'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas - Revision history

Solar Dragon at 23:36, May 9, 2025

2025-05-09T23:36:43Z

SolarBot: replaced: ’ → ' (61), … → ... (12), “ → " (9), ” → " (9), * → {{}} (10), {{{{}}}} → {{*}} (3)

2025-01-16T16:35:05Z

replaced: ’ → ' (61), … → ... (12), “ → " (9), ” → " (9), * → {{*}} (10), {{{{*}}}} → {{*}} (3)

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Solar Dragon at 16:53, January 13, 2025

2025-01-13T16:53:08Z

Solar Dragon at 16:34, January 13, 2025

2025-01-13T16:34:52Z

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas |image = |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|A Simpsons Christmas Special}} |requirements = |characters = |optional =..."

2025-01-13T16:21:49Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas |image = |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|A Simpsons Christmas Special}} |requirements = |characters = |optional =..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas
|image =
|level = 5
|update = {{TOCU|A Simpsons Christmas Special}}
|requirements =
|characters =
|optional =
|previous = {{TOQP|Christmas is Canceled|1}}
|next =
|event = yes
}}

''''Twas the Pageant Before Christmas''' is an event-exclusive questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|A Simpsons Christmas Special}} content update.

== Dialogue ==
=== Intro ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing {{TOQP|Christmas is Canceled|1}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|This afternoon we will hold auditions for our annual Christmas Pageant! See you there, budding thespians!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|As participation is mandatory for all students, we will see you bullies, jocks, and burnouts there, too.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|Excuse me, Principal Skinner, but-}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|You object to the word “Christmas” because of its exclusionary religious connotations? Very well. We’ll call it the “Holiday Pageant”.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|Great. But--}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|The word “Pageant” evokes beauty pageants, which are sexist and outdated? Fine. Then we’ll call it the “Holiday Thing”.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
{{TB|You fold pretty quick in the face of controversy, huh?}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|It’s my main qualification for this job.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Audition for the Holiday Thing|4 hours|[[Springfield Elementary]] or a [[Brown House]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Milhouse Audition for the Holiday Thing|4 hours|[[Springfield Elementary]] or a [[Brown House]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Ralph Audition for the Holiday Thing|4 hours|[[Springfield Elementary]] or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Ralph]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|The cast list will be posted later today. Your part will be assigned according to the degree of stink your parents will raise if you have few lines.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Hello, sir. I am the handyman you hired to build your outdoor stage. My name is Roger.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Roger? I want a cool name!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Like I said, my name is Jackhammer Machinegun.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|What a very cool name. So have you finished building the stage?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Guilty}}
{{TB|No. Instead of doing my actual job, I became a snow plow driver, or an astronaut, or something. Happens all the time.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Guilty}}
{{TB|Plus I lost the money you gave me for supplies.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Mr. Machinegun, how could you! The Holiday Thing is ruined!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing the Intro|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Children, the play is canceled. We have no stage. And if I’m being honest, we never really found our Petey the Reluctant Elf, either.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|I’m doing the best I can. Petey is a complex character!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|We can’t give up! If we need more money to finish the stage, there must be a way to get it!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Maybe we could hold a fundraiser. A winter carnival!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Good thinking, Lisa! You truly are the hero of this story that you made up yourself.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|Now go fold some programs while I ponder Lisa’s amazing idea!}}
{{THT|{{Task/Optional|Make Skinner Brainstorm Moneymaking Schemes|4 hours|[[Springfield Elementary]] or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Skinner]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Use a Saw Like a Hammer|4 hours|[[Springfield Elementary]] or a [[Brown House]]}} {{Task|Collect Programs|100}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Lisa, your upbeat problem-solving has truly saved the day. Hooray for Lisa!}}
{{THT||colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Oh, come on. Is this whole story nothing more than a love letter to yourself?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
{{TB|It’s my story, I’ll tell it how I want.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Sweetie, your brother’s right. For a story to be interesting, the hero needs to experience setbacks.}}
{{Tapped Out Maggie Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|{{*}}agreeing sucking noises*}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Well, I LIKE stories where I’m doing amazing things and everyone says how great I am.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|…}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Fine. One setback, coming up.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart]] x3|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 1|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I’ve found the perfect centerpiece for our winter carnival fundraiser -- a roasted chestnuts cart!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Oh, how the children will line up for the earthy, mild flavor of warm chestnuts!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Grossed Out}}
