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Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = A Cheap Kar Named Desire |image = x100px |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Hell on Wheels}} |requirements = |charac..."

2025-07-14T16:15:29Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = A Cheap Kar Named Desire |image = x100px |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Hell on Wheels}} |requirements = |charac..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = A Cheap Kar Named Desire
|image = [[File:Tapped Out Kliff Sidebar.png|x100px]]
|level = 5
|update = {{TOCU|Hell on Wheels}}
|requirements =
|characters = [[Kliff]]
|optional = [[Kirk]], [[Legs]], [[Louie]], [[Grampa]], [[Hans Moleman]]
|internal = ACheapKarNamedDesire
|id = 255046 - 255050
|previous =
|next =
|premium = yes
}}

'''A Cheap Kar Named Desire''' is a premium questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Hell on Wheels}} content update. It requires [[Kliff]] to be obtained.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Here is the final paperwork, Mr. Van Houten. Financing agreement, transfer of ownership, and, of course, dealership fraud liability waivers.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon}}
{{TB|Are you sure a new car will really make me look more impressive?}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|No doubt! People are sure to look at you and say, "Now there's a man who's not afraid to accept the first offer on a car loan"!}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon}}
{{TB|Someone from our finance department will walk you through everywhere you need to sign.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|I don't have a pen.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|No problem. What kind of a pen were you in the market for? We sell all kinds.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kliff Advertise Krooked Deals|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Kirk Sign Financing Papers|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]|char=[[Kirk]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Another dope, another dollar. Kliffy, my boy, you are a sales genius!}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Hello, Kliff.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Fat Tony!}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|I thought we weren't supposed to meet in…you know, daylight.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|I have an urgent need for an automobile.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|Oh. Can I interest you in a 2018 sedan with barely 200,000 miles on it?}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|No.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|No, you cannot.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|The automobile for which I have an urgent need is one that I previously asked you to offload.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|I've already sold every car you ever brought me. Just like we agreed.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|And I am telling you I need one of those cars back, Kliff.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|A certain individual from our organization left something, shall we say, "perishable" locked in the trunk of the car in question.}}
{{Tapped Out Legs Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|I'm really sorry about that, boss.}}
{{Tapped Out Legs Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|I was in a rush to get home so I wouldn't miss the Succession finale.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kliff Search Sales Records|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Legs Loom Menacingly|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]|char=[[Legs]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Louie Loom Menacingly|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]|char=[[Louie]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|I'm afraid I sold the car you're looking for.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|It's good that you're afraid. Because that fear will inspire you to retrieve it faster.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|I sold it very recently, so I'm sure I can get it back for you, Tony.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|I hope so, Kliff. You wouldn't want Legs to earn his nickname breaking yours.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|And you really don't want Louie to earn his nickname.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|W-what's Louie's nickname?}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|Nuts.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Thank you for meeting with me, Mister Van Houten. As I said on the phone, I am prepared to make a generous offer to buy back your car.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Well, if you want the car back, you're going to have to do more than offer me money.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I want you to make my wife happy.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|You can't possibly mean that the way it came out.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I need to impress Luann. So, I want you to hire me and make me your Employee of the Month.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon}}
{{TB|Whew! That's a relief. Candidly, I can't even make my wife "happy".}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon}}
{{TB|That's good to know. Now I'm going to have to come up with a new Plan B.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kliff Award Employee of the Month|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Kirk Accept Employee of the Month|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]|char=[[Kirk]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Here you are, Kirk. Employee of the Month!}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|See, Luann? This is a pretty big deal. Awards like this don't get given out all the time.}}
{{Tapped Out Luann Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Right, Kirk. Only every single month. Is that everything? Can we go now?}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Um, just one minute, honey. I need to talk to Kliff for a second.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|It didn't work, Kliff. I can't believe overt deception didn't work.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Neither can I. But then, I'm a used car salesman.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon}}
{{TB|So, here's the new plan: I'll be walking along, minding my own business, and you run into me.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|You want me to run into you…with a car?}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon}}
{{TB|Uh-huh.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|{{*}}sigh{{*}} I suppose I've done worse things to make a sale.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|But you'll give me your car back whether this works or not.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Oh, it'll work. Once Luann sees how pathetic I am, she'll remember why she married me.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kliff Perform a Hit-And-Run|4 hours|the [[Give Apes the Vote Billboard]], [[Quimby's Broken Promises Billboard]], [[Try and Stop Us Billboard]], [[Gorgeous Grampa Billboard]], [[Radioactive Man Billboard]], [[Mr. Sparkle Billboard]], [[Itchy & Scratchy Billboard]], [[Pride Billboard]], a {{TOG|Shop}}, or {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}} {{Task/Optional|Make Kirk Fake Getting Hit by a Car|4 hours|the [[Give Apes the Vote Billboard]], [[Quimby's Broken Promises Billboard]], [[Try and Stop Us Billboard]], [[Gorgeous Grampa Billboard]], [[Radioactive Man Billboard]], [[Mr. Sparkle Billboard]], [[Itchy & Scratchy Billboard]], [[Pride Billboard]], a {{TOG|Shop}}, or {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Kirk]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Oh, my leg! I can't believe you hit me with your car!}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Good, you're alive. Now if you'll kindly sign over the car, you'll be the only one with a broken leg.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon}}
{{TB|Sure. But Kliff, could you keep my Employee of the Month award on your wall?}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|You don't even work for me, Kirk.}}
{{Tapped Out Luann Icon|Dreamy}}
{{TB|Wow. You are so pathetic… {{*}}starry eyed{{*}} …my darling Kirk.}}
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|{{*}}satisfied wink{{*}}}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|Here's the car, Fat Tony, just like I promised.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|You have honored our agreement, Kliff, and you can therefore continue living with all of your leg bones intact.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|{{*}}opens trunk{{*}} Ah, there it is. Six loaves of my mother's homemade bread. A few days old, but still a satisfying reminder of home.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon}}
{{TB|And I thought your "perishable" was going to be a dead body.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
{{TB|Is that what you thought? I find that an offensive stereotype. You can expect a visit from my new associate, Kneecaps.}}
{{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|{{*}}nervous gulp{{*}} Hey, Tony, why not just keep the car as a form of an apology.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon}}
{{TB|Thank you, Kliff. I like this car. It has lots of trunk space to conceal dead bodies.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kliff Swindle Another Customer|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Grampa Shop for a Kar|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]|char=[[Grampa]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Moleman Shop for a Kar|4 hours|[[Kliff's Kar Chalet]]|char=[[Hans Moleman]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
}}

