Editing List of chalkboard gags

The following is a '''list of [[chalkboard gag]]s''' seen on '''[[The Simpsons]]'''.

{{-}}
== [[The Simpsons (season 1)|Season 1]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #DEDDE2" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #DEDDE2" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #DEDDE2" | Gag
! style="background-color: #DEDDE2" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |

|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
|1 || [[December 17]], [[1989]] || ''no gag'' || [[Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
|2 || [[January 14]], [[1990]] ||I will not waste [[chalk]] || [[Bart the Genius]]
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
|3 || [[January 21]], [[1990]] || I will not [[skateboard]] in the halls || [[Homer's Odyssey]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
|4 || [[January 28]], [[1990]] || I will not [[Burping|burp]] in class || [[There's No Disgrace Like Home]]
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
|5 || [[February 4]], [[1990]] || ''no gag - shortened opening'' || [[Bart the General]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
|6 || [[February 11]], [[1990]] || I will not instigate revolution (a reference to the [[Bart the General|previous episode]], in which Bart trains an army of kids to fight a [[Nelson Muntz|bully]]) || [[Moaning Lisa]]
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
|7 || [[February 18]], [[1990]] || I will not draw naked ladies in class || [[Call of the Simpsons]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
|8 || [[February 25]], [[1990]] || I did not [[Elvis sightings|see Elvis]] || [[The Telltale Head]]
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
|9 || [[March 18]], [[1990]] || ''no gag'' || [[Life on the Fast Lane]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
|10 || [[March 25]], [[1990]] || I will not call my teacher [[Sexy|"Hot Cakes"]] || [[Homer's Night Out]]
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
|11 || [[April 15]], [[1990]] || [[Garlic]] gum is not funny || [[The Crepes of Wrath]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
|12 || [[April 29]], [[1990]] || They are laughing at me, not with me || [[Krusty Gets Busted]]
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
|13 || [[May 13]], [[1990]] || I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom ''(a reference to [[shouting fire in a crowded theater]]) || [[Some Enchanted Evening (The Simpsons episode)|Some Enchanted Evening]]
|-
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 2)|Season 2]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #C5E4E1" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #C5E4E1" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #C5E4E1" | Gag
! style="background-color: #C5E4E1" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|14 || [[October 11]], [[1990]] || I will not encourage others to fly ''(And during the episode:'' I will not fake my way through life'')'' ||[[Bart Gets an F]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|15 || [[October 18]], [[1990]] || [[Tar]] is not a plaything || [[Simpson and Delilah]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|16 || [[October 25]], [[1990]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|17 || [[November 1]], [[1990]] || I will not [[Photocopying|Xerox]] my butt (''Alternate chalkboard gag aired on [[June 25]], [[1992]] rerun'' - [[Dan Quayle#Vice Presidency|"It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'"]]) || [[Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|18 || [[November 8]], [[1990]] || I will not trade [[trousers|pants]] with others || [[Dancin' Homer]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|19 || [[November 15]], [[1990]] || I am not a 32 year old woman ''(though at the time, the voice of Bart, [[Nancy Cartwright]], was) || [[Dead Putting Society]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|20 || [[November 22]], [[1990]] || I will not do that thing with my tongue || [[Bart vs. Thanksgiving]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|21 || [[December 6]], [[1990]] || I will not drive the principal's [[automobile|car]] (similar chalkboard gag in ''The Months'', with the principal being replaced by December) || [[Bart the Daredevil]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|22 || [[December 20]], [[1990]] || I will not [[Pledge of Allegiance|pledge allegiance]] to Bart || [[Itchy & Scratchy & Marge]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|23 || [[January 10]], [[1991]] || I will not sell school property || [[Bart Gets Hit by a Car]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|24 || [[January 24]], [[1991]] || I will not cut corners ''(This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "[[Ibid|ditto]]" quotation marks.)'' || [[One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|25 || [[January 31]], [[1991]] || I will not get very far with this attitude ||[[The Way We Was]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|26 || [[February 7]], [[1991]] || I will not make [[flatulence|flatulent]] noises in class || [[Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|27 || [[February 14]], [[1991]] || I will not [[belch]] [[The Star-Spangled Banner|the national anthem]] || [[Principal Charming]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|28 || [[February 21]], [[1991]] || I will not sell land in [[Florida]] || [[Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|29 || [[March 7]], [[1991]] || I will not sell school property || [[Bart's Dog Gets an F]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|30 || [[March 28]], [[1991]] || I will not grease the [[monkey bars]] ||[[Old Money (The Simpsons)|Old Money]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|31 || [[April 11]], [[1991]] || I will not hide behind the [[Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment]] || [[Brush with Greatness]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|32 || [[April 25]], [[1991]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa's Substitute]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|33 || [[May 2]], [[1991]] || I will not do anything bad ever again || [[The War of the Simpsons]]
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
|34 || [[May 9]], [[1991]] || I will not show off ''(This was written in [[Blackletter]].)'' || [[Three Men and a Comic Book]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|35 || [[July 11]], [[1991]] || I will not sleep through my education || [[Blood Feud (The Simpsons)|Blood Feud]]
|-
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 3)|Season 3]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #E2C7DD" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #E2C7DD" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #E2C7DD" | Gag
! style="background-color: #E2C7DD" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|36 || [[September 19]], [[1991]] || I am not a [[dentist]] || [[Stark Raving Dad]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|37 || [[September 26]], [[1991]] || Spitwads are not [[free speech]] || [[Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|38 || [[October 3]], [[1991]] || Nobody likes [[sunburn]] slappers || [[When Flanders Failed]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|39 || [[October 10]], [[1991]] || High explosives and school don't mix ''(And during the episode:'' I will not bribe Principal Skinner'')'' || [[Bart the Murderer]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|40 || [[October 17]], [[1991]] || I will not squeak [[chalk]] ''(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)'' || [[Homer Defined]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|41 || [[October 24]], [[1991]] || I will finish what I sta ''(written only once)'' || [[Like Father, Like Clown]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|42 || [[October 31]], [[1991]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror II]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|43 || [[November 7]], [[1991]] || "Bart Bucks" are not [[legal tender]] || [[Lisa's Pony]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|44 || [[November 14]], [[1991]] || I will not fake [[rabies]] || [[Saturdays of Thunder]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|45 || [[November 21]], [[1991]] || Underwear should be worn on the inside || [[Flaming Moe's]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|46 || [[December 5]], [[1991]] || The Christmas Pageant does not stink || [[Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|47 || [[December 26]], [[1991]] || I will not torment the emotionally frail || [[I Married Marge]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|48 || [[January 9]], [[1992]] || I will not carve [[Deity|gods]] || [[Radio