{{TB|Uh, kids today don't really think of chestnuts as “yummy”. Or even as “food”.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Nonsense! Chewy, nondescript chestnuts are the ultimate holiday treat!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|We could coat them in sugar, I guess. And serve them on a bed of sugar, with sugar sauce on the side…}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Fine. Yes. Do that. And ruin my delightfully bland chestnuts.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Place [[Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart]]s|3}} {{Task/JobMulti|Make Children Sell Chestnuts|4 hours|a [[Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart]]|3}} {{Task|Collect Programs|300}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|In a development no one could have possibly predicted, today’s children have zero interest in hot chestnuts.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Deadpan}}
{{TB|…}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|It’s time to give the kids the Christmas treats they crave -- figgy pudding and steaming bowls of wassail.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|Sir, that’s a horrible idea.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I’ve spent the last thirty Christmases alone with my elderly mother. I THINK I know what kids want!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Christmas Carousel]] and Free Land Token|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 2|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|Ralph, have you been working on your line for the play?}}
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I like pretending where I’m a Dracula driving a bulldozer.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Embarrassed}}
{{TB|Me too, Ralph. Me too. But in THIS play, you’re playing a mouse, right? And when you come on stage, your line is…?}}
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|"Hello! I have pointy teeth and a cape and have you seen my bulldozer?"}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Focus, Ralph! It’s a very important line. You explain the true meaning of Christm-- I mean, the Holidays -- to everyone. Try again…}}
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|"A robber who doesn’t like Draculas stole my bulldozer and now I’m sad."}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Okay, everybody. Take five. I need to think. Let’s all… ride the carousel… or something.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Ride the Carousel|8 hours|the [[Christmas Carousel]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Ralph Ride the Carousel|8 hours|the [[Christmas Carousel]]|char=[[Ralph]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel|8 hours|the [[Christmas Carousel]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Ride the Carousel|8 hours|the [[Christmas Carousel]]}} {{Task|Collect Programs|300}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|This whole play is riding on Ralph! If he doesn’t explain the true meaning of the Holidays, it’s ruined!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Puzzled}}
{{TB|I’m confused. What exactly IS the meaning of the Holidays?}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Puzzled}}
{{TB|I mean, I get what Christmas is about. But “the Holidays” just seems kind of… nonspecific.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|I’ve never been entirely clear on that, myself. Something about brotherhood and good will?}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Puzzled}}
{{TB|No, that’s Christmas.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
{{TB|It can be the meaning of non-denominational, inoffensive pseudo-celebrations as well!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|You know, we could just cancel the--}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
{{TB|We’re not canceling the Holiday Thing! The holidays aren’t the same without the Thing!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Let’s just do another dress rehearsal. I’m sure all our problems will be solved through some inexplicable, non-denominational holiday miracle.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Angel Lisa]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 3|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Excited}}
{{TB|Behold! An angel has appeared to tell us all the meaning of the Holidays!}}
{{Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Lo! I bring tidings unto thee! But to clarify, I’m not comfortable with the word “angel”. Think of me as a non-religious “spirit”.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Scared}}
{{TB|So… you’re a g-g-g-g-ghost?!}}
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I’m a Dracula!}}
{{Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Forget it. Call me an angel if it’s so important to you. Just shut up and harken to my stupid message of hope.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Angel Lisa Give Proclamations on High|4 hours}} {{Task|Collect Programs|300}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|Hear me, Springfield! We celebrate the Holidays because on this day a child was born.}}
{{Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|A child who, depending on your belief system, was either the son of God, or a prophet, or just a really nice guy.}}
{{Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|And either to celebrate his birth, or because it’s Hanukkah, or maybe the Winter Solstice is important to you, we should all be nice to one another right now.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|That’s it! The angel has saved the play! She’s a hero!}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|She sure is! What a gal, reminds me of that amazing sister of mine!}}
