Editing Bummer Games/Quotes

{{TabQ|nogags}}

{{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} Are you still upset about the assignment Mrs. Krabappel gave us to tell the history of the Ancient Olympic Games in a creative way?
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Well, duh! Y'know, at first I thought it'd be fun. Then I found out she was talking about the boring sports tournament... not the awesome video game company responsible for the goriest game ever!
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{{qf|Bart}} I'm already getting an "F" in history, and the assignment counts for 50% of my grade, so do the math! No, really, I mean do the math. I'm failing that, too.
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Even though the International Olympic Committee decided not to hold the Games in [[Springfield]], I still think [[Springy]] has legs...
{{qf|Bart}} But he only has arms.
{{qf|Homer}} Shut up, boy.
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{{qf|Bart}} Grampa, I need your help with a class project.
{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Well, you've come to the right place, Bart! I've got class up the wazoo!
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{{qf|Grampa}} Did you know I competed in the Summer Games in [[Berlin]] in '36? Got the bronze medal in beer pong! Of course, I was a young black man at the time, so the führer...
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{{qf|Bart}} I don't know, Homer... Some of Grampa's answers sounded pretty crazy. Do you think any of it's true?
{{qf|Homer}} That stuff happened a long time ago, boy. Who's to say what is and isn't true? I suppose we could spend the next several hours fact-checking, or we could go to Krustyburger for some frosty chocolate milkshakes.
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{{qf|[[Ralph Wiggum]]}} How did the Olympics get started in the first place? And will the caterpillar in my ear become a butterfly?
{{qf|Springy}} That's half of a good question, Ralph! Here's the answer that springs to mind!
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{{qf|[[Zeus]]}} (Homer) Dinosaurs! Now that was a good show! Whatever happened to them?
{{qf|[[Hera]]}} (Marge) You got bored and threw a meteor at them!
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{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} So, that's the word from up above! We need to do something great... and fast!
{{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} Who told you that?
{{qf|Rev. Lovejoy}} I overheard Zeus say it. He's having an affair with my wife!
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{{qf|Springy}} The original Olympics Committee ([[Hercules]], {{Ch|Larry King}}, and the great poet Homer) gathered to decide where to hold the Games!
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{{qf|Poet Homer}} Let's just stick to the script, boy! Ahem! I want to know where we should hold the Olympics!
{{qf|{{ap|Thor|Norse mythology}}}} ([[Comic Book Guy]]) [Yawn] Who cares?
{{qf|Springy}} Thor, king of the gods, was unmoved! So was his wife... Wonder Woman!
{{qf|[[Wonder Woman]]}} ([[Edna Krabappel]]) Harumph! A bunch of grown men prancing around in the buff! They're afraid to let the Amazons compete in their little games!
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{{qf|Homercles}} Fine then! if that's how it's gonna be, we would rather compete... in the nude!
{{qf|[[Apu]]}} [GASP!]
{{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} Homercles, are you sure about this?
{{qf|Homercles}} Trust me. They wouldn't dare call our bluff on competing in the buff!
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{{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} Due to the bareskinned brotherhood we just witnessed, I have... er, ah... determined that the common man has value. I hereby declare that [[Greece]] is now a democracy!
{{qf|Homercles}} Woo-hoo!
{{qf|Springy}} So thanks to a few naked crusaders, we have the right to vote.
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{{qf|Springy}} [[Groundskeeper Willie]] asks: "Whut en tha wairld di' tha eerly Olympians doo fa spairt?" I have no idea what that means, but here's a look at... All the events in the early Oympics!
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{{qf|Springy}} Lisa Simpson asks "How did the tradition of the torch relay get started?"
{{qf|Lisa}} I did not!
{{qf|Springy}} Yes, you did. Now here's your answer!
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{{qf|Ralph}} Ding-dong! I'm the statue of limitations!
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{{qf|Poet Homer}} Woo-hoo! Bite me, wienies! I got the watchamajigger!
{{qf|Ralph}} That was fun. Now, I'm gonna go lick rocks.
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{{qf|[[Otto Mann]]}} Whoa! sweet special effect!
{{qf|Homer}} Special effect nothin'! I'm really on fire here! Yeeearrch!
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{{qf|Springy}} And so, everytime they hold the Olympic Games, they honor the first torch bearers by having people run around with fire looking for a new city to host the event. This is also why it takes years for them to have an Olympics.
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{{qf|Springy}} Barney Gumble asks: "Has bowling ever been an Olympic sporting event?" That's like asking if air is a vegetable... or if the Pope has X-Ray vision!
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{{qf|Lisa}} Well, Bart, I posted my video rebuttal on [[MyTube]].
{{qf|Bart}} Oh yeah? How's that going? Getting lots of viewers?
{{qf|Lisa}} So far, only twelve.
{{qf|Milhouse}} Eleven of those were me!

[[Category:The Simpsons Go for the Gold stories quotes]]