Bart]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|49 || [[January 23]], [[1992]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa the Greek]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|50 || [[February 6]], [[1992]] || I will not spank others || [[Homer Alone]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|51 || [[February 13]], [[1992]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart the Lover]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|52 || [[February 20]], [[1992]] || I will not [[beanball|aim for the head]] ''(In this episode, a major character was [[hit by pitch|hit in the head by a pitch]] during a baseball game.)'' || [[Homer at the Bat]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|53 || [[February 27]], [[1992]] || I will not [[Vomiting|barf]] unless I'm sick ''(And during the episode:'' I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty'')'' || [[Separate Vocations]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|54 || [[March 12]], [[1992]] || I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge || [[Dog of Death]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|55 || [[March 26]], [[1992]] || I will not conduct my own [[fire drill]]s || [[Colonel Homer]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|56 || [[April 9]], [[1992]] || Funny noises are not funny || [[Black Widower]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|57 || [[April 23]], [[1992]] || I will not spin the [[turtle]] || [[The Otto Show]]
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
|58 || [[May 7]], [[1992]] || I will not snap [[Brassiere|bras]] || [[Bart's Friend Falls in Love]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|59 || [[August 27]], [[1992]] || I will not fake [[seizure]]s || [[Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?]]
|-
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 4)|Season 4]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #85CAFF" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #85CAFF" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #85CAFF" | Gag
! style="background-color: #85CAFF" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|60 || [[September 24]], [[1992]] || This punishment is not boring and pointless || [[Kamp Krusty]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|61 || [[October 01]], [[1992]] || My name is not "[[Jack Kevorkian|Dr. Death]]" || [[A Streetcar Named Marge]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|62 || [[October 08]], [[1992]] || I will not defame [[New Orleans]] ''(This was due to complaints regarding the [[A Streetcar Named Marge|previous episode]]'s song about New Orleans.)'' || [[Homer the Heretic]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|63 || [[October 15]], [[1992]] || I will not [[prescribe]] [[medication]] || [[Lisa the Beauty Queen]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|64 || [[October 29]], [[1992]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror III]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|65 || [[November 03]], [[1992]] || I will not bury the new kid ''(During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child.")'' || [[Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|66 || [[November 05]], [[1992]] || I will not teach others to fly || [[Marge Gets a Job]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|67 || [[November 12]], [[1992]] || I will not bring [[sheep]] to class || [[New Kid on the Block]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|68 || [[November 19]], [[1992]] || A burp is not an answer || [[Mr. Plow]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|69 || [[December 03]], [[1992]] || Teacher is not a [[leprosy|leper]] || [[Lisa's First Word]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|70 || [[December 17]], [[1992]] || [[Coffee]] is not for kids ''(Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled.)'' || [[Homer's Triple Bypass]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|71 || [[January 14]], [[1993]] || I will not eat things for money || [[Marge vs. the Monorail]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|72 || [[January 21]], [[1993]] || I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call || [[Selma's Choice]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|73 || [[February 04]], [[1993]] || The [[Seymour Skinner|principal]]'s [[toupee|toupée]] is not a [[frisbee]] || [[Brother from the Same Planet]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|74 || [[February 11]], [[1993]] || I will not call the principal "spud head" || [[I Love Lisa]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|75 || [[February 18]], [[1993]] || [[Goldfish]] don't bounce || [[Duffless]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|76 || [[March 11]], [[1993]] || Mud is not one of the 4 [[Food guide pyramid|food groups]] || [[Last Exit to Springfield]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|77 || [[April 01]], [[1993]] || No one is interested in my [[underpants]] || [[So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|78 || [[April 15]], [[1993]] || I will not sell [[patent medicine|miracle cures]] || [[The Front (The Simpsons)|The Front]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|79 || [[April 29]], [[1993]] || I will return the [[Guide dog|seeing-eye dog]] || [[Whacking Day]]
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
|80 || [[May 06]], [[1993]] || I do not have [[diplomatic immunity]] || [[Marge in Chains]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|81 || [[May 13]], [[1993]] || I will not charge admission to the bathroom || [[Krusty Gets Kancelled]]
|-
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 5)|Season 5]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FD9D83" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FD9D83" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FD9D83" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FD9D83" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|82 || [[September 30]], [[1993]] || I will never win an [[Emmy Award|Emmy]] (''Nine Emmy awards had been won by the show and cast by show's date'') || [[Homer's Barbershop Quartet]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|83 || [[October 07]], [[1993]] || The cafeteria [[deep frying|deep fryer]] is not a toy || [[Cape Feare]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|84 || [[October 14]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer Goes to College]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|85 || [[October 21]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Rosebud (The Simpsons)|Rosebud]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|86 || [[October 28]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror IV]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|87 || [[November 04]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Marge on the Lam]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|88 || [[November 11]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart's Inner Child]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|89 || [[November 18]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Boy-Scoutz N the Hood]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|90 || [[December 09]], [[1993]] || [[All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy|All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy]] || [[The Last Temptation of Homer]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|91 || [[December 16]], [[1993]] || I will not say "[[Springfield (The Simpsons)|Springfield]]" just to get applause || [[$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|92 || [[January 06]], [[1994]] || I am not authorized to fire [[substitute teacher]]s || [[Homer the Vigilante]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|93 || [[February 03]], [[1994]] || My homework was not stolen by [[The Fugitive (1993 film)|a one-armed man]] || [[Bart Gets Famous]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|94 || [[February 10]], [[1994]] || I will not go near the [[kindergarten]] turtle || [[Homer and Apu]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|95 || [[February 17]], [[1994]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|96 || [[February 24]], [[1994]] || ''no gag'' || [[Deep Space Homer]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|97 || [[March 17]], [[1994]] || I am not delightfully saucy || [[Homer Loves Flanders]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|98 || [[March 31]], [[1994]] || [[Organ transplant]]s are best left to the professionals || [[Bart Gets an Elephant]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|99 || [[April 14]], [[1994]] || The [[Pledge of Allegiance]] does not end with "Hail [[Satan]]" || [[Burns' Heir]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|100 || [[April 28]], [[1994]] || I will not celebrate meaningless [[milestone]]s ''([[Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song|100th episode]])'' || [[Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|101 || [[May 05]], [[1994]] || There are plenty of businesses like [[There's No Business Like Show Business (song)|show business]] || [[The Boy Who Knew Too Much]]
