https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Burns_the_Regular_Joe%2FQuotes 2026-04-13T13:09:17Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Burns_the_Regular_Joe/Quotes&diff=1453353&oldid=prev 2026-03-29T18:39:49Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|ngr}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Waylon_Smithers" class="mw-redirect" title="Waylon Smithers">Waylon Smithers</a>}} Everyone thinks Monty Burns is a cold, calculating billionaire living in his mansion on the hill. But if you could just spend a day wi...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|ngr}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Everyone thinks Monty Burns is a cold, calculating billionaire living in his mansion on the hill. But if you could just spend a day with him like I do, you'd see he's just a regular Joe like you and me.<br /> {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Smithers! Get the [[Pope]] on the phone and peel me a raisin!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} ''[narration]'' 7:30 AM: Breakfast is a simple affair, dry rye toast and a single hard-boiled egg.<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} Sir, that's a Fabergé egg.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} [CRUNCH] If Tsar Nicholas can eat them, so can I! [CRUNCH]<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} ''[narration]'' 11:15 AM: Though Mr. Burns works hard for his money, he's not above hangin' out at the water cooler, talkin' about the boss.<br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} But I say the biggest pencil-neck wiener of all is Montgomery Burns, or your name isn't Bernie Montgomery!<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} ''[to Smithers]'' Put him in *the device.*<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} ''[narration]'' 4:15 PM: He's been so busy, he almost forgot the PTA bake sale!<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Instead of an oven, I used fission rods. I call them &quot;Plutoni-yums&quot;!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} ''[narration]'' 7:34 PM: Nothing like a little old-time romance to end the evening.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} So, [[Al Jolson|Jolson]] and I are capering about the room like a couple of--wait a minute! You're not [[Lillian Gish]]!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Smithers}} ''[narration]'' 8:03 PM: So there you have it. A simple, unassuming day in the life of good ol' Monty Burns. The only thing left is a humble conversation with the man upstairs--the one who made it all possible.<br /> {{qf|Mr. Burns}} I prayed for locusts to strike my competitors, not those piddly union troubles! You're fired! Smithers! Bring in the golden calf!<br /> <br /> [[Category:Comic strips quotes]]</div>

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