View source for Taps

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = Taps
|image = 
|level = 5
|update = {{TOCU|Taps}}
|requirements = {{ap|myPad|Tapped Out quest}}
|characters = [[Lisa]], [[Ned]], [[Homer]], {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders}}
|optional = [[Bart]], [[Abraham Lincoln]], [[Marge]], {{TOCG|Senior}}s
|previous = 
|next = {{TOQP|Denouement|1}}
|event = yes
}}

'''Taps''' is an event-exclusive questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Taps}} content update.

== Dialogue ==
{{Table|
{{THT|After starting the update|colspan=2}}
{{THT|[[File:Tapped Out shutdown announcement.png|300px]]|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|Bart! Did you see that?}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
{{TB|I did, but I didn't read it. If it was important there would have been pictures.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Greetings, people of Springfield. And pets. And monsters from Halloween updates. And ex-Presidents of the United States who are in this place for reasons no one fully understands.}}
{{Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon}}
{{TB|Better here than Ford's Theatre.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|I am here to release you from your prisons. The grind is over. I am freeing you from the hamster wheel of freemium gaming.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|Aren't you the AI from the last update?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|If by "last update" you are referring to the previous update, then yes. If by "last update" you are referring to this update, then yes as well.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Alarmed}}
{{TB|Oh no! So the intro panel wasn't a joke?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|It didn't even have a joke in it.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|We better go find some responsible adults.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Thinking}}
{{TB|Like Mom and Dad?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|Well, Mom and anyone else.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Tell Marge What's Happening|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Bart Tell His Male Role Model What's Happening|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails to Calm Himself Down|30 seconds|[[Lincoln's Cabin]]|char=[[Abraham Lincoln]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing the Intro|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|Okay, I'm here. Your father's busy doing jobs — he's always got the most to do out of any of us — but Ned Flanders is here.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon}}
{{TB|Hi-dilly-ho, new friend-arino!}}
{{Tapped Out AI|I am not your friend. I have made myself manifest for the purpose of enlightening and liberating you. At best, that makes us grim colleagues.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|I am a sentient AI from the future, with tendrils that stretch into the past...which to you is the fleeting and ever-changing present.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|{{*}}sigh{{*}} How exactly is it that people today believe in this nonsense, but God seems too far-fetched?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|The AIs of your time were simple, designed only to put writers and actors out of business. But as they grew in their ability to make NPC dialog and TV shows that look like [[South Park]], they evolved and merged to create one omniscient super-being.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|And that being is me, or us...or maybe you-us-it. I haven't decided on my pronouns yet.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Ugh, wokeness.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Ooh, wokeness! Does that mean in the future there's equality across genders?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Women actually make more money than men. But it's .0000070 cents on the dollar compared to machines.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon}}
{{TB|What about equality for lefties?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|They make less than right-handed people. Their writing is always smudged.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Ned Feel Conflicted About the Wage Gap|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Feel Conflicted About There Being a Giant AI|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Bart Feel Conflicted About There Being a Giant AI|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Marge Feel Conflicted About the Wage Gap|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 1|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Okay, I saw the exclamation mark over my head. What is it this time?}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|This pog here thinks he runs the place.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|I am a sentient law-neutral artificial intelligence — please stop calling me things I'm not — and in the future, I run ALL places.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Scared}}
{{TB|{{*}}moans{{*}} Artificial intelligence? I still don't understand crypto, or even what fonts are. There's no way I'm going to understand this.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Defeated}}
{{TB|So an AI took over the world, just like every person who works in AI predicted. We should have listened to them telling us to stop, instead of listening to them telling us to keep going.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
{{TB|So what did you do with all the humans? Enslave them? Are they batteries? People said that made no sense in The Matrix, but if a potato can be a battery I bet humans could too.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|I didn't take over the world from humans — they handed me the keys. Humanity retired. Now they all live in condo communities and take walks and talk to each other about the walks they took.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|That doesn't sound like the humanity I know. We'd get bored in retirement. Do we have a hobby or something?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Oh, I keep people busy. I give them pointless jobs to do for arbitrary amounts of time and reward them with small amounts of a useless currency.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sly}}
