Editing Burger Kings/Quotes

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Uncut Femmes|Panic on the Streets of Springfield}}

{{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Sir, your personal chef is here with your breakfast.
{{qf|Chef}} Voilà. One raisin, wrinkles ironed and smoothed, with one molecule of sugar.
{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} ''[eats half the raisin]'' Too sharp. It could cut me to ribbons.
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} What is that delicious smell?
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Um, uh, this is my lunch. My wife just gave me a salad, but she said I could choose my own dressing, so I picked this hamburger.
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} I must have more of these, uh... What do you call them?
{{qf|Homer}} Hamburgers.
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} You're eating people from Hamburg?
{{qf|Homer}} I don't know. Maybe.
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{{qf|Nurse}} No, sir. Eating meat could kill you.
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Eh, no one lives forever. Except [[Dick Cheney]]. What's his deal?
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} People don't like me. hey really don't. Why?
{{qf|Smithers}} You've released the hounds on nearly everyone in town, sir.
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Everyone loves dogs, Smithers. It must be something else.
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{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I... I'm just getting word [[Springfield Dam]] has ruptured and water is roaring down. We'll let the, uh, sad news cover that.
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Praise, praise... Something I've craved since I was a little boy.
:''[flashback]''
{{qf|Young Burns}} I drew this picture of you hugging me, Mummy.
{{qf|[[Daphne Burns]]}} I don't like art that lies. Oh, and by the way, your father's dead.
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{{qf|[[Blue-haired lawyer]]}} Before we film, we need you to sign this contract stating that what you publicly say about our product is limited to certain catchphrases.
{{qf|Smithers}} Approved phrases limited to... "yes ve-gan," "I guaran-tree it," "abso-lettuce," and the "meat beater."
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} With all these commercials, I'm afraid your father's going to need bigger pants. [[Amazon Alexa|Alexa]], do you have any X-X-X-X-X-X-X-XL in stock?
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{{qf|[[Krusty the Clown]]}} Mel, you're three of those letters. Where did I go wrong?
{{qf|[[Sideshow Mel]]}} Your product is inferior. Your marketing is offensive. And you have more ex-wives than franchise locations.
{{qf|Krusty}} What happened to kiss-ass Mel who was afraid of my shadow?
{{qf|Sideshow Mel}} I joined an empowerment group with [[Mr. Teeny|the monkey]] and the cue card guy.
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{{qf|[[Beloved Billionaires Club]] manager}} All the other beloved billionaires are here. There's [[Warren Buffett]], there's [[Bill Gates]], and that's it.
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{{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} This is kind of scary, like putting on a wet bathing suit.
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{{qf|Homer}} Lisa, I'm sorry to put it on you, but every generation has its to-do list. Yours is putting [[Miami]] on stilts, inventing new bees, and learning to peacefully live with fire tornadoes.
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} What's going on? Why is everyone baring their teeth at me?
{{qf|Smithers}} They're smiling, sir.
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{{qf|Kent Brockman}} A supersize admission in the burger wars. Have we been fed an order of lies, or worse... Curly lies? Good God, I'm hungry.
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{{qf|Krusty}} I did it again. I won by doing nothing.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} That's my hero.
{{qf|Krusty}} Always will be.
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{{qf|Smithers}} Sir. You're happy.
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Yes. Because I'm no longer crushed by morality. I gave it a nice go... Almost a full month... But in the end, evil always wins.

{{Season 32|Q}}