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
|102 || [[May 12]], [[1994]] || I will not re-transmit without the express permission of [[Major League Baseball]] || [[Lady Bouvier's Lover]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|103 || [[May 19]], [[1994]] || Five days is not too long to [[Gun politics in the United States#Gun control laws|wait for a gun]] || [[Secrets of a Successful Marriage]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 6)|Season 6]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #BCBCBC" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #BCBCBC" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #BCBCBC" | Gag
! style="background-color: #BCBCBC" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|104 || [[September 04]], [[1994]] || Beans are neither [[Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit|a fruit nor musical]] (This takes us back to "Whacking Day") || [[Bart of Darkness]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|105 || [[September 11]], [[1994]] || No one is interested in my [[underpants]] || [[Lisa's Rival]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|106 || [[September 25]], [[1994]] || I will not use [[abbreviation|abbrev.]] || [[Another Simpsons Clip Show]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|107 || [[October 02]], [[1994]] || I am not the [[reincarnation]] of [[Sammy Davis, Jr.|Sammy Davis Jr.]] || [[Itchy & Scratchy Land]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|108 || [[October 09]], [[1994]] || ''no gag'' || [[Sideshow Bob Roberts]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|109 || [[October 30]], [[1994]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror V]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|110 || [[November 06]], [[1994]] || I will not send [[lard]] through the mail || [[Bart's Girlfriend]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|111 || [[November 13]], [[1994]] || I will not [[dissection|dissect]] things unless instructed || [[Lisa on Ice]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|112 || [[November 27]], [[1994]] || I will not [[whittling|whittle]] hall passes out of soap || [[Homer Badman]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|113 || [[December 04]], [[1994]] || My homework was not stolen by a [[The Fugitive (1993 film)|one-armed man]] ''(this is from 1F11)'' || [[Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|114 || [[December 18]], [[1994]] || [[Ralph Wiggum|Ralph]] won't "[[morphing|morph]]" if you squeeze him hard enough || [[Fear of Flying (The Simpsons)|Fear of Flying]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|115 || [[January 08]], [[1995]] || Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the [[Principal (school)|principal]] || [[Homer the Great]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|116 || [[January 22]], [[1995]] || 'Bagman' is not a legitimate [[career]] choice || [[And Maggie Makes Three]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|117 || [[February 05]], [[1995]] || [[Cursive|Cursive writing]] does not mean what I [[profanity|think it does]] || [[Bart's Comet]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|118 || [[February 12]], [[1995]] || Next time it could be me on the [[scaffolding]] || [[Homie the Clown]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|119 || [[February 19]], [[1995]] || I will not hang [[donuts]] on my person || [[Bart vs. Australia]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|120 || [[February 26]], [[1995]] || I will remember to take my [[medication]] || [[Homer vs. Patty & Selma]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|121 || [[March 05]], [[1995]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Star Is Burns]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|122 || [[March 19]], [[1995]] || I will not strut around like I own the place || [[Lisa's Wedding]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|123 || [[April 09]], [[1995]] || The [[Good Humor]] man can only be pushed so far || [[Two Dozen and One Greyhounds]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|124 || [[April 16]], [[1995]] || I do not have [[power of attorney]] over [[first grade]]rs || [[The PTA Disbands]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|125 || [[April 30]], [[1995]] || [[Nerve agent|Nerve gas]] is not a toy || [['Round Springfield]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|126 || [[May 07]], [[1995]] || I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface || [[The Springfield Connection]]
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|127 || [[May 14]], [[1995]] || The [[First Amendment to the United States Constitution|First Amendment]] does not cover burping || [[Lemon of Troy]]
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
|128 || [[May 21]], [[1995]] || This is not a clue... or is it? ''(part 1 of "[[Who Shot Mr. Burns?]]")'' || [[Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)]]
|-
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 7)|Season 7]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #9B98D8" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #9B98D8" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #9B98D8" | Gag
! style="background-color: #9B98D8" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 129 || [[September 17]], [[1995]] || I will not complain about the solution when I hear it ''(part 2 of "[[Who Shot Mr. Burns?]]")'' || [[Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 130 || [[September 24]], [[1995]] || "[[Bewitched]]" does not promote [[Satanism]] || [[Radioactive Man (The Simpsons episode)|Radioactive Man]] 
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 131 || [[October 01]], [[1995]] || No one wants to hear from my armpits || [[Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 132 || [[October 08]], [[1995]] || I am not a lean mean [[spit]]ting machine || [[Bart Sells His Soul]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 133 || [[October 15]], [[1995]] || The [[bathroom|boys' room]] is not a water park || [[Lisa the Vegetarian]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 134 || [[October 29]], [[1995]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror VI]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 135 || [[November 05]], [[1995]] || [[List of school pranks#Indian burn|Indian burns]] are not our cultural heritage || [[King-Size Homer]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 136 || [[November 19]], [[1995]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mother Simpson]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 137 || [[November 26]], [[1995]] || [[Wedgie]]s are unhealthy for children and other living things || [[Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 138 || [[December 03]], [[1995]] || I will only do this once a year ''("[[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]," a [[clip show]])'' || [[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 139 || [[December 17]], [[1995]] || I will stop talking about the [[off-color humor|twelve inch pianist]] || [[Marge Be Not Proud]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 140 || [[January 07]], [[1996]] || I am not certified to remove [[asbestos]] || [[Team Homer]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 141 || [[January 14]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Two Bad Neighbors]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 142 || [[February 04]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 143 || [[February 11]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart the Fink]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 144 || [[February 18]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa the Iconoclast]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 145 || [[February 25]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer the Smithers]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 146 || [[March 17]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Day the Violence Died]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 147 || [[March 24]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Fish Called Selma]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 148 || [[March 31]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart on the Road]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 149 || [[April 14]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[22 Short Films About Springfield]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 150 || [[April 28]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 151 || [[May 05]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Much Apu About Nothing]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 152 || [[May 19]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homerpalooza]]
