https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Absolutely_Crushing_ItAbsolutely Crushing It - Revision history2026-04-05T04:48:34ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.29.0https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Absolutely_Crushing_It&diff=1404946&oldid=prevSolarBot: /* Pt. 4 */ replaced: … → ...2025-06-24T21:10:56Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Pt. 4: </span> replaced: … → ...</span></p>
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<td colspan='2' style="background-color: white; color:black; text-align: center;">← Older revision</td>
<td colspan='2' style="background-color: white; color:black; text-align: center;">Revision as of 21:10, June 24, 2025</td>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{TB|So far you've mostly been on a lunch break <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">so…ninety</del>-nine and a half hours to go.}}</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{TB|So far you've mostly been on a lunch break <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">so...ninety</ins>-nine and a half hours to go.}}</div></td></tr>
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</table>SolarBothttps://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Absolutely_Crushing_It&diff=1404798&oldid=prevSolar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Absolutely Crushing It |image = x100px |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Treehouse of Horror XXXI..."2025-06-24T16:23:37Z<p>Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Absolutely Crushing It |image = <a href="/wiki/File:Tapped_Out_Sentient_Lard_Lad_Statue_Sidebar.png" title="File:Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Sidebar.png">x100px</a> |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Treehouse of Horror XXXI..."</p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{Tapped Out Quest<br />
|name = Absolutely Crushing It<br />
|image = [[File:Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Sidebar.png|x100px]]<br />
|level = 5<br />
|update = {{TOCU|Treehouse of Horror XXXII}}<br />
|requirements = <br />
|characters = [[Sentient Lard Lad Statue]], {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders}}<br />
|optional = [[Sideshow Bob]]<br />
|internal = AbsolutelyCrushingIt<br />
|id = 249034 - 249037<br />
|previous = <br />
|next = <br />
|premium = yes<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''Absolutely Crushing It''' is a premium questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Treehouse of Horror XXXII}} content update. It requires [[Sentient Lard Lad Statue]] to be obtained.<br />
<br />
== Dialogue ==<br />
=== Pt. 1 ===<br />
{{Table|<br />
{{THT|After tapping on Sentient Lard Lad Statue's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Judge J.T. Winchester Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Sentient Lard Lad, do you acknowledge that you are of sound mind for these court proceedings?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon}}<br />
{{TB|My head is hollow. I have no mind.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Judge J.T. Winchester Icon}}<br />
{{TB|I've given the oath to worse. We shall proceed.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Judge J.T. Winchester Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Based on the destruction you caused around Springfield, I sentence you to one hundred hours of community service.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Helen Lovejoy Icon|Angry}}<br />
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} Community service? That's it?! He crushed my front porch!}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Surprised}}<br />
{{TB|He crushed my car!}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Kearney Icon|Surprised}}<br />
{{TB|He crushed my grandmother!}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Judge J.T. Winchester Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Duly noted. But there are no prisons large enough to hold Lard Lad, so community service will have to do.}}<br />
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Do Community Service|4 hours|[[Welcome to Springfield Arch]], [[Welcome to Springfield Sign]], [[Itchy & Scratchy Billboard]], [[Gorgeous Grampa Billboard]], [[Mr. Sparkle Billboard]], [[Radioactive Man Billboard]], [[Springfield Park Entrance]], [[Town Hall]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}<br>{{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders|Springfielders}} Be Outraged|4 hours|the [[Court House]], [[Town Hall]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|5}}|colspan=2}}<br />
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Pt. 2 ===<br />
{{Table|<br />
{{THT|After tapping on Sentient Lard Lad Statue's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon|Annoyed}}<br />
{{TB|How did I end up out here on the side of the road picking up trash?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|First time in community service, eh?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon|Sad}}<br />
{{TB|Is it that obvious?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|I'll show you the ropes.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon}}<br />
{{TB|That would be great, thanks.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Here are the ropes. Now use them to tie the trash bags together.}}<br />
{{THT|{{Task/Optional|Make Sideshow Bob Show Lard Lad the Ropes|4 hours|[[Welcome to Springfield Arch]], [[Welcome to Springfield Sign]], [[Itchy & Scratchy Billboard]], [[Gorgeous Grampa Billboard]], [[Mr. Sparkle Billboard]], [[Radioactive Man Billboard]], [[Springfield Park Entrance]], [[Town Hall]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Sideshow Bob]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Learn the Ropes|4 hours|[[Welcome to Springfield Arch]], [[Welcome to Springfield Sign]], [[Itchy & Scratchy Billboard]], [[Gorgeous Grampa Billboard]], [[Mr. Sparkle Billboard]], [[Radioactive Man Billboard]], [[Springfield Park Entrance]], [[Town Hall]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}}<br />
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Pt. 3 ===<br />
{{Table|<br />
{{THT|After tapping on Sentient Lard Lad Statue's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|It's time for lunch, chum.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon|Sad}}<br />
{{TB|I don't eat lunch. I'm a statue.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon|Happy}}<br />
{{TB|That's what the non-statues want you to think.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon}}<br />
{{TB|But I have a hollow head.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|You see a hollow head, I see a storage facility for hundreds of lunches.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon|Happy}}<br />
{{TB|Okay, I'll eat!}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Just stay away from my lunch.}}<br />
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Eat Donuts|4 hours}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Sideshow Bob Hoard His Lunch|4 hours|[[Welcome to Springfield Arch]], [[Welcome to Springfield Sign]], [[Itchy & Scratchy Billboard]], [[Gorgeous Grampa Billboard]], [[Mr. Sparkle Billboard]], [[Radioactive Man Billboard]], [[Springfield Park Entrance]], [[Town Hall]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Sideshow Bob]]}}|colspan=2}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|All you had for lunch were donuts?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Donuts are kinda my thing.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon|Happy}}<br />
{{TB|I could make them my thing too.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon|Annoyed}}<br />
{{TB|No.}}<br />
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Pt. 4 ===<br />
{{Table|<br />
{{THT|After tapping on Sentient Lard Lad Statue's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon|Sad}}<br />
{{TB|Ugh, how much time do I have left on my community service?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|How many hours were you assigned?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon}}<br />
{{TB|One hundred.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Bob Icon}}<br />
{{TB|So far you've mostly been on a lunch break so…ninety-nine and a half hours to go.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon|Annoyed}}<br />
{{TB|Gaaahhhh!!!!!}}<br />
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Go on a Rampage|12 hours}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Sideshow Bob Enjoy the Show|8 hours|the [[Court House]], [[Town Hall]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Sideshow Bob]]}}|colspan=2}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Judge J.T. Winchester Icon}}<br />
{{TB|What did he crush this time?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon}}<br />
{{TB|"Crush" is a strong word, your honor. My client will concede to "squish".}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Judge J.T. Winchester Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Very well. What did he squish?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Sentient Lard Lad Statue Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Your honor, it's beneath the dignity of this court to inquire as to what or who I may or may not have squished.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Judge J.T. Winchester Icon}}<br />
{{TB|You squished a "who"?}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Your honor since there is no prosecution present, given they've all been squished, I ask that this case be dismissed.}}<br />
{{Tapped Out Judge J.T. Winchester Icon}}<br />
{{TB|Ah, our "who" was the prosecution. Very well. Case dismissed.}}<br />
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Tapped Out Quests/Treehouse of Horror XXXII}}</div>Solar Dragon