https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Bart_Simpson%27s_Bible_Stories%2FQuotes 2026-05-12T04:19:54Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Bart_Simpson%27s_Bible_Stories/Quotes&diff=1338721&oldid=prev 2024-10-28T17:04:33Z

<p>‎<span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">top: </span> replaced: Beardsley → Beardley</span></p> <table class="diff diff-contentalign-left" data-mw="interface"> <col class='diff-marker' /> <col class='diff-content' /> <col class='diff-marker' /> <col class='diff-content' /> <tr style='vertical-align: top;' lang='en'> <td colspan='2' style="background-color: white; color:black; text-align: center;">← Older revision</td> <td colspan='2' style="background-color: white; color:black; text-align: center;">Revision as of 17:04, October 28, 2024</td> </tr><tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno" id="mw-diff-left-l21" >Line 21:</td> <td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno">Line 21:</td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{qf|Grampa}} Hey there, Job. What's new?</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{qf|Grampa}} Hey there, Job. What's new?</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{qf|[[Jasper <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">Beardsley</del>|Job]]}} Oh hi, Abe. God's been testing me. My oxen died, my sheep were set on fire, my kids had a house fall on 'em, and I'm covered in these painful sores. Can't complain though. How about you?</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{qf|[[Jasper <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">Beardley</ins>|Job]]}} Oh hi, Abe. God's been testing me. My oxen died, my sheep were set on fire, my kids had a house fall on 'em, and I'm covered in these painful sores. Can't complain though. How about you?</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{qf|Grampa}} God just told me to have a bunch of children with my beautiful wife Sarah.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{qf|Grampa}} God just told me to have a bunch of children with my beautiful wife Sarah.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{qf|Job}} ''[pauses]'' God's pet.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{qf|Job}} ''[pauses]'' God's pet.</div></td></tr> </table>

SolarBot https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Bart_Simpson%27s_Bible_Stories/Quotes&diff=1077150&oldid=prev 2021-07-19T19:45:16Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Bart" class="mw-redirect" title="Bart">Bart</a>}} Look, God made everything, right? {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Rod_Flanders" title="Rod Flanders">Rod Flanders</a>}} Yes. {{qf|Bart}} And so he made TV. And God is perfect, right? {{qf|[[Todd Flanders]...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|nogags}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Look, God made everything, right?<br /> {{qf|[[Rod Flanders]]}} Yes.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} And so he made TV. And God is perfect, right?<br /> {{qf|[[Todd Flanders]]}} Yes.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} So TV must be perfect, right?<br /> {{qf|Rod}} I guess so.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Yo, Milhouse! I got a bag of gold. Wanna blow this town?<br /> {{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} You bet! This place is so Old Testament!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} You could help with the plow sometime!<br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} That would be the sin of coveting my wife who has the job of my ox and my ass.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} I'd like to read those commandments you're always quoting sometime.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Narrator}} Abraham was ninety-nine when God spoke to him.<br /> {{qf|[[God]]}} Abe, I have a Job for you!<br /> {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} What's that? Speak up!<br /> {{qf|God}} I have something I need you to do!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} Hey there, Job. What's new?<br /> {{qf|[[Jasper Beardsley|Job]]}} Oh hi, Abe. God's been testing me. My oxen died, my sheep were set on fire, my kids had a house fall on 'em, and I'm covered in these painful sores. Can't complain though. How about you?<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} God just told me to have a bunch of children with my beautiful wife Sarah.<br /> {{qf|Job}} ''[pauses]'' God's pet.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|God}} Abe! You must offer your son as a burns sacrifice to prove your faith!<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} Sacrifice my son! Got it!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Who are you talking to daddy?<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} Oh, no one.<br /> ----<br /> :''[more time passed...]''<br /> {{qf|God}} Um... Abraham, about that sacrifice.<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} Right, right, I'm on it.<br /> ----<br /> :''[even more time passed...]''<br /> {{qf|God}} Abe! I won't say this again! Sacrifice your son now!!<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} Well, this is the first I've heard of it.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} You can either reject God and walk all the way down the mountain, or I can carry you home in this nice comfy urn!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} It is a long walk. I wish we belonged to one of those non-sacrificing religions.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} Listen, son, you've helped me out, so if there's anything I can do for you, just name it!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Well... I'd really like that bike I never got for [[Christmas]].<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} How come they get every animal on Earth, and I can't even have a pony?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Rod and Todd}} ''[singing]'' God said to Noah there's gonna be a floody floody!<br /> {{qf|{{ap|Noah|Bible}}}} Boys come inside and let the people drown in peace!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Rod}} Daddy, mommy's gone to Heaven.<br /> {{qf|Noah}} Well, that's gonna make repopulating the Earth a real dilly of a pickle.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Noah}} Wait a minute! All the sinners are still alive!<br /> {{qf|[[Sideshow Bob]]}} Yes, we were saved by the leprechauns.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Bart}} And so everyone in the Bible lived happily ever after. Except for [[Satan]]. The end.<br /> <br /> [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]]</div>

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