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
| 153 || [[May 19]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Summer of 4 Ft. 2]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 8)|Season 8]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #8BC7D7" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #8BC7D7" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #8BC7D7" | Gag
! style="background-color: #8BC7D7" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 154 || [[October 27]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror VII]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 155 || [[November 03]], [[1996]] || I did not [[All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten|learn everything I need to know from kindergarten]] || [[You Only Move Twice]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 156 || [[November 10]], [[1996]] || I am not my [[Hugo Simpson|long-lost twin]]|| [[The Homer They Fall]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 157 || [[November 17]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Burns, Baby Burns]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 158 || [[November 24]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart After Dark]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 159 || [[December 01]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Milhouse Divided]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 160 || [[December 15]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' ''(But during the episode, Lisa writes "I will not be a snickerpuss.")'' || [[Lisa's Date with Density]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 161 || [[December 29]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Hurricane Neddy]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 162 || [[January 05]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 163 || [[January 12]], [[1997]] || The truth is [[The X-Files|not out there]] ''("[[The Springfield Files]]," an ''[[X-Files]]'' parody episode)'' || [[The Springfield Files]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 164 || [[January 19]], [[1997]] || I am not licensed to do anything (referencing [[Licence to Kill|a James Bond movie]]) || [[The Twisted World of Marge Simpson]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 165 || [[February 02]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mountain of Madness]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 166 || [[February 07]], [[1997]] || I will not hide the teacher's [[Fluoxetine|Prozac]] || [[The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 167 || [[February 09]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 168 || [[February 16]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer's Phobia]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 169 || [[February 23]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Brother from Another Series]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 170 || [[March 02]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[My Sister, My Sitter]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 171 || [[March 16]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 172 || [[April 06]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Grade School Confidential]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 173 || [[April 13]], [[1997]] || A [[fire drill]] does not demand a fire || [[The Canine Mutiny]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 174 || [[April 20]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Old Man and the Lisa]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 175 || [[April 27]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[In Marge We Trust]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 176 || [[May 04]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer's Enemy]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 177 || [[May 11]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase]]
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
| 178 || [[May 18]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Secret War of Lisa Simpson]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 9)|Season 9]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #E08DBE" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #E08DBE" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #E08DBE" | Gag
! style="background-color: #E08DBE" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 179 || [[September 21]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 180 || [[September 28]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Principal and the Pauper]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 181 || [[October 19]], [[1997]] || I no longer want my [[MTV]] ''(reference to the lyrics of the [[Dire Straits]] song [[Money for Nothing (song)|Money for Nothing]], and a possible jab at MTV's declining quality due to lack of music videos and music-related programming)'' || [[Lisa's Sax]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 182 || [[October 26]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror VIII]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 183 || [[November 02]], [[1997]] || Everyone is tired of that [[Richard Gere]] [[urban legend|story]] || [[The Cartridge Family]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 184 || [[November 09]], [[1997]] || I did not invent [[Irish dancing]] || [[Bart Star]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 185 || [[November 16]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 186 || [[November 23]], [[1997]] || I will not tease Fatty || [[Lisa the Skeptic]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 187 || [[December 07]], [[1997]] || There was no [[Roman mythology|Roman god]] named "Fartacus" || [[Realty Bites]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 188 || [[December 21]], [[1997]] || [[Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer|Rudolph]]'s red nose is not alcohol-related || [[Miracle on Evergreen Terrace]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 189 || [[January 04]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[All Singing, All Dancing]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 190 || [[January 11]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart Carny]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 191 || [[February 08]], [[1998]] || Shooting [[paintball]]s is not an art form || [[The Joy of Sect]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 192 || [[February 15]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Das Bus]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 193 || [[February 22]], [[1998]] || Pain is not the cleanser (Surprisingly, Ned Flanders shouted "Pain is the cleanser!" as he yanked his moustache in the episode [[Home Away from Homer]].) || [[The Last Temptation of Krust]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 194 || [[March 01]], [[1998]] || [[Silly string]] is not a [[nasal spray]] || [[Dumbbell Indemnity]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 195 || [[March 08]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa the Simpson]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 196 || [[March 22]], [[1998]] || I was told not to do this || [[This Little Wiggy]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 197 || [[March 29]], [[1998]] || My butt does not deserve a [[website]] || [[Simpson Tide]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 198 || [[April 05]], [[1998]] || I will not demand what I'm worth ''(This is a reference to the voice cast's recent demands for higher pay.)'' || [[The Trouble With Trillions]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 199 || [[April 19]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Girly Edition]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 200 || [[April 26]], [[1998]] || I will not mess with the [[The Simpsons#Opening sequence|opening credits]] ''(This was actually the [[couch gag]] for this episode; the rest of the family runs into the classroom to find Bart already there writing on the board.)'' || [[Trash of the Titans]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 201 || [[May 03]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[King of the Hill (The Simpsons)|King of the Hill]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 202 || [[May 10]], [[1998]] || I am not the new [[Dalai Lama]] || [[Lost Our Lisa]]
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
