Editing The War of the Simpsons/Quotes

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Lisa's Substitute|Three Men and a Comic Book|The War of the Simpsons}}

:'''[[Barney]] (to [[Patty]])''' "Hey! You're Homer's sister-in-law, right? I remember you. But I don't remember you being so beau''[burp]''tiful!"
:(She sprays him in the eyes with {{W|Mace (spray)|Mace}})
:Barney: "Oh, ow, hey, ''[burp]'' ''[cough]'' Is that a new kind of Mace?  It's really painful!"
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:'''[[Bart]]''': Grampa! Mom was in such a hurry she forgot to give you this. It's a list of the things Lisa and I can and can't do.
:'''[[Grampa]]''': Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You're allowed to smoke cigars?
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:'''[[Lisa]]''': Half a gallon of chocolate?
:'''Bart''': Check.
:'''Lisa''': Half a gallon of chocolate brownie fudge?
:'''Bart''': Check.
:'''Lisa''': Half a gallon of chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate dish?
:'''Bart''': Yep.
:'''Grampa''': Did your mom ''really'' write that shopping list?
:'''Lisa''': Grampa, what a question.
:'''Bart''': What's next, Lis?
:'''Lisa''': Sprinkles and syrup.
:'''Bart''': Hey Grampa, aisle 6 and step on it.
:'''Grampa''': Alright, but put out that cigar.
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:'''[[McBain]]''': But, captain, I can't avenge my partner's death with the pea shooter.
:'''Captain''': I don't wanna hear it, McBain – tha-that cannon of yours is against regulations! In this department, we go by the book. ''[McBain fires part of the book through the wall]''
:'''McBain''': Bye, book.
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:'''Bait Shop Clerk:''' Yep, 'General Sherman'.  They say he's five hundred pounds of bottom-dwelling fury, don't you know.  No one knows how old he is, but if you ask me (and most people do), he's hundred years if he's a day.
:'''Customer:''' And uh no one's ever caught him?
:'''Bait Shop Clerk:''' Well, one fella came close.  Went by the name of Homer.  Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks.  His eyes were like steel, cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of Hell...

{{Season 2 Q}}
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[[Category:Quotes]]