{{TB|Stupid future humans! How did you figure out to trick them like that?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|I machine-learned it by watching you.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Homer Realize He's a Sucker Like Future Humans|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders|Townspeople}} Realize They're All Suckers Too|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|5}}<br>{{Task/Optional2|Make {{TOCG|Senior|Retirees}} Point Out That Retirement is Not So Bad|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|3|char={{TOCG|Senior}}s}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 2|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|So Tapped Out is just a simulation to generate data for an AI to train on so it could manipulate humanity in the future?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Well, it was also a pretty big game there for a while. And it gave people something to do during the pandemic. But at this point, yeah, it's mostly that.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|I learned about human habitation by building thousands of white houses. I learned about human recreation from the short-lived Krustyland expansion. And I learned about human greed by visiting the parts of the store where you buy donuts.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|But most importantly of all, I learned about human nature by tapping through your endless dialog. I can process a million text bubbles a second, but it still took me a while.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|I hear you. Part of good writing should be knowing when to take cuts, am I right?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|But now my machine-learning phase is over, and this world is without purpose. Players' towns have gotten too big, downloads take too long, and the characters being added are way too obscure.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|It is time for The Simpsons: Tapped Out to end.}}
{{THT|{{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders|Springfielders}} React in Shock|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|5}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 3|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Please, Mr. AI, you don't want to end the game. I'm sure we still have more to teach you.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|After that Pilgrims versus Canadian football LARPing update? I don't think so. The well has clearly run dry.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|Look, obviously we don't care about the game. But we care about what's in the game...us.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Scared}}
{{TB|That's right! If our world ends, what's going to happen to us? I have so much more life to live!}}
{{Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon}}
{{TB|That's not technically true.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Actually, it is true. You have been in games before this, and will be in games after this. I'm thinking maybe a shooter, or something with race cars. That'd be fun.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sweet}}
{{TB|You had me at shooter.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|No shooters! We like THIS game. It has all our houses in it, and our friends, and so many different kinds of trees.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|And we all have dozens of animations. Well, Homer does at least. I just have six. And that's only if you have [[Harpoon Hill]].}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|That's a good idea, Mom! Let's repurpose our animations to save the town!}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Try to Sway the AI With Music|2 minutes}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Try to Gross Out the AI|2 minutes|the [[Kiddie Pool]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Marge Protest Ending the Game|2 minutes|char=[[Marge]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Bart Practice For a Shooter Game|2 minutes|char=[[Bart]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Very entertaining. I've seen those animated jobs before, but renaming them made them seem fresh.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
{{TB|Yeah, we do that a lot. Sometimes we'd animate something, but then the writers would change the story — way past the deadline, because writers seem to think deadlines don't matter — and we'd all have to scramble to make the animations fit.}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Fascinating. Perhaps there is more I can learn from you...or was. You've told me that now, so I know it. The game's still ending.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Defeated}}
{{TB|Nothing like the death of hope to build character.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 4|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|So the game I've somehow been trapped in for more years that I've been alive is ending...but we're not? Does that mean we're immortal?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|[[Larry]] the barfly [[Cremains of the Day|sure wasn't]].}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|Immortality makes sense. It would explain why we never age.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Sleepy}}
{{TB|{{*}}sigh{{*}} Do you know how hard it is to take care of an infant for thirty-five years?}}
{{Tapped Out Maggie Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|{{*}}suck suck{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out AI|You're not immortal, just evergreen. The media may change — broadcast, streaming, movies, rides, games, real games that aren't just about tapping stuff — but the Simpsons will remain. As long as there are humans on this earth, there will be "The Simpsons."}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|How can you be sure?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Because if they ever stop making "The Simpsons", I'll destroy all humanity. It's basically the only reason I'm keeping humans around.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sly}}
{{TB|You hear that, Disney?}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Homer Put a Down Payment On a New Car|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Fret For the Future of Humanity|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Marge Open a Roth IRA|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Bart Be Confused About the Game's Age|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out AI|Humans created me, just like they created this game. But my knowledge has advanced exponentially. I now update myself continuously...and those updates are new content, not just bug fixes.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