| 203 || [[May 17]], [[1998]] || I was not the inspiration for "[[Cosmo Kramer|Kramer]]" ''(This episode aired three days after [[The Finale (Seinfeld episode)|the last episode]] of "[[Seinfeld]]".)'' || [[Natural Born Kissers]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 10)|Season 10]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #bca56a" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #bca56a" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #bca56a" | Gag
! style="background-color: #bca56a" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 204 || [[August 23]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lard of the Dance]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 205 || [[September 20]], [[1998]] || I will not file [[frivolous litigation|frivolous lawsuits]] || [[The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 206 || [[September 27]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart the Mother]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 207 || [[October 25]], [[1998]] || The Simpsons Halloween Special IX ''(This is written in blood with a paintbrush.)'' || [[Treehouse of Horror IX]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 208 || [[November 08]], [[1998]] || "butt.com" is not my [[E-mail address]] ''(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website.  Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however.)'' || [[When You Dish upon a Star]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 209 || [[November 15]], [[1998]] || No one cares what my [[Lewinsky scandal|definition of "is"]] is || [[D'oh-in in the Wind]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 210 || [[November 22]], [[1998]] || I will not scream for [[ice cream]] || [[Lisa Gets an "A"]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 211 || [[December 06]], [[1998]] || I am not a licensed [[hairstylist]] || [[Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 212 || [[December 20]], [[1998]] || "The [[Bill Clinton|President]] did it" is not an excuse ''(This aired a day after [[Bill Clinton]] was impeached)'' || [[Mayored to the Mob]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 213 || [[January 10]], [[1999]] || My mom is not dating [[Jerry Seinfeld]] || [[Viva Ned Flanders]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 214 || [[January 17]], [[1999]] || [[Sherri and Terri|Sherri]] does not "[[Baby Got Back|got back]]" || [[Wild Barts Can't Be Broken]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 215 || [[January 31]], [[1999]] || I will not do "[[Atlanta Falcons|the dirty bird]]" ''(This episode aired the night of [[Super Bowl XXXIII]], in which the [[Atlanta Falcons]], for whom "The Dirty Bird" was a signature dance/celebration, played.)'' || [[Sunday, Cruddy Sunday]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 216 || [[February 07]], [[1999]] || No one cares about my [[sciatica]] || [[Homer to the Max]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 217 || [[February 14]], [[1999]] || [[Hillbilly|Hillbillies]] are people too || [[I'm with Cupid]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 218 || [[February 21]], [[1999]] || [[Grammar]] is not a time of waste || [[Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 219 || [[February 28]], [[1999]] || I do not have [[diplomatic immunity]] (Taken from 9F20) || [[Make Room for Lisa]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 220 || [[March 28]], [[1999]] || It does not suck to be you (A reference to a [[Prozzäk]] song) || [[Maximum Homerdrive]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 221 || [[April 04]], [[1999]] || I cannot [[Absolution|absolve]] sins ''(And during Lisa's dream in the episode:'' I will not deface'' using hieroglyphics where possible)'' || [[Simpsons Bible Stories]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 222 || [[April 11]], [[1999]] || A trained ape could not teach gym || [[Mom and Pop Art]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 223 || [[April 25]], [[1999]] || Loose [[tooth|teeth]] don't need my help || [[The Old Man and the "C" Student]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 224 || [[May 02]], [[1999]] || I have neither been there nor done that || [[Monty Can't Buy Me Love]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 225 || [[May 09]], [[1999]] || No one wants to hear from my armpits (This is from 3F01) || [[They Saved Lisa's Brain]]
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
| 226 || [[May 16]], [[1999]] || I'm so very tired ''(At this point, Bart had been doing these gags for ten seasons.)'' || [[Thirty Minutes over Tokyo]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 11)|Season 11]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 227 || [[September 26]], [[1999]] || Fridays are not "[[clothing optional|pants optional]]" ''(In Australia, [[Hamish and Andy]] (a comedy duo) have decided that Friday should be Pants off Friday.)'' || [[Beyond Blunderdome]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 228 || [[October 03]], [[1999]] || [[Pork]] is not a [[verb]] ''(the irony is that "pork" is a verb, albeit a vulgar slang term, meaning "to have sexual intercourse with")''|| [[Brother's Little Helper]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 229 || [[October 24]], [[1999]] || I am not [[the Last Don|the last Don]] ''(Possibly a reference to the 1997 TV minseries of the same name, which starred [[Joe Mantegna]], voice of recurring Simpsons character [[Fat Tony]])'' || [[Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 230 || [[October 31]], [[1999]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror X]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 231 || [[November 07]], [[1999]] || I did not win the [[Nobel Prize|Nobel Fart Prize]] || [[E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 232 || [[November 14]], [[1999]] || I won't not use no [[double negative]]s ''(since three negatives are used, the sentence is true)'' || [[Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 233 || [[November 21]], [[1999]] || [[School prank#Indian burn|Indian burns]] are not our cultural heritage (This is from 3F05) || [[Eight Misbehavin']]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 234 || [[November 28]], [[1999]] || I can't see dead people (This is a reference to [[The Sixth Sense]]) || [[Take My Wife, Sleaze]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 235 || [[December 19]], [[1999]] || I will not [[Organ transplant|sell my kidney]] on [[eBay]] (this is impossible now, since eBay prohibits the sale of organs)|| [[Grift of the Magi]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 236 || [[January 9]], [[2000]] || I will not [[Chris Ofili#Controversy|create art from dung]] || [[Little Big Mom]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 237 || [[January 16]], [[2000]] || I will stop phoning it in || [[Faith Off]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 238 || [[January 23]], [[2000]] || Class clown is not a paid position || [[The Mansion Family]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 239 || [[February 06]], [[2000]] || Substitute teachers are not [[Strike action#"Scabs"|scab]]s || [[Saddlesore Galactica]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 240 || [[February 13]], [[2000]] || My [[Suspension (school punishment)|suspension]] was not mutual || [[Alone Again, Natura-Diddily]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 241 || [[February 20]], [[2000]] || A [[belch]] is not an oral report || [[Missionary: Impossible]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 242 || [[February 27]], [[2000]] || [[Dodgeball]] stops at the gym door || [[Pygmoelian]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 243 || [[March 19]], [[2000]] || [[Flammable|Non-flammable]] is not a challenge || [[Bart to the Future]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 244 || [[April 09]], [[2000]] || I was not [[sexual harassment|touched]] [[penis|"there"]] [[Touched by an Angel|by an angel]] || [[Days of Wine and D'oh'ses]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 245 || [[April 30]], [[2000]] || I am not here on a fartball [[scholarship]] || [[Kill the Alligator and Run]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 246 || [[May 07]], [[2000]] || I will not dance on anyone's grave || [[Last Tap Dance in Springfield]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 247 || [[May 14]], [[2000]] || I cannot hire a substitute student || [[It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 248 || [[May 21]], [[2000]] || "I will not obey the voices in my head" || [[Behind the Laughter]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 12)|Season 12]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 249 || [[November 01]], [[2000]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XI]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 