Editing Milhouse FTW!

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = Milhouse FTW!
|image = 
|level = 8
|update = {{TOCU|"The Yellow Badge of Cowardge" episode tie-in}}
|requirements = 
|characters = [[Milhouse]], [[Fit™ Milhouse]]
|optional = 
|previous = 
|next = 
}}

'''Milhouse FTW!''' is a temporary questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in {{TOCU|"The Yellow Badge of Cowardge" episode tie-in}} content update.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|{{*}}Sigh*}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Hey, it's what's-his-name… Glasses McBluehair?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|No, Mr. Simpson. My name is--}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sarcastic}}
{{TB|Wait, don't tell me! I totally know you -- you're Lisa's boyfriend, or girlfriend, or something. Uhhh… Martin?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|No, close though.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|Okay, think, Homer. Not Nelson, because he's cool. God, I wish I was Nelson. Okay, gotta focus… close to Martin… Comic Book Guy?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|That's not a good guess at all.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Principal Skinner? Duffman? Lard Lad? The Kwik-E-Mart?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|My last name is Van Houten.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|...}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|Are you sure I know you?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|{{*}}Sigh*}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon}}
{{TB|Hey Homer! Whatcha doin'?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Just messing with Milhouse to cheer him up. He seemed kind of down.}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon}}
{{TB|Sorry to hear that. What's up, kid? Did future Lisa future divorce future you again?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|No, field day is coming up at school and I've already got a closet full of last-place trophies in one of those. I don't know what to do.}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon}}
{{TB|You could rent a storage unit!}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon}}
{{TB|Yeah, I bet you could fit a crapload of last-place trophies in one of those.}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon}}
{{TB|It's fun solving people's problems!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|I think Milhouse actually wants to NOT lose.}}

{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Oh, like win? That's super-hard.}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon}}
{{TB|I'd seriously give the storage unit some thought.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Come on, guys – let's help him win!}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Do you guys actually know anything about fitness?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|I know “feel the burn” is a thing. And there's something called cardio, which is either good or bad. Also electrolytes, maybe?}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon}}
{{TB|Listen to Professor {{Ch|Jack LaLanne|Jack Lalanne}} over here!}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Maybe I should just look up fitness on the internet.}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon}}
{{TB|The inter-what-now?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|The internet. It's where I learned about the civil war, dinosaurs, my parents' divorce, my parents getting back together…}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|…the tidal wave approaching Springfield, the assassination of Trotsky--}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|They assassinated Trotsky?!}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|There were dinosaurs?!}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|I'm gonna go do an internet search for “rock-hard male bodies.”}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon}}
{{TB|Just make sure safe search is on with that one.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Milhouse Research Fitness on the Internet|6 hours|the [[Van Houten House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|I think we were really close to helping Morton.}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon}}
{{TB|Totally! You should have kept saying science words.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|I kind of ran out.}}
{{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
{{TB|Hello, did I hear my name?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Yeah, like a million lines ago. It's nothing, it was a joke.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Hey, here's Milhouse now. How did the web surfing go?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Pretty good. The internet is a weird place, but it sure has products to buy. Can I borrow your credit card, Mr. Simpson?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|I don't see why not. Knock yourself out.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|This card says “Todd Flanders.”}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Well I’m not gonna give you my “Ned Flanders” card! You’re just not ready for that flexible spending limit.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Milhouse Order Unnecessary Fitness Gadgets|4 hours|the [[Van Houten House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Alright! My stuff is here already. Physical fitness, here I come!}}
{{TBT|'''Message'''}}
{{TB|You'll find the Fit™ Milhouse outfit in your inventory!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Fit™ Milhouse's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|This outfit is great! It's like I got a little fitter just putting it on!}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Now for the most important part of getting in shape… choosing a sports drink.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|YARR! How about a salty treat from the deep to quench that thirst? Allow me to introduce…}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon|Aghast}}
{{TB|Captain McCallister's very own Obesotade!}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Who's Captain McAllister?}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|That's me. Sea Captain, Captain McAllister. Same thing. Same guy.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|I've never heard anyone call you Captain McAllister.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|YAR. You're making this into something it's not. My last name is McAllister -- Captain McAllister, who is a sea captain.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|I sell a product. It's effective. You should buy some.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Okay, tell me more, Mister McAllister.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|Not Mister, Captain. Mine is the only brine-based sports drink scientifically guaranteed to make you lose weight by peeing out more water than you take in.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Even as a naïve ten-year-old, I question that as a fitness strategy.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|And how many whales have you killed?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Two.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon|Aghast}}
{{TB|Shiver me timbers, that's two more than me.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|Listen my lad, the only question you need to ask yourself is which color you'd prefer. Will it be goat-urine yellow or rigor-mortis blue?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|If you promise to go away afterwards, I'll take a gallon of both. And here's my credit card.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|Ah yes, Todd Flanders. I sold a barrel of grog to your father Ned just yesterday.}}
{{Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon}}
{{TB|He's fatter and balder than I remember, but aren't we all.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Fit ™ Milhouse Guzzle Sports Drinks|12 hours}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Fit™ Milhouse's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Now that I've bought a bunch of stuff on the internet, guzzled copious amounts of sugary sea water…}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|…and been to the hospital for acute kidney failure, I guess I'd better get exercising.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Fit ™ Milhouse 'Work It'|24 hours}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|Feel the burn Milhouse! Feel the burn!!}}
{{TBT|'''Message'''}}
{{TB|Milhouse is getting in shape. Just like tapping through all the dialog in this update got your finger in shape.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 4|colspan=2}}
{{TBT|'''Message'''}}
{{TB|Can Milhouse actually pull this 'fitness' thing off? Find out on this Sunday's episode of The Simpsons, 8/7c on FOX!}}
{{Tapped Out Lugash Icon}}
{{TB|Lugash see chubby American boy making silly moves in outdated exercising clothes!}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Look who's talking! You smoke, you drink a bottle of vodka a day…}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|…you've never seen a vegetable, and your heart is mostly transplanted pig valves.}}
{{Tapped Out Lugash Icon}}
{{TB|How you know these things?}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|They're written on your brochure and you have them tattooed on your back.}}
{{Tapped Out Lugash Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|That was crazy night. Never drink and redo brochure.}}
{{Tapped Out Lugash Icon}}
{{TB|When you are ready to stop silly girl moves and become best, come to gym.}}
{{Tapped Out Milhouse Icon}}
{{TB|{{*}}Gasp* You mean you're offering to be my own personal trainer?}}
{{Tapped Out Lugash Icon}}
{{TB|Yes, but for a price. Lugash is premium!}}
{{TBT|'''Message'''}}
{{TB|Is Milhouse tough enough to handle Lugash's training regime? Complete Lugash's “The Cranky Man Can” storyline to find out!}}
}}

[[Category:The Simpsons: Tapped Out episode tie-in quests]]