Editing A Star Is Burns/Quotes

{{TabQ
|episode=A_Star_Is_Burns
}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer vs. Patty and Selma|Lisa's Wedding}}

:''[The Springfielders have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. [[Marge]] suggests hosting a [[Springfield Film Festival|film festival]] and having townspeople enter their own movies.]''
:'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': "All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?"
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting in unison]'' "Film festival! Film festival!"
:'''Marge''': "You like my idea? Actually, I have several others--"
:'''Crowd''': ''[in unison, cutting her off]'' "Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!"
----
:''[On TV, [[Rainier Wolfcastle]] is appearing on ''Coming Attractions'', [[Jay Sherman]]'s show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie, ''McBain: Let's Get Silly'', which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers (and many other audience members) with various weapons.]''
:'''Wolfcastle''': "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars."
:'''Jay''': ''[disgusted]'' "How do you sleep at night?"
:'''Wolfcastle''': "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies."
:'''Jay''': ''[even more disgusted]'' "Just asking. Yeesh!"
----
:''[At the airport, the Simpsons meet [[Jay Sherman]], who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]''
:'''[[Marge]]''': "Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, [[Homer]]."
:'''Jay''': "Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. ''[to Homer]'' And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil."
:'''Homer''': "It was a Gummi Bear."
----
:''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with [[Señor Spielbergo]], his director.]''
:'''Burns''': "Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for {{w|Oskar Schindler}}."
:'''Spielbergo''': ''[looking doubtful]'' "Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo."
:'''Burns''': "Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine '''worked''', dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!"
----
:''[At the Simpson home, [[Jay Sherman]] talks with [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] while [[Homer]] watches.]''
:'''Patty''': "Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert."
:'''Selma''': "So tell us. Who's gay?"
:'''Jay''': "Oh, I don't know ... [[Harvey Fierstein]]."
:'''Selma''': "No!"
:'''Patty''': "Who else?"
:''[Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]''
:'''Jay''': "Oh. [[MacGyver]]'s gay."
:''[Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]''
:''[The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]''
:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[seeing Jay and laughing]'' "You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?"
----
:'''[[Julius Hibbert|Dr. Hibbert]]''': ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' "Oh, I thought they were showing ''{{w|The Rocky Horror Picture Show}}'' tonight."
----
:''[At the film festival, [[Hans Moleman]]'s ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]''
:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' "This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!"
:'''[[Jay Sherman]]''': ''[disapprovingly]'' "This '''isn't''' ''{{w|America's Funniest Home Videos}}''."
:'''Homer''': "But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! ''[still laughing]'' Roll it again!"
----
:'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': "Smithers, are they booing me?"
:'''[[Smithers]]''': "Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns."
:'''Burns''': ''[to crowd]'' "Are you saying 'boo' or 'Boo-urns'?"
:'''Crowd''': "Boooooooooooo!"
:'''[[Hans Moleman]]''': ''[to himself]'' "'''I''' was saying 'Boo-urns'."
----
:''[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the [[Springfield Film Festival]]. [[Jay Sherman]] is dismayed that [[Mr. Burns]]' movie is drawing votes.]''
:'''Jay''': "How can you vote for Burns' movie?"
:'''[[Krusty]]''': "Let's just say it ''moved'' me ... '''TO A BIGGER HOUSE!!''' Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet."
----
:''[A remake of [[Hans Moleman]]'s [[Man Getting Hit by Football|movie]] is an Academy Award contender.]''
:'''[[George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen, getting hit by football]'' "Ow! My groin!"

{{Season 6 Q}}
[[Category:Quotes]]