https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Bart%27s_in_Jail%21%2FQuotes 2026-04-22T11:23:03Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Bart%27s_in_Jail!/Quotes&diff=1094163&oldid=prev 2021-10-06T16:22:59Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|nogags}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Star of the Backstage|Treehouse of Horror XXXII}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Grampa" class="mw-redirect" title="Grampa">Grampa</a>}} We sure lucked out with this new gig. Half day on Christmas, unpa...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|nogags}}<br /> {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Star of the Backstage|Treehouse of Horror XXXII}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} We sure lucked out with this new gig. Half day on Christmas, unpaid polio leave, and all the bread crumbs you can sweep.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} Oh, thank goodness you're out!<br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Okay, okay, enough with the smooches.<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} I don't care what you've done. All that matters is that no grandson of mine's gonna go to jail.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Jail? Are you off your meds or on new meds?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Um, uh, let me go microwave your slippers.<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} I don't deserve warm toes. I'm nothing but a feeble, useless, old idjit.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} I had an inheritance and you gave it away? I'm so mad I could kill you, but now I'd get nothing. I hope you live forever!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Marge, if I may, I-I dealt with a similar situation with my mother. She got a phone call claiming punk rockers were threatening to cut my hair into a Mohawk, which is a distinctive hairstyle...<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} I know what it is.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Support group leader}} Now, these are the things you should never say to a victim. &quot;I would never have fallen for that,&quot; &quot;Everyone knows about that scam,&quot; and &quot;What were you thinking?&quot;<br /> {{qf|Homer}} ''[to Grampa]'' I would have never fallen for that! Everyone knows about that scam! What were you thinking?!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Dad, anyone can get scammed. Even me. I paid the bullies for wedgie insurance. But the minute I got a wedgie, bam! I got hit with a deductible... Another wedgie! And my rates went up.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} That's why I never get any insurance.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} [[Cutlife]] is a famous multi-level marketing company. Dad, you fell for a pyramid scheme.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Scheme? No way. They didn't even want to let me join. But, luckily, at the last minute, a space opened up.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} How many knives have you even sold?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} I don't sell them. I engage opportunity handlers to distributize them for me, the expandibution manager. It's all part of Charles E. Cutlife's three-dimensional triangle system.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Kids, today you're gonna learn an important lesson: sometimes the sheep get back their wool.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} No, they don't. They just grow more wool.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} What are you, a shepherd?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|{{ap|Loki|Norse mythology}}}} With that deep-fried morsel, my victory is complete.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Uh, we're all seeing the freak in the sandals, right?<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Yes, but this can't be real. We probably just ate too many wasabi mac and cheese balls.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Loki}} Silence, you mewling wretches, for I am Loki, god of mischief. But I am known by many names and take many forms.<br /> {{qf|[[Bill Cipher]]}} Buy crypto, suckers!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} Your Social Security number has been compromised. Please give us your Social Security number so we can keep it safe. I met my billionaire boyfriend on Billionaire Match. Match with billions of billionaires for only $4.95 a month. If you or your family have used toilet paper in the last year, you can join us in a class action lawsuit. We have found nude photos of you. If you want these removed and/or touched up, please press 1 now. This is Jerry down at whatever bank you use. We lost your PIN number. Can you send it to us?<br /> <br /> {{Season 33|Q}}</div>

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