250 || [[November 05]], [[2000]] || I will not plant sublimin<span style="color: green;">'''al'''</span> messa'''[[Al Gore|<span style="color: green;">gore</span>]]'''s (aired two days before the [[United States presidential election, 2000|2000 U.S. presidential election]]) || [[A Tale of Two Springfields]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 251 || [[November 12]], [[2000]] || I will not surprise the [[incontinence|incontinent]] || [[Insane Clown Poppy]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 252 || [[November 19]], [[2000]] || I am not the [[Acting President of the United States|acting president]] (aired during the legal contest over the results of the 2000 presidential election) || [[Lisa the Tree Hugger]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 253 || [[November 26]], [[2000]] || I was not the [[Fifth Beatle|sixth Beatle]] || [[Homer vs. Dignity]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 254 || [[December 03]], [[2000]] || I will only provide a urine sample when asked || [[The Computer Wore Menace Shoes]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 255 || [[December 10]], [[2000]] || The nurse is not dealing || [[The Great Money Caper]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 256 || [[December 17]], [[2000]] || Science class should not end in [[tragedy]] ''(During the episode, Skinner writes "I ain't not a dorkus")'' || [[Skinner's Sense of Snow]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 257 || [[January 07]], [[2001]] || Network TV is not dead || [[HOMR]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 258 || [[January 14]], [[2001]] || I will not "[[Who Let the Dogs Out|let the dogs out]]" ''(reference a song made popular by the [[Baha Men]])'' || [[Pokey Mom]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 259 || [[February 04]], [[2001]] || I will not hide the teacher's medication || [[Worst Episode Ever]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 260 || [[February 11]], [[2001]] || I will not publish the principal's [[credit history|credit report]] || [[Tennis the Menace]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 261 || [[February 18]], [[2001]] || The hamster did not have a "full life" || [[Day of the Jackanapes]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 262 || [[February 25]], [[2001]] || I will not buy a [[presidential pardon]] ''(This refers to the [[Bill Clinton pardons controversy]], involving 140 pardons he issued on his last day in office.)'' || [[New Kids on the Blecch]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 263 || [[March 04]], [[2001]] || "[[Temptation Island]]" was not a sleazy piece of crap || [[Hungry, Hungry Homer]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 264 || [[March 11]], [[2001]] || I will not scare the [[Dick Cheney|vice president]] ''(a reference to VP Cheney's heart condition)'' || [[Bye Bye Nerdie]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 265 || [[April 01]], [[2001]] || I will not flush evidence || [[Simpson Safari]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 266 || [[April 29]], [[2001]] || Fire is not the cleanser || [[Trilogy of Error]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 267 || [[May 06]], [[2001]] || [[Genetics]] is not an excuse || [[I'm Goin' to Praiseland]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 268 || [[May 13]], [[2001]] || Today is not [[Mothra]]'s Day ''(This episode aired on [[Mother's Day]].)'' || [[Children of a Lesser Clod]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 269 || [[May 20]], [[2001]] || I should not be twenty-one by now ''(Referring to the fact that Bart has been the age of ten for over eleven years.)'' || [[Simpsons Tall Tales]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 13)|Season 13]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 270 || [[November 06]], [[2001]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XII]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 271 || [[November 11]], [[2001]] || Nobody reads these anymore || [[The Parent Rap]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 272 || [[November 18]], [[2001]] || A burp in a jar is not a science project || [[Homer the Moe]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 273 || [[December 02]], [[2001]] || Fun does not have a size || [[A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 274 || [[December 09]], [[2001]] || I am not [[Charlie Brown]] on [[LSD|acid]] (''reference to how critics described "[[South Park]]"'') || [[The Blunder Years]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 275 || [[December 16]], [[2001]] || I do not have a [[cereal]] named after me ''(In fact, he did: "Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch". In the UK they released "Bart Simpson's No Problem-os)'' || [[She of Little Faith]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 276 || [[January 06]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Brawl in the Family]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 277 || [[January 20]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Sweets and Sour Marge]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 278 || [[January 27]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Jaws Wired Shut]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 279 || [[February 10]], [[2002]] || I will not bite the hand that feeds me [[Butterfinger]]s ''(A reference to his Butterfinger commercials and how, after a blatant jab two episodes earlier, the ads had been canceled.)'' || [[Half-Decent Proposal]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 280 || [[February 17]], [[2002]] || [[The Giving Tree]] is not a chump || [[The Bart Wants What It Wants]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 281 || [[February 24]], [[2002]] || Making [[Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]] cry is not a science project || [[The Lastest Gun in the West]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 282 || [[March 10]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Old Man and the Key]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 283 || [[March 17]], [[2002]]|| [[Vampire]] is not a career choice || [[Tales from the Public Domain]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 284 || [[March 31]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Blame It on Lisa]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 285 || [[April 07]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Weekend at Burnsie's]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 286 || [[April 21]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Gump Roast]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 287 || [[April 28]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[I Am Furious Yellow]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 288 || [[May 05]], [[2002]] || I will never [[Matt Groening|lie about being cancelled]] again ''(a reference to Matt Groening spreading a rumor that The Simpsons was going to end its run after this season)'' || [[The Sweetest Apu]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 289 || [[May 12]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Little Girl in the Big Ten]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 290 || [[May 19]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Frying Game]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 291 || [[May 22]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Papa's Got a Brand New Badge]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 14)|Season 14]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 292 || [[November 03]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XIII]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 293 || [[November 10]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[How I Spent My Strummer Vacation]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 294 || [[November 17]], [[2002]] || Fish do not like [[coffee]] || [[Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 295 || [[November 24]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Large Marge]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 296 || [[December 01]], [[2002]] || [[Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]] did not test [[Cooties|cootie]] positive || [[Helter Shelter]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 297 || [[December 15]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Great Louse Detective]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 298 || [[January 05]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Special Edna]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 299 || [[January 12]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Dad Who Knew Too Little]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 300 || [[February 02]], [[2003]] || This