Aunt Misbehavin'/Quotes - Revision history

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Solar Dragon at 18:53, December 1, 2025

2025-12-01T18:53:01Z

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{TabQ|nogags}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Day of the Jack-Up|Guess Who's Coming to Skinner}} {{qf|{{ap|Ken|Aunt Misbehavin'}}}} Morning, ladies. {{qf|Patty Bouvier}} Get o..."

2025-12-01T18:52:32Z

Created page with "{{TabQ|nogags}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Day of the Jack-Up|Guess Who's Coming to Skinner}} {{qf|{{ap|Ken|Aunt Misbehavin'}}}} Morning, ladies. {{qf|Patty Bouvier}} Get o..."

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{{TabQ|nogags}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Day of the Jack-Up|Guess Who's Coming to Skinner}}

{{qf|{{ap|Ken|Aunt Misbehavin'}}}} Morning, ladies.
{{qf|[[Patty Bouvier]]}} Get off our case, Ken.
{{qf|[[Selma Bouvier]]}} We're working as fast as we can. We're human beings, you toad.
----
{{qf|Ken}} Heads, so the new supervisor is, um… the one with the circle earrings.
{{qf|Selma}} Selma.
{{qf|Patty}} We're two different people, Ken.
{{qf|Ken}} You still share the same e-mail?
{{qf|Patty and Selma}} Yes.
----
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} If he mouth-cookied a dentist, he'd be all like, "Who else could I mouth-cookie?" My life would be so awesome if Mom had never met him.
----
{{qf|Patty}} I know a way to kill your dad.
{{qf|Bart}} Whoa, whoa. I don't want to murder the guy. Oh, crap. Now I'm intrigued. Explain.
----
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} That's strange. According to the state database, you're… you're dead.
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Dead? Can I still rent a U-Haul?
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} You do seem alive, but this police machine is in charge, so I can't give you a ticket.
----
{{qf|Homer}} I should have died years ago.
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{{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} ''[gasps]'' It's just hitting me now. You two are twins!
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[on the phone]'' Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. I'm sorry she said that, Patty. Hold one sec. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Selma, you can call her an A, you can call her a B, but you can't call her a… Ho-Hold one sec. Yes, Lenny, I know they're twins.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Honey, life is so short. Certainly mine was. So, take it from your late husband, ghost those hags.
----
{{qf|Selma}} Patty's out of control. First, she gets a ridiculous haircut. And did I tell you what condiments she got on the TV remote?
{{qf|Marge}} Yes, but Lisa hasn't heard yet. Why don't you tell her?
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Under the bus, huh, Mom?
----
{{qf|{{ap|Rusty|Aunt Misbehavin'}}}} You don't have a fear of extreme pain, do you?
{{qf|Patty}} No, I have a fear of stupid questions.
{{qf|Rusty}} I think I'm gonna enjoy this.
----
{{qf|Patty}} Who the hell are you?
{{qf|[[Merle]]}} Merle. I'm your sister's new nighttime friend, and you must be the infamous twin.
{{qf|Patty}} Did you sleep over?
{{qf|Merle}} Well, I didn't break in.
----
{{qf|Patty}} I should've done this years ago. I feel so free. This is a queer paradise. We have slurs for straight people here and the obscene amount of water wasted keeping this place green… I love it.
----
{{qf|Patty}} So you're applying to change a kitchen faucet in your 1948 Albert Frey house.
{{qf|[[Stylish patron]]}} We found a perfect match to the original Pfister center set hammered copper faucet.
{{qf|Patty}} Hmm. I'm not seeing patina.
{{qf|Stylish patron}} Y-Yeah, that's because it's new, but with time--
{{qf|Patty}} Time is a luxury you do not have.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} I think Selma's just pretending to like Merle. She makes him go to [[Starbucks]] to use the bathroom, and she makes him sleep on the porch of her building. He's like her outdoor cat.
----
{{qf|Homer}} As someone who's already dead, it kills me to say this. There is one way into the Amex VIP lounge.
----
{{qf|Merle}} Amex? ''[chuckles]'' No problem. We all sign up for Air Shelbyville credit cards for, you can't believe they're being so dumb, a 100K bonus miles each. Then we take a short flight to [[Sioux Falls]] which will skyrocket us to the diamond-mile tier, which we will immediately transfer to [[[[Comfort Lodge Motel|Comfort Lodge]] Discover Plus cards. After just one night in their guaranteed suites program, we are earning 5x, 10x, the multiples are insane. And then we bring it all home by booking a hot air balloon, prime rib adventure for 20 people and then immediately canceling it. And that will get Homer to one million points or tickets to the[[ Subaru Dr. Martens LPGA Tournament]], VIP Amex Lounge.
----
{{qf|Bouncer}} I'm sorry, sir, but it says here you're dead.
{{qf|Homer}} That's correct.
{{qf|Bouncer}} Well, we can't let you in. All your tickets are void because the cardholder is deceased.
----
{{qf|Marge}} And, Selma, do you really want to be with Merle?
{{qf|Selma}} No, I'm miserable! The sex is fine, but the endless cuddling after is killing me.
{{qf|Merle}} I'm a cuddler. Sex to me is foreplay. Cuddling is the main event.

