Editing Ring-a-Ding Springfield/Quotes

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:'''[[Clancy Wiggum]]:''' Venetian who? Listen, buddy, can I put you on hold for a sec? I'm on the other line... Otto, I'm putting the terroist back on the line! Whatever you do, do not let the bus drop below 50 miles per hour, or it'll explode!
:'''[[Otto]]:''' This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to get bombed this morning!
:'''[[Ralph]]:''' Daddy, why is the bus going so fast?
:'''[[Clancy Wiggum]]:''' Uh... Otto's racing the other buses to see who can get you kids to school the quickest!
:'''[[Ralph]]:''' What happens when there's no more road?
:'''[[Clancy Wiggum]]:''' Don't worry, Ralphie, that could never happen.
:'''[[Otto]]:''' Uh, actually, fuzzmeister, the little dude's on to something...
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:'''[[Ned]]:''' Hello? God, is it you?
:'''[[Fat Tony]]:''' So we're goin' biblical with the code names now, 'zat it? Okay, I'll play along-- this is God calling to tell you that you are late with your tithe payment.
:'''[[Ned]]:''' Uh.... I think you might have the wrong numberino there, omnipotent one!
:'''[[Fat Tony]]:''' Unless you'd like a little "disco inferno" at your night club, you'd better pass us the collection plate immediately!
:'''[[Ned]]:''' Uh, can I just put you on hold for a sec?
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:'''[[Moe]]:''' So, you need mo' of Moe... eh baby? Hahahaha! Get it? Mo' of Moe! Seriously, you wanna get married? 'cause If you ain't afraid of a man with chronic psoriasis and a manageable B.O. condition, then let's take the plunge!
:'''[[Bart]]:''' Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
:'''[[Moe]]:''' What's so funny? Oh great, you can hear how ugly I am, can't you?
:'''[[Bart]]:''' Man, that prank call was too easy! HE made a jerk of himself before I could even say anything!
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:'''[[Professor Frink]]:''' I've finally invented a phone that can call alternate universes! Greetings, oh, mighty peer of parallel-attitude [NNG-HEY!] tell me, how is your universe different from mine? What makes it special?
:'''[[Apu]]:''' Special? Well, for a limited time we are offering the Kwik-E Combo... a 72-ounce Squishee, A Kwik-E corn dog, and a dirty magazine of your choosing for only $9.99 plus tax!
:'''[[Professor Frink]]:''' Kwik-E combo?! You're not from an alternate universe, are you?
:'''[[Apu]]:''' Sir, you have obviously not been to Calcutta.
:'''[[Professor Frink]]:''' What's the use? MY phone is a flop!
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:'''[[Cletus]]:''' Are you sayin' ifn'n I buy this here "science phone," I can talk to astronauts and aliens?
:'''[[Nelson]]:''' Yeah, sure, whatever! IT's twenty bucks, take it or leave it.
:'''[[Cletus]]:''' I don't know... how come it ain't in a box or got no storybook that shows you how to use it?
:'''[[Nelson]]:''' Er, ah, there they are!
:'''[[Nelson]]:''' Because it talks to you and tells you how to use it, all right?!
:'''[[Joe Quimby]]:''' Those are the thugs that stole my cell phone!
:'''[[Nelson]]:''' Uh-oh!
:'''[[Cletus]]:''' Hey, what about my telly-phone?
:'''[[Nelson]]:''' Run for it!