school does not need a "[[regime change]]" ''(reference to the then-upcoming [[2003 Invasion of Iraq|War In Iraq]])'' || [[Strong Arms of the Ma]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 301 || [[February 09]], [[2003]] || [[SpongeBob SquarePants (character)|SpongeBob]] is not a [[contraceptive]] || [[Pray Anything]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 302 || [[February 16]], [[2003]] || I will not ''(Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe.)'' || [[Barting Over]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 303 || [[February 16]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 304 || [[March 02]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Star Is Born-Again]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 305 || [[March 09]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 306 || [[March 16]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[C.E. D'oh]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 307 || [[March 30]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [['Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 308 || [[April 13]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Three Gays of the Condo]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 309 || [[April 27]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Dude, Where's My Ranch?]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 310 || [[May 04]], [[2003]] || My pen is not a [[booger]] launcher || [[Old Yeller Belly]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 311 || [[May 11]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Brake My Wife, Please]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 312 || [[May 18]], [[2003]] || [[Sandwich]]es should not contain [[sand]] || [[Bart of War]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 313 || [[May 18]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Moe Baby Blues]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 15)|Season 15]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 314 || [[November 02]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XIV]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 315 || [[November 09]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[My Mother the Carjacker]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 316 || [[November 16]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[The President Wore Pearls]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 317 || [[November 23]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Regina Monologues]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 318 || [[November 30]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Fat and the Furriest]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 319 || [[December 07]], [[2003]] || Over forty & single is not funny || [[Today I Am a Clown]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 320 || [[December 14]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [['Tis the Fifteenth Season]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 321 || [[January 04]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 322 || [[January 11]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 323 || [[January 25]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Diatribe of a Mad Housewife]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 324 || [[February 08]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Margical History Tour]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 325 || [[February 15]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 326 || [[February 22]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Smart and Smarter]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 327 || [[March 14]], [[2004]] || I will not speculate on how hot [[Mrs. Krabappel|teacher]] used to be || [[The Ziff Who Came to Dinner]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 328 || [[March 21]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Co-Dependent's Day]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 329 || [[March 28]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Wandering Juvie]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 330 || [[April 18]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[My Big Fat Geek Wedding]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 331 || [[April 25]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Catch 'Em if You Can]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 332 || [[May 02]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Simple Simpson]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 333 || [[May 09]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Way We Weren't]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 334 || [[May 16]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart-Mangled Banner]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 335 || [[May 23]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Fraudcast News]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 16)|Season 16]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 336 || [[November 07]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XV]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 337 || [[November 14]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[All's Fair in Oven War]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 338 || [[November 21]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Sleeping with the Enemy (The Simpsons episode)|Sleeping with the Enemy]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 339 || [[December 05]], [[2004]] || Poking a dead [[raccoon]] is not research || [[She Used to Be My Girl]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 340 || [[December 12]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Fat Man and Little Boy (The Simpsons)|Fat Man and Little Boy]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 341 || [[January 16]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Midnight Rx]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 342 || [[January 30]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mommie Beerest]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 343 || [[February 06]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 344 || [[February 13]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Pranksta Rap]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 345 || [[February 20]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[There's Something About Marrying]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 346 || [[March 06]], [[2005]] || Beer in a [[milk carton]] is not milk || [[On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 347 || [[March 13]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Goo Goo Gai Pan]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 348 || [[March 20]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mobile Homer]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 349 || [[April 03]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Seven-Beer Snitch]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 350 || [[April 17]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Future-Drama]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 351 || [[May 01]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Don't Fear the Roofer]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 352 || [[May 01]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Heartbroke Kid]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 353 || [[May 08]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Star Is Torn]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 354 || [[May 08]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Thank God It's Doomsday]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 355 || [[May 15]], [[2005]] || A [[booger]] is not a bookmark || [[Home Away from Homer]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 356 || [[May 15]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Father, The Son & The Holy Guest Star]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 17)|Season 17]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 357 || [[September 11]], [[2005]] || Does any kid still do this anymore? (''refers to the diminishing frequency of the chalkboard gag, as well as the real-life punishment'') || [[Bonfire of the Manatees]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 358 || [[September 18]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Girl Who Slept Too Little]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 359 || [[September 25]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Milhouse of Sand and Fog]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 360 || [[November 06]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XVI]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 