Editing All Singing, All Dancing/Quotes

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Miracle on Evergreen Terrace|Bart Carny}}

{{qf|[[Marge]]}} We got the popcorn! Did you get ''Waiting to Exhale''?
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Well, they put us on the ''Waiting to Exhale'' waiting list, but they said don't hold yer breath.
:''[Homer walks into the living room.]''
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Did you get ''Emma''? Did you get ''Emma''? Didja, didja, didja, huh?
{{qf|Homer}} Whoa, whoa. Calm down, little lady. Take it easy, take it easy, heh, heh. No.
{{qf|Marge}} What did you get?
{{qf|Homer}} Something very close, exactly along those lines. A Clint Eastwood-[[Lee Marvin]] shoot-'em-up Western!
:''[Lisa and Marge share an annoyed murmur. Bart puts a tape in the VCR.)
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} So prepare yourself for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage of [[Joshua Logan]]'s ''[[Paint Your Wagon]]''.
{{qf|Homer}} With blood, I bet!
:''[Puts on tape.]''
{{qf|Man}} Hey, that's a pretty sorry-lookin' wagon you got there, mister.
{{qf|[[Clint Eastwood]]}} I reckon it could use a... coat of paint.
{{qf|Man}} ''[calling out happily]'' Well, what are we waitin' for?
:''[Music starts and the man and outlaw begin dancing.]''
{{qf|Clint Eastwood and Man}} ''[singing]'' Gonna paint our wagon. Gonna paint it good. We ain't braggin'. We're gonna coat that wood!
{{qf|Homer}} They're singing! They're singing, Marge! Why aren't they killing each other?
:''[Homer sees something on-screen.]''
{{qf|Homer}} Wait, wait, wait! Here comes Lee Marvin! Thank [[God]]! He's always drunk and violent!
:''[He isn't this time.]''
{{qf|Marge}} Who knew that Lee Marvin could do such marvelous splits?
{{qf|Lisa}} He's dreamy.
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, why did they have to screw up a perfectly serviceable wagon story with all that fruity singing?
{{qf|Marge}} I thought it was toe-tapping fun.
{{qf|Homer}} Singing is the lowest form of communication.
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, you sing all the time.
{{qf|Homer}} No I don't. I hate to rhyme.
:''[Music starts and the family starts to sing.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} You like musicals... don't you, dad?
{{qf|Homer}} No, I don't. I think they're bad! They're fake, and phony, and totally wrong!
{{qf|Bart}} Wake up dad, you're singing a song!
{{qf|Homer}} I wouldn't, I couldn't, I hate that stuff!
{{qf|Marge}} Now, Homer, listen, I've had enough! In our family videos, we have plainly seen, you're a singing, dancing, entertainment machine.
----
{{qf|Bart}} ''[singing]'' Mom was right, you're singing's a sin. You're a Les Misera-blay as Lee Marvi-Ahh!
:''[Homer starts to strangle Bart.]''
{{qf|Marge}} ''[singing]'' Sure, your dad singing could make your hair curl. But you, too, Bart, have sung and danced like a girl.
{{qf|Bart}} Eep.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[singing]'' That was pretty bad, Bart, but it could have been worse. You could have been carrying a sequined purse!
{{qf|Bart}} ''[singing]'' I hate to dance, and prance, and sing. That's really more of a [[Milhouse]] thing!
{{qf|Marge}} ''[singing]'' I think you move like a young {{W|Mikhail Baryshnikov|Baryshnikov}}!
:''[Snake jumps in through the window and points a shotgun at the family]''
{{qf|[[Snake]]}} ''[singing]'' Ha, nobody move, or I'll blow your heads off!
----
:''[Snake holds the family at gunpoint.]''
{{qf|Marge}} ''[singing]'' It's a desperate criminal, on the run from the law. Please, spare my children...
{{qf|Homer}} ''[singing]'' And their damp-trousered pa!
{{qf|Snake}} ''[singing]'' A singing family! it's worse than I feared. For hostage purposes, you're just too weird! ''[spoken]'' Bye!
----
:''[Snake jumps back in through the window.]''
{{qf|Snake}} ''[singing]'' Because of you all, I got a tune in my head. And the only way to stop it is to make you all dead!
{{qf|Homer}} Ugh, I knew I should have shut that window.
----
{{qf|Homer}} ''[singing]'' All right, Marge! You've convinced me there are more terrible things than musical comedies where everyone sings!
:''[Lisa, [[Maggie]] and Bart form a kick line.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[singing]'' There is something worse!
{{qf|Bart}} ''[singing]'' And it really does blow!
{{qf|Simpsons}} ''[singing]'' When a long-running series does a cheesy clip show!
----
{{qf|Snake}} ''[singing]'' I'm back to commit felonious assault. Because your infernal singing just would not halt!
{{qf|Marge}} ''[spoken]'' Actually, we're done.
{{qf|Bart}} ''[from now on, all spoken]'' Done, done.
{{qf|Marge}} And not a moment too soon.
{{qf|Snake}} Oh, okay then. Well, then I got no beef with you.
:''[He jumps out the window.]''

{{Season 9|Q}}