{{THT||colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Rolling Eyes}}
{{TB|Whoa, whoa! Hold on a minute. In what universe would I ever say anything nice about you?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Yeah, I’m not buying it, Lis.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
{{TB|It’s my story! Let me tell it how I want.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|Lisa, you can’t just change an established character’s personality whenever you want. It’s sloppy writing.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|The point of the story is, a holiday miracle saved the play.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Bored}}
{{TB|Phew. I am so relieved. I was really worried the boring children’s play would have to be cancelled.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Fair Booth]] x4 and Free Land Token|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 4|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|Lisa, the play’s message has been saved, and it’s sure to be a colossal smash. But we still don’t have a stage.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I’m working on it!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Are you?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|No. But I AM swinging this hammer, which sure makes it LOOK like I’m working. To me, at least.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Puzzled}}
{{TB|Lisa, we need more money, which necessitates a large Christmas Market, which you are now in charge of setting up.}}
{{THT||colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Laughing}}
{{TB|Hah! That’ll teach that do-gooder to do good!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Laughing}}
{{TB|So Little Miss Perfect gets her comeuppance. I take back what I said, Lisa. This is a great story!}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|I know it’s a lot to ask, but you ARE, strangely, the only character in this tale with any intelligence. So…}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|{{*}}sigh* Okay fine, I'll see what I can do.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Place [[Fair Booth]]s|4}} {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Setup Fair Booths|8 hours|a [[Fair Booth]]}} {{Task/Optional2|Make Ralph Ride the Carousel|8 hours|the [[Christmas Carousel]]|char=[[Ralph]] and [[Milhouse]]}} {{Task/Optional2|Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel|8 hours|the [[Christmas Carousel]]|char=[[Ralph]] and [[Milhouse]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Ride the Carousel|8 hours|the [[Christmas Carousel]]}} {{Task|Collect Programs|300}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Cautious}}
{{TB|Good news, I got the stage all fixed. I'll just be taking my last paycheck.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Mad}}
{{TB|He's lying! The stage has been fine all along, he's just been spending all our money on eggnog!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Guilty}}
{{TB|{{*}}burp* I have no idea what he's *buuuurp* talking *buuuuuuuurp* about.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|The curtain goes up in five minutes, children. I hope you all remember your lines?}}
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Hello! I am not a Dracula, and I don’t have a bulldozer!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Better, Ralph. Still terrible, but better.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Pageant Stage]] and Free Land Token|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 6 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 5|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Excited}}
{{TB|Now Lisa, when we do our kiss scene, make sure you don’t get TOO caught up in it, okay?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Excited}}
{{TB|Because I have a feeling I’m a really good kisser. That’s what Puppy Goo Goo says.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Grossed Out}}
{{TB|WHAT kiss scene? I’m playing a ballerina, and you’re a soldier.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Excited}}
{{TB|Love can blossom in the strangest places, huh?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Grossed Out}}
{{TB|If you try to kiss me, I'll push you off the stage.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Scared}}
{{TB|How did you know that was one of my recurring nightmares?!}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Children Act in an Ensemble|12 hours|the [[Pageant Stage]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bauble Decoration}}
{{Tapped Out Sideshow Mel Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I declare Lisa’s Holiday Thing the finest theatrical event ever!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Thank you all for your three-hour-long standing ovation. We owe everything to Lisa Simpson! Let’s hear it for her!}}
{{THT||colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Boo! Boooooo!}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|Bart, be nice. The story’s almost over. It IS almost over, isn’t it, Lisa?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|No. Next, the play goes to Broadway, sweeps the Tonys and goes on tour.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|…}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|…but I guess we can safely skip that part.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/A Simpsons Christmas Special}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Twas the Pageant Before Christmas}}

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Tapped Out Quest
 |name = 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas
-|image =
+|image = [[File:Tapped Out Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Sidebar.png|x100px]]
 |level = 5
 |update = {{TOCU|A Simpsons Christmas Special}}
@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 |characters = [[Lisa]], [[Milhouse]], [[Homer]], [[Angel Lisa]], [[Ralph]]
 |optional = [[Skinner]], See [[#Currency-earning tasks|Currency-earning tasks]]
 |previous = {{TOQP|Christmas is Canceled|1}}
 |next = {{TOQP|Christmas is Canceled|2}}