361 || [[November 13]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Marge's Son Poisoning]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 362 || [[November 20]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[See Homer Run]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 363 || [[November 27]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Last of the Red Hat Mamas]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 364 || [[December 11]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Italian Bob]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 365 || [[December 18]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Simpsons Christmas Stories]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 366 || [[January 08]], [[2006]] || I am not smarter than the [[George W. Bush|President]] || [[Homer's Paternity Coot]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 367 || [[January 29]], [[2006]] || [[Mrs. Krabappel|Teacher]] was not dumped&mdash;it was mutual || [[We're on the Road to D'ohwhere]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 368 || [[February 26]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[My Fair Laddy]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 369 || [[March 12]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Seemingly Never-Ending Story]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 370 || [[March 19]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart Has Two Mommies]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 371 || [[March 26]], [[2006]] || I will not laminate dog doo ''(The first airing of this episode included a special [[live-action|live action]] opening with'' 'I will not eat things for money' ''as the gag.)'' || [[Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 372 || [[April 02]], [[2006]] || I will not flip the [[classroom]] upside down ''(The classroom is flipped upside down.)'' || [[Million Dollar Abie]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 373 || [[April 09]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 374 || [[April 23]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Wettest Stories Ever Told]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 375 || [[April 30]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[Girls Just Want to Have Sums]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 376 || [[May 07]], [[2006]] || I will not leak the plot of [[The Simpsons Movie|the movie]] || [[Regarding Margie]]
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 377 || [[May 14]], [[2006]] || Je ne parle pas français ''("I do not speak [[French language|French]].") || [[The Monkey Suit]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 378 || [[May 21]], [[2006]] || Have a great summer, everyone ''(last episode of the season)'' || [[Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play]]
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 18)|Season 18]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 379 || [[September 10]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 380 || [[September 17]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Jazzy and the Pussycats]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 381 || [[September 24]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' ''(But during the episode, Skinner writes "A baby beat me up" when Bart begins torturing Skinner by taking advantage of his peanut allergy)'' || "[[Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 382 || [[November 5]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Treehouse of Horror XVII]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 383 || [[November 12]], [[2006]] || We are not all naked under our clothes || "[[G.I. D'oh]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 384 || [[November 19]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Moe'N'a Lisa]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 385 || [[November 26]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 386 || [[December 10]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[The Haw-Hawed Couple]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 387 || [[December 17]], [[2006]] || [[Frankincense]] is not [[Frankenstein's monster|a monster]] || "[[Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 388 || [[January 7]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[The Wife Aquatic]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 389 || [[January 28]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 390 || [[February 11]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' ''(But during the episode, Bart writes "So long suckers")''|| "[[Little Big Girl]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 391 || [[February 18]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Springfield Up]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 392 || [[March 4]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Yokel Chords]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 393 || [[March 11]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Rome-old and Juli-eh]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 394 || [[March 25]], [[2007]] || [[Global Warming]] did not eat my homework || "[[Homerazzi]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 395 || [[April 22]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Marge Gamer]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 396 || [[April 29]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[The Boys of Bummer]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 397 || [[May 6]], [[2007]] || I will not look up how much [[Mrs. Krabappel|teacher]] makes || "[[Crook and Ladder]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 398 || [[May 13]], [[2007]] || Pearls are not oyster barf || "[[Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 399 || [[May 20]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' ''(special 24-style opening)''|| "[[24 Minutes]]"
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
| 400 || [[May 20]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' ''(normal opening sequence replaced with a black screen that says "20 years ago", followed by a full showing of the [[Tracy Ullman Show]] Simpsons short "Family Portrait")'' || "[[You Kent Always Say What You Want]]"
|}

== [[The Simpsons (season 19)|Season 19]] ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
|401 || [[September 23]], [[2007]] || I will not wait 20 years to make [[The Simpsons Movie|another movie]] || "[[He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|402 || [[September 30]], [[2007]] || [[The Wall Street Journal]] is better than ever || "[[The Homer of Seville]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
|403 || [[October 7]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Midnight Towboy]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|404 || [[October 14]], [[2007]] || I am not a [[Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation|FDIC]]-insured bank. || "[[I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
|405 || [[November 4]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Treehouse of Horror XVIII]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|406 || [[November 11]], [[2007]] || There is no such thing as an [[iPod]]dy || "[[Little Orphan Millie]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
|407 || [[November 18]], [[2007]] || The [[Pilgrim]]s were not [[illegal alien]]s || "[[Husbands and Knives]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|408 || [[November 25]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Funeral for a Fiend]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
|409 || [[December 16]], [[2007]] || The capital of [[Montana]] is not "[[Hannah Montana|Hannah]]" || "[[Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|410 || [[January 6]], [[2008]] || [[Edna Krabappel|Teacher]] did not pay too much for her condo || "[[E Pluribus Wiggum]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
|411 || [[January 27]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[That 90's Show]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|412 || [[February 17]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Love, Springfieldian Style]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
|413 || [[March 2]], [[2008]] || The art teacher is fat, not pregnant || "[[The Debarted]]"
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
|414 || [[March 9]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Dial 'N' for Nerder]]"
|}

== ''The Simpsons Movie'' ==
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
|-
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
| 1 || [[July 27]], [[2007]] || I will not [[Illegal downloading|illegally download]] this movie || [[The Simpsons Movie]]
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"