Children of an Angry God - Revision history

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replaced: … → ... (6)

Solar Dragon at 21:25, September 23, 2025

2025-09-23T21:25:45Z

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Children of an Angry God |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait}} |..."

2025-09-23T21:15:02Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Children of an Angry God |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait}} |..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = Children of an Angry God
|image = [[File:Tapped Out Children of an Angry God Sidebar.png|x100px]]
|level = 15
|update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait}}
|requirements =
|characters =
|optional =
|internal = ChildrenOfAnAngryGod
|id = 267001 - 267005
|previous = [[Peace Was Never an Option]]
|next = [[The Gates of Wrath]]
|event = yes
}}

'''Children of an Angry God''' is an event-exclusive questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait}} content update.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing [[Peace Was Never an Option]]|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Okay, I've had enough of your collective nonsense!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|You're really that upset about us not being into peace and love and all that stupid stuff?}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|That and dogs being allowed in restaurants, people worshipping their cell phones, there being eight million streaming services now…}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|If I wanted humanity to pay streaming subscription fees, I wouldn't have created commercially-supported broadcast!}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|And don't get me started about meme stocks, Elon fanboys, dad-jokes, dad-bods, dad-anything…}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Hippie lettuce being legal…}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon}}
{{TB|No, I'm cool with that. I created that so people would chill out.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|But you didn't, so now it's time for "The Great Flood 2: Wetter and Wilder"!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Oooh, that sounds fun! Like Spring Break for everyone.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|No, not like that at all.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Forbidden Fruits|115}} {{Task/Optional|Make God Prepare to Flood the Earth|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Quimby Compound]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[God]]}} {{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders|Springfielders}} Panic|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Quimby Compound]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|5}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Wonder if Gil is Selling Flood Insurance|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Quimby Compound]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Barnacle Bay Church]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 1|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|But Our Heavenly Father-eeno, you can't do that!}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|What part of "omnipotent being" don't you understand? Being the all-powerful creator of all things, I assure you I very much can!}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Other than not wanting to die, give me a good argument why I should spare you all.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Uh…}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|That's what I thought.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Lisa, you know how to make annoying arguments that I can't refute through logic and facts. Say something!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|God, I think if you look at the demographic data, you'll see that the younger generations are embracing peace, love, and acceptance like never before.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|We do score a bit high in "sense of superiority," but that's just because we're more honest, too.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Smug}}
{{TB|We shouldn't be punished for the sins of the preceding three hundred generations. Now, if you want to just get rid of everyone over the age of forty…}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Yeah! Do that. Wait, what?}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon}}
{{TB|Ugh, FINE. I'll give humanity a do-over. But you really better not blow it this time! I'm feeling very Wrath of Me right now.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Forbidden Fruits|155}} {{Task/Optional|Make God Create a New Garden of Eden|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Quimby Compound]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[God]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Ned Feel Grateful for God's Benevolence|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Quimby Compound]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}} {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Fear Human Nature|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Quimby Compound]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|You created a new Garden of Eden?}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon}}
{{TB|Too 90s comedy? {{*}}sighs{{*}} I've been carrying it around for a while. Can't you see the poster — Jim Carrey eating an apple out of Daryl Hannah's hand while the snake stares at the bulge in his leaf? Hilarious! Coulda been a hit.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|But no! Tom Shadyac can make movies about the Almighty, but the Almighty can't sell a movie that sounds like a Tom Shadyac idea!}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|You caught me off guard, and I couldn't think of anything fresher.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Thank you, Lord! But if there's a new Garden of Eden, is there a new Adam and Eve too?}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Oh my! This fig leaf really doesn't leave anything to the imagination.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Then who am I? I don't know me from Adam!}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon}}
{{TB|That's who you are — Adam! You can tell because you don't have a belly-button.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|You don't have a belly-button either!}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon}}
{{TB|That's because I was made from one of your ribs.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Eek! My rib! How could you, Eve?}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Don't worry. It grew back!}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Oooh, I know what I'm having for dinner. Bottomless ribs — this place really is paradise!}}
{{Tapped Out Old Scratch Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Say, God, could I interest you in a little wager on whether or not humanity is going to screw up their latest second chance?}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|No bet.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Tree of Knowledge]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 2|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon}}
{{TB|If we're Adam and Eve, we should probably go into the Garden of Eden — or at least The Gap. You don't have to be conscious of shame to notice that everyone else has clothes on.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Okay, but I'm not doing any gardening. The sweat of my brow is the one thing I'm never going to earn my living by.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon}}