== Behind the Laughter ==
The quest name is a reference to ''[[A Streetcar Named Desire]]''.

{{Tapped Out Quests/Hell on Wheels}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cheap Kar Named Desire, A}}

@@ Line 40: / Line 40: @@
 {{TB|Fat Tony!}}
 {{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Nervous}}
-{{TB|I thought we weren't supposed to meet in…you know, daylight.}}
+{{TB|I thought we weren't supposed to meet in...you know, daylight.}}
 {{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Grim}}
 {{TB|I have an urgent need for an automobile.}}
@@ Line 124: / Line 124: @@
 {{TB|So, here's the new plan: I'll be walking along, minding my own business, and you run into me.}}
 {{Tapped Out Kliff Icon|Surprised}}
-{{TB|You want me to run into you…with a car?}}
+{{TB|You want me to run into you...with a car?}}
 {{Tapped Out Kirk Icon}}
 {{TB|Uh-huh.}}
@@ Line 143: / Line 143: @@
 {{TB|You don't even work for me, Kirk.}}
 {{Tapped Out Luann Icon|Dreamy}}
-{{TB|Wow. You are so pathetic… {{*}}starry eyed{{*}} …my darling Kirk.}}
+{{TB|Wow. You are so pathetic... {{*}}starry eyed{{*}} ...my darling Kirk.}}
 {{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Happy}}
 {{TB|{{*}}satisfied wink{{*}}}}

A Cheap Kar Named Desire - Revision history

SolarBot: replaced: … → ... (4)

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = A Cheap Kar Named Desire |image = x100px |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|Hell on Wheels}} |requirements = |charac..."