View source for He Who Controls the Donuts, Controls the World/Quotes

{{TabQ|nogags}}

{{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Here you go, sir. The last of the baked goods.
{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Ah, yes. Food always tastes best when you've deprived someone else of it.
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{{qf|[[Dowager]]}} Monty... I thought it was entertaining to mock our downsized employees...
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Yes, but it's my party. I should be making the playful japes.
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} I suppose you're all wondering why I called you in here today.
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Are you giving us all a pony?
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Do you see any ponies?
{{qf|Homer}} Sometimes there are surprise ponies...
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} I'm going to miss [[Springfield]].
{{qf|Homer}} You won't think that when you're bathing in maple syrup and eating back bacon, Marge. I keep thinking I'm forgetting something, though...
{{qf|Marge}} Maybe it's that we should say goodbye to the home that's held this family since it began...?
{{qf|Homer}} That's not it.
{{qf|Smithers}} Simpson, do you realize you've tied your father to the roof?
{{qf|Homer}} That's it.
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} If we're going to be illegal immigrants, then I'm changing my name. From now on, I'm Dre P. Wiener.
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Then I'm Emily Murphy, Canada's pioneer feminist and the first lady magistrate in the British Empire.
{{qf|Homer}} And I'll go by Bart Simpson.
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{{qf|Lisa}} Measles, mumps, flu, and rubella shots on the same day?
{{qf|Bart}} Tomorrow is monkey pox, rabies, tetanus... Stupid Canadian medicine keeping us healthy.
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{{qf|Lisa}} I mean, everything goes back to normal after a few days. We do this all the time.
{{qf|Bart}} Move to [[Alaska]], win a million dollar lottery, it all goes back to normal when the adventure is over...
{{qf|Lisa}} ...Right?
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Smithers! These fellows aren't practicing cannibals, are they?
{{qf|Smithers}} They might be. Let me look it up on [[Wikipedia]].
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{{qf|Smithers}} You're not here yo arrest Mr. Burns for hiring illegals, are you?
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} We're not allowed to. The law only punishes foreigners, as far as I know.

[[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]]