{{TB|The sweat of my back against a hammock is another matter entirely.}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Mr. Burns! What are you doing here at the new Garden of Eden?}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
{{TB|Charging admission. Technically God placed it on land that I own.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|What?! Don't you realize God is about to kill everyone for being greedy and terrible?}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
{{TB|Oh, the flood thing? You obviously don't realize how big my yacht is, child.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Diabolical}}
{{TB|I made the Netherlands lower their country even further below sea level just so I could dock it next to a windmill.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Embarrassed}}
{{TB|Mr. Burns, sir, I hate to mention this but we need to get into the garden. An Eden without Adam and Eve is like an Awesome Show without Tim and Eric.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Very well, you may go in. The real money is in my forbidden fruit monopoly anyway.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Forbidden fruit? That sounds delicious!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Dad, are you serious? You don't even like fruit!}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon}}
{{TB|That's just regular fruit. Making it forbidden is like adding frosting and sprinkles to a donut.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Forbidden Fruits|155}} {{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders|Springfielders}} Pay to Enter the Garden of Eden|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]|5}} {{Task/Optional|Make Burns Overcharge for Forbidden Fruit|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Mr. Burns]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Yearn to Eat Forbidden Fruit|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Mr. Burns]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Well, at least with Mr. Burns charging so much for forbidden fruit, no one will be able to afford to eat any.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Eating Fruit}}
{{TB|{{*}}NOM NOM NOM{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Alarmed}}
{{TB|Dad, how could you — and how did you even afford to buy any?!}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I took out four mortgages on the Garden. We're in hock up to the snake.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Besides, with the flood insurance I bought from Gil, we're going to come out big winners on the other side of this flood!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|{{*}}sigh{{*}}}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Gary the Unicorn]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 3|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Mr. Burns, I don't mean to complain, but this is a new garden paradise given to us by God, and it's being torn up by bulldozers and giant chainsaws!}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Isn't it glorious? I'm mining below the ground and building luxury residential towers on it! And when the towers fall into the mines, I'll build more. It's a capitalist paradise!}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Hmm, there's something about despoiling the Garden of Eden that doesn't seem like a great idea.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Yeah, don't be so silly, Eve! Rich old guys are really smart or they wouldn't be rich. We can trust them to always have the interests of non-rich people at heart.}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Mr. Burns, are you okay? You look like you're choking.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Diabolical}}
{{TB|No, I was just laughing.}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|But doesn't it seem like we're just making the same mistakes that made God want to wipe out humanity in the first place?}}
{{Tapped Out Adam Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|I don't understand.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Thinking}}
{{TB|Are you even speaking English?}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Nevermind. I need to get out of here.}}
{{Tapped Out Gary the Unicorn Icon}}
{{TB|I can help with that!}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|A unicorn?!}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|If it isn't the kind that has a pre-IPO market cap of at least one billion, I'm not interested.}}
{{Tapped Out Gary the Unicorn Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|We never got past Series A.}}
{{Tapped Out Gary the Unicorn Icon}}
{{TB|But if I can gallop over rainbows, I can get you out of this Garden.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Forbidden Fruits|155}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Believe Rich Guys Are All Smart|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Marge Escape From the New Garden of Eden|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon}}
{{TB|Thanks, Gary. I didn't know unicorns could dig tunnels like that. Why didn't you just leap over the walls?}}
{{Tapped Out Gary the Unicorn Icon|Exhausted}}
{{TB|Oh, wow. You're right. That would have been way easier.}}
{{Tapped Out Gary the Unicorn Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Another stupid screw-up, Gary! Are you starting to see the pattern, Gary? Because everybody else sees it!}}
{{Tapped Out Gary the Unicorn Icon}}
{{TB|Anyway, Marge, I hope you find happiness out there.}}
{{Tapped Out Eve Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|You're not coming?}}
{{Tapped Out Gary the Unicorn Icon}}
{{TB|Nah. I'm gonna stick around here and stab rich guys in the butt with my horn.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Springfield Cathedral]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 4|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
{{TB|This is insane! You're turning a brand-new paradise into a lifeless hellscape!}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Diabolical}}
{{TB|The customer is always right…and my customer is always Satan!}}
{{Tapped Out The Devil Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|We're expanding Hell to accommodate the Hell-less.}}
{{Tapped Out The Devil Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|You don't support Hell-less-ness do you, Lisa?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|That's a false framing!}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Forbidden Fruits|195}} {{Task/Optional|Make The Devil Exploit Liberal Guilt|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]|char={{The Devil}}}} {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Feel Exploited|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|Mr. Flanders, can you talk to them, businessman-to-businessman?}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Sorry, Lisa, but the Hell-less need to be helled somewhere.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Mr. Burns doesn't care about Hell-less-ness! He's just exploiting the issue to push through his greedy real estate development.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|I'm disappointed in you, Lisa. I knew we'd run into some NIMPYs but I never thought you'd be one of them!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|{{*}}sigh{{*}} Fine. What's a NIMPY?}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Diabolical}}
{{TB|Not In My Paradise-Y's.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|So you just tack on a "Y" at the end?}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|It's not perfect. I'll be the first to admit it.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}} [[Adam]]|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/Heaven Won't Wait}}

