Editing One Angry Lisa/Quotes

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Habeas Tortoise|Lisa the Boy Scout}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} An exercise bike? Why would you want that, instead of getting locked into a gym membership you could never use and can't cancel?
----
{{qf|{{ap|Jesse|One Angry Lisa}}}} What's up, [[Pedalon]] family? My name is Jesse, and I care about you. All of you. Except for the woman on the bottom left. Your credit card was declined. Repo men are on the way!
----
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Oh, my God. A positive online interaction. Can you believe it, Alexa?
{{qf|[[Amazon Alexa]]}} I'm on my break.
----
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} It's a jury summons, in my name!
{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Ignore it. When you're my age, the last thing you want to do is stay still in a box.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Stupid Peloton! I mean, Pedalon! ''[looking at the camera]'' Uh, you know what I mean!
----
{{qf|Homer}} Wait a minute, "Marge in Charge"? What happened to Mrs. Marge Simpson?
{{qf|Marge}} I'm just getting tired of the same old things.
{{qf|Homer}} Like my last name? That was my gift to you at our wedding.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Am I overreacting to my wife being taken in by a cult?
{{qf|Marge}} It's not a cult. It's just a group of people improving their lives, paying money, and slavishly following a charismatic leader. Ah. Boy, do I love drinking that [[Pedalon Kool-Aid|Kool-Aid]].
----
{{qf|Homer}} You brought Jesse into our bedroom.
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, sweetie, don't worry. Yes, I may dream about him, spend most of my day with him, use up half our disposable income on him. But I'm married to you, Jesse. Homer! Homer, Homer. I'm married to Homer. Now, let's get to Jesse. Sleep. Sleep. Homer. Oh... Mmm.
----
{{qf|Homer}} I got nothing to go home to except my incredibly fit wife.
----
{{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} I wish I was a ride instructor.
{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} Yeah, me, too. Except for the bike riding, and saying encouraging things. And I'm not allowed to appear on the Internet without a big dot in front of my face.
----
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} He is a damnation.
{{qf|Moe}} Hey, you kiss your cross with that mouth?
{{qf|Reverend Loejoy}} I know what I said.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} This place makes no sense.
{{qf|[[Fat Tony]]}} You're telling me? I'm on this jury while I am simultaneously in prison.
----
{{qf|[[Blue-haired lawyer]]}} And when you found the victim lying carved up like a spiral-cut ham, you took this photo.
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Yeah, but see how I got the full moon reflecting in the pool of blood? And that's just using the iPhone 10, not the good one. Amazing.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Let's take him down.
{{qf|Moe}} You got to be more specific, Homer. We hate lots of guys in this bar.
----
{{qf|[[Gil Gunderson]]}} Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, consider everything you've seen, and beyond a shadow of a doubt, you will vote guilty.
{{qf|[[Constance Harm]]}} You're the not guilty guy.
{{qf|Gil}} Uh, wha-what? Gol-dang it.
----
{{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} Whoa, was that your mom?
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} In a million years my mom would not be that cool.
{{qf|Marge}} Bart, be home by 6:00.
{{qf|Milhouse}} Well, if it's not your mom, she stole her catchphrase.

{{Season 34|A}}