Editing Hans Across America/Quotes

{{TabQ|nogags}}

{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Hey, Mr. Flanders, are you having a barbeque? I can bring over some tofu hot dogs if you'd like a meat-free alternative!
{{qf|[[Ned Flanders]]}} Don't worry, Lisa. No meat will be feeling this heat!
{{qf|Lisa}} Glad to hear it!
{{qf|Ned}} This fire's for an old-fashioned book burning!
{{qf|Lisa}} What?!
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{{qf|[[Patty]]}} Congrats! You're now old enough to swim to the surface!
{{qf|[[Ariel]]}} [Gasp] Is that safe?
{{qf|Patty}} Sure, we do it all the time!
{{qf|[[Selma]]}} It's really hard to smoke underwater!
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{{qf|Ariel}} I don't think he can swim!
{{qf|Patty}} Not our problem. [Cough] Get involved and he'll probably end up suing you!
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{{qf|[[Agnes]]}} Why does everyone call me "Sea Witch"? My name's Agnes!
{{qf|Ariel}} Your son told me to.
{{qf|[[Seymour Skinner]]}} It's just a nickname I have for you, mother. An affectionate nickname!
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{{qf|[[Moe]]}} You'll bounce back. Man, if I wuz a handsome prince like you, I'd be kissing all the princesses in comas I could find, trying to wake 'em up!
{{qf|Prince [[Homer]]}} I did that once. I'm not allowed at the hospital anymore.
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{{qf|Moe}} Why so glum, my liege? Married life not treating you well?
{{qf|Prince Homer}} It turns out we had what she called "irreconcilable differences" and she had to get... what's that thing called?
{{qf|Moe}} An annulment?
{{qf|Prince Homer}} If that's the one with the guillotine, then yeah!
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{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Oh hello, lowly servant. I'm a prince who was at a costume party where I was dressed as a peasant. I had a few too many hot mead toddies, wandered off, and got lost in the woods. I need a place to stay the night.
{{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Wait a minute, aside from your good looks, what proof do you have that you're royalty?
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} My medical bracelet says that I'm a hemophiliac. Also, I'm barely tolerating talking to someone as poor as yourself.
{{qf|Smithers}} All right, I'll set up your bed chamber!
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{{qf|[[Jimbo Jones]]}} What are you in for? I threw a tomato at the king.
{{qf|[[Dolph Starbeam]]}} I stabbed a duke with a carrot!
{{qf|Smithers}} I killed a handsome prince with a pea. I got life in prison for vegicide regicide!
{{qf|[[Kearney Zzyzwicz]]}} And parents still tell their kids vegetables are good for them. When will they learn?
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{{qf|Ugly Duckling}} Am I ugly, mom?
{{qf|Duck mother}} Oh yeah, big time!
{{qf|Ugly Duckling}} Fine! I know when I'm not wanted!
{{qf|Duck mother}} Don't let the marsh hit you on your way out!
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{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Can you help me reach that book?
{{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} I would advise you to first purchase a ladder from the hardware store down the street. When I reach upwards, my shirt rises up and my exposed belly becomes the subject of tittering.
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{{qf|[[Thumbelina]]}} Can I convince you not to eat me?
{{qf|[[Clancy Wiggum|Wiggum Frog]]}} Maybe. I'm looking for a wife for my son!
{{qf|[[Ralph Wiggum|Ralph Frog]]}} My breath smells like flies!
{{qf|Thumbelina}} Okay, on second thought, I'm good with being eaten!
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Death! You come back here with my children! Take Grampa instead!
{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} This is why I don't like taking walks with the family!
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{{qf|Marge}} You haven't even touched your salad, Lisa.
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} It's just that now that I'm a plant, it feels wrong to eat another leafy creature. Could you pass the pork chops?
{{qf|Homer}} That's my girl! You kids should get kidnapped by Death more often!

[[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]]