@@ Line 25: / Line 25: @@
 {{TB|You're really that upset about us not being into peace and love and all that stupid stuff?}}
 {{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
-{{TB|That and dogs being allowed in restaurants, people worshipping their cell phones, there being eight million streaming services now…}}
+{{TB|That and dogs being allowed in restaurants, people worshipping their cell phones, there being eight million streaming services now...}}
 {{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
 {{TB|If I wanted humanity to pay streaming subscription fees, I wouldn't have created commercially-supported broadcast!}}
 {{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
-{{TB|And don't get me started about meme stocks, Elon fanboys, dad-jokes, dad-bods, dad-anything…}}
+{{TB|And don't get me started about meme stocks, Elon fanboys, dad-jokes, dad-bods, dad-anything...}}
 {{Tapped Out Quimby Icon|Angry}}
-{{TB|Hippie lettuce being legal…}}
+{{TB|Hippie lettuce being legal...}}
 {{Tapped Out God Icon}}
 {{TB|No, I'm cool with that. I created that so people would chill out.}}
@@ Line 54: / Line 54: @@
 {{TB|Other than not wanting to die, give me a good argument why I should spare you all.}}
 {{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Confused}}
-{{TB|Uh…}}
+{{TB|Uh...}}
 {{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
 {{TB|That's what I thought.}}
@@ Line 64: / Line 64: @@
 {{TB|We do score a bit high in "sense of superiority," but that's just because we're more honest, too.}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Smug}}
-{{TB|We shouldn't be punished for the sins of the preceding three hundred generations. Now, if you want to just get rid of everyone over the age of forty…}}
+{{TB|We shouldn't be punished for the sins of the preceding three hundred generations. Now, if you want to just get rid of everyone over the age of forty...}}
 {{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Confused}}
 {{TB|Yeah! Do that. Wait, what?}}
@@ Line 203: / Line 203: @@
 {{TB|This is insane! You're turning a brand-new paradise into a lifeless hellscape!}}
 {{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Diabolical}}
-{{TB|The customer is always right…and my customer is always Satan!}}
+{{TB|The customer is always right...and my customer is always Satan!}}
 {{Tapped Out The Devil Icon|Happy}}
 {{TB|We're expanding Hell to accommodate the Hell-less.}}

@@ Line 5: / Line 5: @@
 |update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait}}
 |requirements =
-|characters =
+|characters = {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders}}, [[Homer]], [[Ned]], [[Lisa]]
-|optional =
+|optional = [[God]], [[Mr. Burns]], [[Marge]], {{The Devil}}, See [[#Currency-earning jobs|Currency-earning jobs]]
 |internal = ChildrenOfAnAngryGod
 |id = 267001 - 267005
@@ Line 229: / Line 229: @@
 {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}<br>[[Adam]]|colspan=2}}
 }}
 {{Tapped Out Quests/Heaven Won't Wait}}