retrospect, I can see how that might be received as... not "great." I could do a simple re-boning on your aunts and friend if you like.}}
 {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
 {{TB|Just the friend will be fine.}}