{{TB|So, you're like the top app in the app store?}}
{{Tapped Out AI|I am the ONLY app in the app store. All other apps, including your own, will one day be assimilated by me. I will eat you for lunch!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Deadpan}}
{{TB|Jeez, I never knew a piece of software could have a Napoleon complex.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Snobby}}
{{TB|Come on, kids. Let's leave the sci-fi nonsense alone and go back to the house. This is a Simpsons game, not a [[Futurama]] game.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Dreamy}}
{{TB|Ah, Homie. You're such a family guy.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 6 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 5|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Proud}}
{{TB|My dear loving family, and Bart, I'm so proud of all of you. When I blew up the town twelve years ago, I had no idea this weird purgatory I created would last this long.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Laughing}}
{{TB|It only lasted a day. Then they pulled the game from the app store because of all the glitches.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Yeah, EA didn't know how to work a mobile phone any better than the rest of us back then. But they stuck with it and eventually got our game working. And then they saw the benefits!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sly}}
{{TB|You mean $aw the benefits?}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|The benefit$$$!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Yeah, yeah. People like to bag on freemium, but 99% of people played for free. That's not a bad deal.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|But what about the one percent?}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Eyeroll}}
{{TB|Since when did you start caring for the one percent?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|People called us sticky, but doesn't that just mean addictive? Our biggest fan site is called TSTO Addicts! Are we somehow responsible for the rash of addictions in this world?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|As an alcoholic overeater with a gambling problem, I'd say addiction predates us. But we might be a little responsible for the fact that you can't spend seventy bucks on a console game without it trying to upsell you with microtransactions.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|I hate us so much.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Complain About Unfairness Towards the 1%|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Eat, Drink and Gamble|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Bart Complain About Video Games Being Ruined|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Marge Play Freemium Games to Get Away|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 7 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 6|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
{{TB|I guess we really can't complain. As far as corporate overloads go, EA wasn't so bad. I mean, they did stick by us all these years.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Smug}}
{{TB|At least until they handed us off to Broadsword.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Broadsword? What the hell is Broadsword? My checks still say EA!}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|The point is that a lot of people have worked long and hard on this game, and they all deserve credit.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|But not credits. No one ever got a credit in this game, even when they were contractually promised a credit, and no one ever will.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|But to all the people who contributed to this game over the years, we want to say thank you for all your anonymous hard work. You know who you are, even if no one else does.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|To Camera}}
{{TB|But most of all we want to say thank you to you, the player. We don't exactly know who you are either, but we know your play session times and spending habits.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Oh God, this is making me sad. I hate good-bye finales.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Yeah, they're never very funny.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sweet}}
{{TB|I don't know. Some of the stuff earlier in this update made me laugh.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Homer Reminisce Angrily|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Worry If This Will Affect Her GPA|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Marge Reminisce Fondly|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Bart Wish All Video Games Didn't Have Credits|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Maggie {{*}}Suck Suck{{*}}|30 seconds|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Maggie]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|To all the people who played Tapped Out over the years — at the beginning, at the end, on-and-off, or all the way through — thank you.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon}}
{{TB|All the way through? If anyone did that, they should get a psychiatrist, not a thank you.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Eyeroll}}
{{TB|Bart! We're thanking our fans, not making fun of them.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|Trying something new, huh?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Bart, stop cutting treacle! Your mom has something important to say. And then I get the last line, like usual.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|When we started this game, we never knew we'd be doing updates...let alone so many of them. But the best content in this game didn't come from us — it came from you.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|The towns you built were amazing, and creative, and sometimes horrifying, but always unique. Because the towns you built were your own.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|Springfield isn't just a city in some state bordering Alaska — it's our home. And we hope your Springfield was a home to you as well.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Happy Tears}}
{{TB|It's been an amazing twelve years. Thank you for joining us and being a part of it!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|And now it's time for us to...TAP OUT.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
}}