{{Season 37|Q}}

@@ Line 6: / Line 6: @@
 {{qf|[[Selma Bouvier]]}} We're working as fast as we can. We're human beings, you toad.
 ----
-{{qf|Ken}} Heads, so the new supervisor is, um… the one with the circle earrings.
+{{qf|Ken}} Heads, so the new supervisor is, um... the one with the circle earrings.
 {{qf|Selma}} Selma.
 {{qf|Patty}} We're two different people, Ken.
@@ Line 17: / Line 17: @@
 {{qf|Bart}} Whoa, whoa. I don't want to murder the guy. Oh, crap. Now I'm intrigued. Explain.
 ----
-{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} That's strange. According to the state database, you're… you're dead.
+{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} That's strange. According to the state database, you're... you're dead.
 {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Dead? Can I still rent a U-Haul?
 {{qf|Chief Wiggum}} You do seem alive, but this police machine is in charge, so I can't give you a ticket.
@@ Line 25: / Line 25: @@
 {{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} ''[gasps]'' It's just hitting me now. You two are twins!
 ----
-{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[on the phone]'' Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. I'm sorry she said that, Patty. Hold one sec. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Selma, you can call her an A, you can call her a B, but you can't call her a… Ho-Hold one sec. Yes, Lenny, I know they're twins.
+{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[on the phone]'' Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. I'm sorry she said that, Patty. Hold one sec. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Selma, you can call her an A, you can call her a B, but you can't call her a... Ho-Hold one sec. Yes, Lenny, I know they're twins.
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} Honey, life is so short. Certainly mine was. So, take it from your late husband, ghost those hags.
@@ Line 42: / Line 42: @@
 {{qf|Merle}} Well, I didn't break in.
 ----
-{{qf|Patty}} I should've done this years ago. I feel so free. This is a queer paradise. We have slurs for straight people here and the obscene amount of water wasted keeping this place green… I love it.
+{{qf|Patty}} I should've done this years ago. I feel so free. This is a queer paradise. We have slurs for straight people here and the obscene amount of water wasted keeping this place green... I love it.
 ----
 {{qf|Patty}} So you're applying to change a kitchen faucet in your 1948 Albert Frey house.

@@ Line 54: / Line 54: @@
 {{qf|Homer}} As someone who's already dead, it kills me to say this. There is one way into the Amex VIP lounge.
 ----
-{{qf|Merle}} Amex? ''[chuckles]'' No problem. We all sign up for Air Shelbyville credit cards for, you can't believe they're being so dumb, a 100K bonus miles each. Then we take a short flight to [[Sioux Falls]] which will skyrocket us to the diamond-mile tier, which we will immediately transfer to [[[[Comfort Lodge Motel|Comfort Lodge]] Discover Plus cards. After just one night in their guaranteed suites program, we are earning 5x, 10x, the multiples are insane. And then we bring it all home by booking a hot air balloon, prime rib adventure for 20 people and then immediately canceling it. And that will get Homer to one million points or tickets to the[[ Subaru Dr. Martens LPGA Tournament]], VIP Amex Lounge.
+{{qf|Merle}} Amex? ''[chuckles]'' No problem. We all sign up for Air Shelbyville credit cards for, you can't believe they're being so dumb, a 100K bonus miles each. Then we take a short flight to [[Sioux Falls]] which will skyrocket us to the diamond-mile tier, which we will immediately transfer to [[Comfort Lodge Motel|Comfort Lodge]] Discover Plus cards. After just one night in their guaranteed suites program, we are earning 5x, 10x, the multiples are insane. And then we bring it all home by booking a hot air balloon, prime rib adventure for 20 people and then immediately canceling it. And that will get Homer to one million points or tickets to the[[ Subaru Dr. Martens LPGA Tournament]], VIP Amex Lounge.
 ----
 {{qf|Bouncer}} I'm sorry, sir, but it says here you're dead.